Banishing the winter blues, warming each other up in The Village

[LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA]

Err, we need a new thread guys - I know this is Vicar's job so i hope you like the name.

This thread is a support group for those with mental health issues and generally feeling crap, some of us are on medication, some of us have help.

So come on in, grab a stool at the pub, the fires warm and the welcome is warmer - stay a while or move right on in!

All welcome

Ha! im not very good at this!

Welcome onthehill and chopin settle in and make yourself at home

Hello dd, snowy, lem, tac, khimaira, lem

Anxiety a problem for me too today. Have a church meeting at my house in 15 mins, so trying to get ready for that. Exhausting.

(((hugs))) to all that need them tonight. I'm hoping to come and post properly after my meeting...

dd has just come down to sing me a One Direction song!!!

Welcome onthehill

I'm struggling lots, weekend plans have fallen through, they were the only things I was holding on for.

(((( all ))))

ciq hope your church meeting goes well :)

Sorry ur plans have fallen through snowy can u think about other things u can fill the weekend up with?

I'm just about ready to go to bed but have to wait till DD falls asleep... Not quite sure what I'm feeling just Odd... Like I don't belong here it's really been stressing me out :(

Thank you for the welcomes!
I take citalopram, 20 mg a day though some days I double up
But feeling a bit alone with it all really, sometimes it's just hard to pretend everything is normal when my heart is pounding...
I'm glad I found you all.
Pint of ale, please.

welcome chopin and onthehill - its good here, very supportive and i always feel i can say whatever i like and no one will judge. I moan about loads, small stuff and big stuff - theres always someone along sooner or later to help.

Now theres a woman after my own heart - a pint of ale it is onthehill. :) I like proper beer!

Anxiety is shit isn't it - i find its always there, just at varying levels - this week has been shite for me. DP is behind with his jobs and it shouldnt be stressing me out but it is, then i get on his case and he gets stressed, vicious circle.

I would say onthehill that if you are doubling up on your citalopram that could actually make your anxiety worse, it takes a while to build up and whenever i have to increase my dose i am always given some diazepam or similar to help me over those times. Maybe have a chat with your GP and see if there is anything that they can give you for days when you are really struggling, it might be more effective than randomly doubling up - just a thought, it may well work fine for you but if i do that i struggle. We are all different.

DP is out at his hobby, i am waiting for him to come home, DD is wanting to wait up for him (he should be home soon) but i just want to go to bed - today I have been helping DP with his job, but he is really pissed off and says he feels ive put him under pressure - looking at it, i have so now i feel bad.

Thanks LEM I hadn't actually realised that doubling up would potentially make me feel worse...which now I think about it, it bloody has! What is diazepam for? Maybe I need to see gp again. My anxiety is definitely worse when I'm ovulating and on, does anyone else find that?
Sorry you're having a stressy week. Sounds difficult if you help someone then they feel pressurised, how do you get that right? might be their problem more than yours One more day then the weekend..if that helps...

Back again

Thanks dd it did go well and actually picked me up a bit having a bit of banter.

snowy really sorry to hear about your weekend plans - can you make any new ones that might help?

Oooh I feel like something stronger to drink tonight - something more spirit-like. Any recommendations barpeople?

LEM sometimes people who run their own businesses need to be put under pressure and be accountable to someone else.... even if they don't like it, so don't feel too bad

onehill Lem is spot on re: the citalopram. I'm on 40mg fluoxetine and felt dreadful when I started and when I upped my dose. Diazepam is a tranquiliser, can be helpful in the very short term to calm you down when you need to increase meds.

[warning - next para might be upsetting]

I'll second everyone on the anxiety is shit front. Had college today which is good, but after a rather unsettling conversation with classmates at lunchtime, my anxiety went crazy and it took me over an hour to be able to start painting - just couldn't pick up the brush/work out in my head how to start. One of the women shared that her exh who she's completely estranged from, had rung their dd that morning having made a suicide attempt. And several others - lovely people who I get on with - shared bad experiences of living with family members with mental illness/autism and spoke solely negatively about them. I can appreciate that it must be very hard having, for example, a sister with severe anxiety and behavioural/personality type disorder who has to live in an old people's home, but its not surprising that she talks about suicide each time she sees her really. I haven't shared any of my experiences with them (even tho I know one who's an ex hv would be v supportive) as its nice to go somewhere where I don't have to wonder what they're thinking about me . But I was really struck by the complete lack of sensitivity to the person with the mental illness and certainly doesn't encourage me to open up.

I'm sorry I hope this isn't upsetting, maybe I should put a warning in front of that big para?

Anyhow one of the people from church who's a v talented musician was v complementary about my latest painting and that was lovely and I think I am going to resort to chocolate and Greys Anatomy...

take care all x

I'm waiting for the CT to call back, some time in the next hour, wish I hadn't taken my meds yet, I need to curl up in bed.

CiQ - that is exactly what my DP said to me today, that he doesn't like being under pressure, but needs to be and working with me is like having a boss I don't want to fall back into being a control freak again though, it caused alot of problems between us.

I wouldnt take it to heart CIQ, i think we all moan about our relatives/loved ones when times are difficult, its our way of coping, even if we sound like we are making light or being negative. Suffering from MH issues myself have made me try to be more tolerant but it is hard. I have actually found opening up about my anxiety and depression useful and have always been stunned to hear that people have or have had, similar issues. there really are more people than we realise.

Might i recommend a Jack daniels and coke? i'd like one of those just now, but no alcohol in the house tonight. Its funny, sometimes i enjoy spirits more than wine, i'll have one spirit drink and be satisfied, but i'll drink the wine until its all gone

Diazepam is the clinical name for valium, it works really well, it is addictive though so the doctor wont prescribe it long term, even for occasional use, but if you are really struggling it might be as well to have a chat. I found 40mg long term made me zombiefied and i think i lost a year of my life. But then i am still here, without it, im not sure i would have been. I have been on 20mg for a year now and i don't anticipate stopping anytime soon.

oh snowy, im sorry about your weekend plans, what were they? is there something else you can do?

lem that's a tricky balance isn't it. One of the reasons I don't want to get involved in the admin/finance of my dh's business because I don't want to have to be "managing" him in those areas.

Hmm could be tempted by the JD. Two penguin biscuits helped though!

Oh, sorry to hear about your plans snowy. Any chance of doing something else? Apologies if totally off here, is there any way you could find an art therapy group locally? I found this list of websites here if it's any use.

Is it ever acceptable to contact your DH's doctor without his permission, or even without telling him you will. or trying to get your MIL to agree to do it so you can honestly say you've never spoken to his doctor if questioned

Morning all,

So it's day 4 of diazepam (I have another thread going on this) wasn't sure if I mentioned it here! I'm feeling a little better today nothing great. Restless night so not much sleep & DD up nice n early :( got a family visit later so really need to get myself & DD showered up but no energy right now :( plus the weather is crap & cold & Its that time of the month - grrrrrrrrr

ciq & lem business stuff sounds like a delicate balance needs to be found to keep everyone happy.

khim I think it depends on what ur worried about (sorry if u have mentioned it as I've missed it). I went to Dr re my dad the other day as he couldn't. The Dr did ring my dad whilst I was there to confirm he could talk to me though so it depends also hw ur GP services r run?

Hello to everyone else & hope morning has started well xxx

Hi all

dd good luck with diazepam today. Sounds like a tough combination today - hang in there.

khimaira you can make an appointment with your dh's GP to discuss his health, but I think there are limits as to what the GP can do - really need to get your dh to his GP but I know how hard that can be. Maybe your GP could suggest some form of words? Tricky one. My dh went to his parents GP to talk about them, but scope was limited - more success when he went along with his parents... Probably a good question for the receptionist. I've done the "I'd really appreciate your advice on this" line and they liked that... all the best.

OK today, done the supermarket run, but v tired - simply due to late nights so not rocket science!

Thanks ciq

MIL is about to arrive, I'm going to ask what she thinks. I don't have time to write now. Have to clean for a potential viewing this afternoon! I just don't believe he is being honest with the dr and it is having a negative effect on the children. Even MIL was shocked when I told her what had happened yesterday :(

I hope your day has improved Khimaira. Did you get time for a nap, CIQ? I hope your visit goes ok, DD? How are things all?

Hi snowy no nap but surviving! Watching Jonathon Creek with a glass of How's your day been?

Hi all,

I feel absolutely drained today thanks to yesterday's visit which in hindsight went ok. TV is on in the background well Disney channel to be precise for DD. All I wanna do is curl up in bed but no chance of that till later tonight. Anxiety is still pretty bad plus a stupid headache but think I should be able to cope - just about today.

khim hope mil visit went ok.

ciq snowy lem & all hope ur day has started well :)

A different family member visited, we had a nice lunch out. I hope you feel better, DD.

Oh that gud snowy glad u had a nice lunch :) what u got planned for the weekend?

the sun has come out which has made me feel a bit better. Little one is off for a walk with brother so I get 5mins to myself before I start tidying up after her :( but hey one more day then she is back at nursery.... I think time of month is really effecting my mood though :(

Hi all, hope you're all feeling okay.
I agree DD, it's been good to be out in the sunshine, even it it was mending the fence.....
Feeling twitchy, but I'm at a party tonight so I'll drink through it...

I might try and do some knitting tomorrow. Watching the voice just now. Time of the month can be awful Good luck with the party, onthehill

Hi all

onthehill hope party goes ok. I often follow your strategy which usually works!

dd sounds like you've done well today and time of the month stuff can be hard on top of everything else.

snowy I have Restoration Man on - quite like George Clark ;) Glad you had a visitor today.

My anxiety has been deadly today - feel like someone's been standing on my chest most of the day. Can only assume its tiredness plus I am stressing about my painting commission after freezing at college on Thursday. But the day has gone OK, despite dh being at his parents most of the day. Hoping I'll feel better tomorrow.

How's everyone else doing?