Andes up - who needs a rock to lean on? Rock on over here!

[ThatVikRinA22]

in honour of ed and her mountain ranges.....

welcome to thread 3 - this is a support thread for anyone needing a hand to hold while they get through depression or any other mental health problems - long term or temporary. All are welcome.

linky to old thread

And of course you didn't mean it that way nina - I would never post on MN if I had to remember who everyone was all the time - I get by with remembering some people some of the time (or being reminded of them by a post). I also have display set to one single page per thread, which makes it slightly easier to scroll back.

I have AS (I think) and have always had similar problems with names and face recognition, since before the dawn of time the internet was invented, so it's not a new problem to me, and one I've become more relaxed about as I have aged matured? mellowed.

Had a wonderful restorative night's sleep last night at aged DF's, and have seen aged DM - both fit as fiddles.

Nina are you away for Easter? Crikey hope Ireland gets some sunshine as all of us need it too . Have a family lovely time . Keep posting and let us know how life is with you . I cannot keep up either now despite lovely leather notebook ! Just so good to have so many on the thread as sisters in arms . Always one of us to answer a question or give a hug . xxx

Hi everyone, finally made it to the sofa. Quite a full on day. Went to college for painting class which was good but quite stressful. Full on life drawing this morning eg 8 x 2min figure sketches, 2 x 5 min tonal sketches 2 x 10 min line sketches etc. Found it interesting but stressful and then our lovely tutor put on some relaxing classical CD and I welled up! Then in pm was trying to paint a sunset from memory but it was a bit rubbish . Was not feeling good when got home so went for a walk, and actually having dinner helped, so have calmed down a bit now.

Hi everyone esp SPC Helles Vicar can't see who else has posted today cos of new page. Hope everyone's survived the day. A brighter morning was nice. Think I'm going to veg on the sofa tonight (for a change!) Kids off now for 2 weeks which I'm a bit daunted by. It's easier on school days as I have 9-3 on my own and can pace myself and not be met by demands all day.

Oh SPC just read you've set yours to display one page per thread - how did you do that?

Hey Mama "lamb basset" has a certain ring to it . Shove over Nigella .
Bung in oven , neck some wine , baste juices over the floor ,trip over dog and burn hand ......ad infinitum for ages .

SPC So pleased you had a lovely time

To be fair, i know where nina is coming from, as a newbie i am a bit confused and feel guilty for not knowing everyone's background.

I have had a good day today, my DD told me she loves me and im her best mum (well lets face it, im the only one she has :)) So for that reason, im glad im still here.

Will take a step back i think, wishing you all well and will lurk for a while xx

Lucy you dont need to know all our backgrounds at all . Just post and reply when you want to /or chat nonsense like I do.
I truly think this lovely thread started by Vicar is useful to dip in and out of with friends online . No need to name check .
Of course understand how you feel as I did too a while back . Hope you pop back. And oh my you are your daughters best mum ever . Hold it close to your heart and believe it with all your strength . Cos simply it is true .

What Bugs said x

CiQ go to Customise at the v top of any thread or topic list, there you will find lots of ways to make the display look pretty, and you can set message per page to unlimited.

'Tis done! Thanks SPC

Lucy I've just spotted your post on another thread and wanted to say so sorry to hear you've been having such a tough fortnight, and at your DD. So please do keep posting - here or another thread and enjoy some support yourself as you're so good at supporting others.

evening all.

lucy would be sad to see you go into lurk mode too - there are no conditions on how to use this thread - truly. Its fine whatever anyone wants to do. i try to namecheck but im useless at it, that said its not ever held against me.

its just a support thread. we are all in same boat.

im feeling very very anxious tonight. Occy health got back to me - they have had an email from HR to ask about my hernia diagnosis. I had declared this in Jan as soon as i knew i had it, and said i would enquire re surgery.

the impression i am getting very strongly is that i am have been too ill for their liking and they would prefer it if i went. Trying so hard not to be paranoid but i am really feeling the pressure now.
My sick note ran out on Tuesday and no one from work has contacted me.

I had compiled a text to send supervision but part of me wants to have the interview for the other job first without worrying about going back to work.

i feel long gone now though. forgotten.
im going to end up without a job.

Oh vicar sending {{hugs}} I can so understand why your work situation is getting you down and why you're thinking the way you are. How long is it til your interview? Can you lie low and manage the anxiety til then? I'm really gutted that the police are treating you so poorly. I really believe tho with your strength and insight that in six months time you'll be in a much better place mentally and in terms of work. Hope this doesn't sound too trite. Hang in there tonight x

thank you colouring i just feel so - lost. its so unfair. i ve never had any time off sick until this. I feel so judged, like im some liability. i feel very strongly that my days are numbered in this line of work.

my interview is not for another 2 weeks.

and of course if they start to look into my sick record i wont get it.
im wondering what the hell ive done. have i made myself unemployable?? - if so ive managed that in the space of 4 months. what a fuck up.

Quick hi from me.

I want to say that everyone should feel welcome on the thread. I see myself as giving others company. Giving others moral support. Giving each others words of wisdom. A lot of that doesn't need me to namecheck everyone. If I have specific person to direct my comments to I will namecheck so they can pick things out if they are skimming. Oh and I see myself as providing late night entertainment after a few drinks .

I get soooo much more from this thread than I give. everyones company is worth so much more to me than everything I feel I can give. Knowing that I'm not the only person that is/was sleeping 14hr+ a day adds so much more comfort to me. makes me feel less abnormal. Hearing others difficulties puts some of mine into perspective, or offer me potential strategies for moving forward. My lists of acheivements I post most days are almost a therapy for me too. Being able to brain dump can be cathartic. Can help me clarify my own thoughts even if nobody reads my drivle. I don't need to be namechecked to gain any of that from the thread.

I realise that we are all different. Some feel that they want to personalise comments. Nothing against that at all. The last thing I want is for this thread to drive people into a feeling of lost. Not sure how to rectify it though...maybe we need another bed so we are not so crowded?!?!?

Anyways...just a quickie...I know how you feel vicar. I was thinking the other day how unemployable I have made myself.

Oh and someone reminded me dd3s party and ebay but they are on previous page so I cant see who. Both are done. So thanks.

I will more than likely be back before bed. Just wanted to add my thoughts and wnvourage others to stay :)

ed
(my mumsnet twin, who makes me feel so much less alone.)

i agree. i like that these threads are helping others as much as helping me.

having a bit of an anxious moment as the realisation of what being off sick had done...
how does one come back from that? especially when work dont give a shit....

You will come back Vicar and Ed . You so are not unemployable . What ?
An illness . horrible life changing illness . But as valid as any other my friends.

I truly do remember feeling the same with all the contact re OCC health etc/managers etc. Every phone call put my recovery back weeks . The lack of interest and the pressure to say those magic words ....I am coming back

Ill health never seems to be an isolated thing ...other symptoms appear in sympathy and add to the stress. reflux a very well known anxiety one eg.

I would get another sick note Vicar. Nothing has been put in place re phased return for you /support . Hang on and see how the management plan how to help one of theirs officers back . You passed your probation remember x

What helped me deal with the anxiety of work etc was to think actually the ones doing the phoning /e -mailing couldnt give a toss who I was really.
Whether I go back this week or next year . Just cogs in the big wheel . Depersonalising the whole process made it easier to deal with . Hope you get what I mean .I stopped being apologetic.

thank you bugs

i got another sick note - for 4 weeks but the gp urged me to push strongly for the case conference so that i have something in place for when this one runs out.

they just arent bothered. Im torn between not contacting them and seeing how long it takes them to get back to me (never?? just fade away??) and phoning sgt asap to ask about case conference....but part of me never wants to walk back into that station.

this limbo feels horrible.

I have just dropped by to see if Snowymouse was about, and came across your comments HB - I'm sorry you think I am being unpleasant and I know I have said once before I was leaving the thread and realised I shouldn't have said that some weeks ago. However this time I tried really carefully to word my post so that no one would think badly of me, so I am upset that you thought this, but please believe me that my main reason was because there were other threads that weren't getting much attention, and as this one was so supportive, I was trying to respond to MNs who weren't getting much response if that makes any sense. In fact Cairngorms was one of he people I was supporting on another thread, and she was found her way over to this one, and I told her it was a lovely thread.

Thank you to others who have kind words for me, and just skimming back through the thread I think you have been having a really hard time HB so maybe this has something to do with your view of me.

I will take up the offer of popping by from time to time!

Snowymouse where for art though Snowymouse Are you OK (ish) x

no nina it doesn't and I wouldn't have mentioned it if I thought for one second you meant to or didn't care about coming across that way. it was an opinion of what was being said rather than an opinion of you. just don't forget us while you're off on your missionary work

Am still here hope everyone is feeling ok today, I'm feeling more stable, maybe the meds are working (i think it is because DP has some subbie work and i can put the worry of when the next job is coming in on hold).

I hope everyone has a Good Friday x

Good morning.
I'm glad the meds seem to be working for you, lcyelllensmum95, and that DP has some work.
I am exhausted, and not sure how to find the energy to do what i need to today.

Best wishes all! x

Hang in there Cairn - im in week three of meds now and am only really just starting to feel the fog lift (saying that have just crashed on the sofa for the past hour ). The side effects will subside.

My bloody mother is winding me up again - trying to ignore I do have some diazepam left, just as well

Hi everyone, thinking of you all. Special thoughts to everyone who's off sick from work as I know from DHs experience that adds another layer of stress. Great advice from Ed and Bugs.

I just wondered if anyone could share what difference they felt their ADs have made - I guess specifically what changed when they started to kick in? I have a Docs appt next Tue to review mine. I'll have been on Fluoxetine for about 7 weeks, on 40mg for the last week (and Trazodone for the last three weeks). Over the last two weeks I've been pacing myself better, not doing the morn school run, taking a rest after lunch, and I think on the whole have been a little bit better (eg am able to argue against suidcidal thoughts) but not very much and I'm struggling to know how much/what's changed and why. (yes am prob over-analysing). The brightness the last couple of days has also helped to shift the fog a bit (element of SAD?) Feel very self-absorbed and struggling to work out how much to force myself to do as have v little motivation esp re: household stuff which feels soooo boring (but not sure I was partic enthusiastic before depression . Any thoughts much appreciated x.

P.S. UA Really hope your dad picks up soon x