evening
counselling was useful - got 4 sessions i think. Have homework. I need to write down examples of when i have trusted my own judgement and been right. (in or out of work)
DS has been at it again - rang me in a panic. Im going to call him back tonight. He was trying to get an extension on his dissitation - when he tried before it was too early, not they say its too late. He is also deeply offended because the disability team asked him several questions about drugs - so i asked what made them think that?
He says that he is ill with a cold and they said he looked like he had just got up.
They have clearly taken one look at him - i can guarantee that he will have been in un ironed clothing (possible dirty) he will have been unwashed and unshaven, with hair all over (he doesnt get hair cuts until i force him) - ive said until i am blue in the face that people will judge him on his appearance.....maybe now someone else has said something he might wake up and realise he cant wander about looking like a tramp and expect to get a job or people not ask questions or point it out. 
so - he picks perfect timing. let the stress begin. again.
Back to work tomorrow - just been speaking to the lovely rep for my area. Ive no idea what in store for the meeting but im trying not to worry about it just yet. She is going to represent me. Something is going on but i cant get to the bottom of it.
Have a cracking head ache. Going to try and relax and will take a sleeping pill tonight.
im thinking whats the worst that can happen. Im alive, im well, and its just a job. Nothing is set in stone. I deserve to be happy and if work isnt making me happy i will change it. no biggie.
ill check back tomorrow - im only doing a short shift. ive found some of my work stuff. ive even braved plugging in my works phone.....im ignoring the buzzing of a million emails.....not even looking.
Right. Off to get some dinner for DD and her beau....and me. if i can get some down....