Banishing the winter blues, warming each other up in The Village

[LEMoncehadacatcalledSANTA]

Err, we need a new thread guys - I know this is Vicar's job so i hope you like the name.

This thread is a support group for those with mental health issues and generally feeling crap, some of us are on medication, some of us have help.

So come on in, grab a stool at the pub, the fires warm and the welcome is warmer - stay a while or move right on in!

All welcome

Ha! im not very good at this!

Snowy, sounds like a good day xx

I want to crawl under a stone and hide. I've so much to sort out and no energy to get any of it done. I don't know where to start. And I'm worried I said the wrong things at DS's appointment on Monday. And he has another next week, 2 hours with a psychologist and I'm panicking at the thought of it. What if they decide his problems are all my fault? Will they take the DC away from me? What happens if I answer their questions wrong? I need to organise a party for DD - everyone in our circle gives a proper birthday party and I have no idea how to organise one, what food I'll need, how much. I have family visiting for 5 days (not helpful guests), I need to clean, in case the people we are trying to sell to want to see round again. DD is still ill, DS today went into hit/spit/kick/destroy mode. It could last a few days. We haven't told my family he is having assessments, but the IL's know and the whole lot are meeting at the weekend. We've asked them not to say anything...but you never know if they might. We should find out if we are selling this week. I have a dentists appointment on Thursday (quaking in fear), my teeth have been ruined by pg with DD and are falling to bits. I know I need work, but I won't have the money for it. I had a hideous experience last time I was at dentist and it's taken me a long time to make this appointment... I urgently need to do my tax. I'm forever doing things wrong at home and it's not fair on DH who is having a rough time with insomnia and taking it out on us I don't do enough with the kids, housework is piling up and nothing seems to make a dent in it. If I do something I have to ignore the kids who go and make a mess elsewhere. I am complaining, I know. I can't focus enough to write replies to other posts. Sorry. I want to give up.

Khimara - one thing at a time. Leave aside the worry about DS for a moment.

That leaves: organise party - when for? how many? what age?
clean house
dentist - a) check whether you are entitled to financial help (can't remember the criteria and am ood anyway) b) attend appointment
tax - is this overdue? then it should be the priority

I ended up declaring a sick day, although I got dressed I spent the afternoon in bed as well as the morning, as my stomach is a bit odd (nothing serious, it'll sort itself), and goggling at telly this evening.

TAC is a quote from the Archers (an everyday story of countryfolk, m'lud) - Lynda Snell said it about her dog, and we on the Archers thread in Radio Addicts were rather tickled. So I have done a nc, I am/was TheSparklyPussycat, and will likely revert soon :)

i know who you were/are I've never listend to the archers - maybe i should, i don't like soaps though - ha! i used to watch eastenders but i can't stand it now, because people shout too much

OK, feeling a bit down tonight. Found out yesterday I'd have to do the level 2 and 3 qualifications at college, rather than jumping from 1 (that I'm doing now) to 3, like the careers people told me I'd be able to but my tutor is going to kick their bum for that :) That's fine, I don't mind that, at all.

Only problem is, the level 2 is £750. The level 3 is £2,500 as I'll be over 24. I've already been to university, so don't think there's any help available.

It's a bit daunting, but I'm hoping that I can get a little part time job and stash my wages away to save up.

Need to not worry about that right now - I had a great day skating, and am volunteering again tomorrow :)

Boo!

Just seen this come up in active convo's so I thought I'd post and then I saw that you were talking about me!

I'm doing good. Still got my essay to do. My mum ending up in hospital got in the way (think that's where I bumped into LEM). But kids are back at school now so I must do it.

I accidentally ran out of meds last week and boy these buggers have hideoys withdrawal symptoms (venlafaxine - I won't bd doing that again). But back on track now.

I have an important phone call to make tomorrow which I've been putting off....so very shaky (I have phone phobia).

But. I guess the most significant thing that has put a grin on my face is the presence of a man (well boy...he's only 27 ) in my life. Its only a FWB arrangement. But hey everyone wants to know what I'm grinning about ...and I have something to focus on...working out what to do about contraception .

Have seen Vicar about. It is her birthday today and shd started a thread yesterday. She was a bit down cos her ds (predictably) hadn't got a card and her dd was throwing a strop about her wanting to go out with a friend.
Think its all turned out ok.

If anyones up maybe we could head over there on mass and throw her a surprise party for the last 8 minutes of her birthday? ??

Hey ed good to see you! And get you, a cougar it would seem - good for you!! Very trainable at that age I seem to remember :)

Yeah but the 12 days between meet ups is hell on earth

And its only been 4 days.....sob

Thank you TAC. Tax is not overdue (yet), party next week, ten children invited ranging between 1.5-5 years. Mums will be staying at the party so need to cater for them too. So, need to organise activities/toys as well as food. The day before is taken up with playgroup and doctors appointments. I thought my visitors would leave in the morning, now they tell me they want to come to playgroup with us and are staying for lunch. My MIL was supposed to be coming with me (as usual) so this will be a recipe for disaster, I need her to look after Dd whilst DS has his appointment, but we're not telling my parents that he has an appointment. My parents have said its ok, Mil doesn't need to come, but she does! And I need a quick lunch so I can get DS out again. argh!

Dentists, not entitled to any help. I have the rest of my birthday money from last year so all I can do is say I have X amount to spend so whatever need doing up to that cost and I'll have to make another appointment for the rest after my next birthday, if I get some money.

Hey all

Not well today has been spent in bed most of it & just lots of & chocolate [buiscuit] with the tv on in the background!

lem & khim & voilet hope things have improved for u all :)

Hello to ed & keep ing as that is something to smile about!

snowy hw u doing today?

Hugs to all & hope the day is going well for all xxx

Glad to hear you're doing well, Ed

I'm really struggling, tired but I need to stay up later or I'll wake more in the night.

I miss art therapy.

Khimaira, years ago, when mine were little, I did many chaotic simple parties for LOs. I just produced the tea, as I am old fashioned this had sandwiches, crisps, cocktail sausages, jelly, ice cream and birthday cake. Are they too little for party bags (that was the most stressful thing for me)? We all sat around watching the LOs play and keeping a laidback eye on them. I imagine for ones that young you don't want the whole thing to go on too long.

This is all years ago, and fashions have changed (although mine were always old-fashioned) - they seemed to be a hit with everyone though. Are you wanting to do something more elaborate?

Anyway, I expect you know what you want already. Next step - a list with tasks allocated to days?

That's awkward about the visitors. Would it really be so bad to level with them?

TAC ur old fashioned party idea sounds perfect to me so I guess I must b old fashioned too

Just popped back to bid u all a good night & hope everyone gets some much needed rest :)

Have a good, restful night all.

I can't sleep :(

The party sounds lovely TAC, just about the right sort of thing for that age - cucumber and carrot sticks are good too. at that age, they just need to play - maybe a pass the parcel but other than that, just let them be. No more than two hours.

Old fashioned suits me fine! I'm not doing it in our flat (not enough space, scared 10 kids would destroy it!) but in the communal party room that we can rent. So just downstairs. I was thinking a couple of tables with colouring stuff/rice in a tray/play-dough and maybe take some books down. Take down the duplo train set, balls, basketball hoop and mattresses. And then balloons.
Food wise was thinking (for the kids) veg sticks, sandwiches (or just bread and a bowl of baby bel!), crisps, fruit, cake. I have to be very careful because with food on tap my two would eat non stop. For the adults...I'm stuck. Party bags I will do but already know what to get. Need to go the the cheap shop to see what biscuits/chocolate they have on offer and get some of those expandable towels (DS obsessed at the moment).
Birthday cake will be chocolate and wondering about making carrot cake cupcakes rather than a second normal cake. It's quantities I have no idea about. How much can I make two days in advance?

Hi everyone I've lurked on this thread a bit and thought I would post I did a new thread in mental health on Tuesday and the support I got was great. If I can introduce myself am 45 years old with long standing mh issued prior to having dcs who are now 9 and 6. Am on mirtazapine for the past year which has been quite good for the depression it has made me put on a bit of weight but I just have to live with that I suppose. Current problem is anxiety and lot of trouble sleeping - saw the doc on Tuesday who prescribed me a benzo type thing. I got the advice leaflet out and was a bit shocked to have been prescribed that . He told me to take is at night "as you don't want to go around all day feeling like a fucking zombie"! So I have had two decent nights sleep on it.

I told my dh last night after 9 I was going to bed to read - I bought "The Goldfinch " yesterday and was looking forward to it by page 15 I was zonked out - the first 15 pages were excellent though! It's 791 pages so I have a bit to go!

I think what is causing my anxiety at the moment is that for the past 8 months myself and dh have been in the process of setting up a new business (in food catering) we have some bookings for this year and events on but my anxiety is just running out of control. I am quite worried about having been prescribed a benzodiazepine as I've head they can be addictive - great! The GP did say if my anxiety during the day was very bad then to take one in the day. I am not trying to be churlish because at the end of the day I went in for help and got it but still I can't help worrying. Dum Dum I see you have also been prescribed a similar thing - how do you feel about it?

I think this will be a trying few months given what is happening with the business thing but I have to "keep on keeping on" if you see what I mean. I think I am going to regard the anxiety drug as "take as and when needed" and maybe try to lay of it the the rest of the time - these things ebb and flow as you probably know all to well. On evening I can be on the sofa cuddling the dcs watching tv and feeling fine the next day it can be a disaster!

Anyway sorry for the long post - lovely to "meet" you all but hugs to those who are struggling. Lem I know what you mean about having too much time on your hands I know if I had more to do at the moment I would feel a lot a lot better it's just getting from A to B.

Sorry for long post. Chopin.

Khimaira if you have cake tins/tupperware you should be able to make cakes 2 days in advance. Ice them on the day if possible, or the day before. IME LOs love the idea of birthday cake, don't be disappointed if they don't actually eat much of their slice! (Leftover cake was a perk for greedy me )

Or with room in freezer you could make them even earlier.

The playthings sound great, so long as it doesn't make you too tired taking them up and down and clearing up.

I don't think parents expect much for themselves - tea or coffee would prob be enough? in my young day we all got sloshed on wine I'm afraid, but we all lived in walking distance of each other

Hi chopin and welcome. I am not prone to anxiety so can't be much practical help...

Thanks TAC Yes, the idea of clearing up does worry me but at least it won't be my flat. We do wine here too, must remember to put that out...which is why I need some food for the adults too! Most people will come by foot/bus, only a couple will drive because they are lazy because we are right in the centre of town. Actually, I'm quite tempted to do crackers and cheese (if I can find some crackers...)

I went totally crazy this morning and bought DD a load of clothes. There was one I'd seen ages ago but couldn't really justify buying it but today it was half price. And there were some other things on the rack I will take them back if they don't match her other clothes though, but I think they do. And I so rarely buy her clothes, all her things -she does have a lot- are passed down to us, so although they're nice they're not what I would choose to dress her in IYSWIM. But I reckon DH won't notice!

We really can't speak to the visitors about it, discussed it with MIL and she agrees it wouldn't be fair on DS. So she is in on the plot and will help me come up with a cover story about it.

Hi and welcome Chopin, I'm not much help either because I never have anything sensible to say.

DD I really hope you managed to get some sleep.
snowy is there anyway you can continue at home with the art? Or be referred back to it?
violet can you get work in the branch in which you are doing your course? Maybe they would then help with training costs?

I can do art at home, can't be rereferred to art therapy.

Welcome Chopin

Climbing the walk with anxiety today & so tired thanks to not much sleep & diazepam effects :(

Welcome chopin :)

Can you fit a nap into the day, DD?

Can I join?
Anxiety big issue for me...thought I was managing it well, but, hey ho!

snowy I wish DD won't allow day nap :( brother has kindly offered to take her for an hour so I can just chill & maybe watch some tv. Hw u doing?

Welcome onthehill :) are u taking any meds?