Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Mental health

Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.

Original poster

Andes up - who needs a rock to lean on? Rock on over here!

966 replies

ThatVikRinA22 · 19/03/2013 15:27

in honour of ed and her mountain ranges.....Smile

welcome to thread 3 - this is a support thread for anyone needing a hand to hold while they get through depression or any other mental health problems - long term or temporary. All are welcome.

linky to old thread

OP posts:
EggwiniasRevenge · 20/04/2013 20:54

Hmmmm...edwinia lol!

Silvery is about the best I can come up with....my rabbit was called goldie. My cat was called ginger...and one of my guinea pigs was called ginger....not very inventive....can you guess what colours they were? ??

bassetfeet · 20/04/2013 21:23

Ariadne or Persephone ....Ophelia or Gertrude ? Rita or Deirdre ? Grin

I am off to distract on the baby name board . hug to all xx

TheSilveryPussycat · 20/04/2013 21:38

Oh, so sweeeet... Pearl seems to suit - Pearl of Great Price for her full name.

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 20/04/2013 21:49

pearl of great price! Grin to say she was adopted thats very true....the bloody cage cost 85 quid.

and they dont tell you until you get to the till that they require a "charitable donation".....this was as i was dripping blood everywhere from my bleeding finger....Grin

luckily,she seems much friendlier now. she loves having behind her ears rubbed....she closes her eyes.

OP posts:
TheSilveryPussycat · 20/04/2013 22:22

Rats who haven't had much handling take a while to learn to distinguish finger from food :) as I found to my cost when I stuck a finger into the psych rats' cage - if it's poking in it's probably food was the rule in their somewhat impoverished environment. So a proper chomp.

Finger feeding: I learned to relax, and at first they would try to firmly but fairly seize my finger (with a smear of something nice on it) and run off with it. So I'd be there with this rat trying to run further away with my finger! Then they'd lick the finger. Didn't take long to learn. Oh I miss my rats...

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 20/04/2013 23:49

oh she is a poppet! i think i might be the rat whisperer! she came out for a cuddle tonight, got laid on my tummy while i laid on the sofa, she leaned into my arm, and fell fast asleep while being stroked.....she went into a trance then zonked out! stayed there for a good couple of hours.

she is actually quite a sweet little thing - i think the nip earlier was because i woke her up and she was grumpy and scared.
she has been a darling ever since actually. i have high hopes for me and her....

OP posts:
EggwiniasRevenge · 20/04/2013 23:52

I've had a reasonable evening.

Cooked tea.

Cooked a pineapple upside down for pudding

Played games with dcs.

Then I checked facebook. Friend is posting uncalled for stuff on my mums wall. She is also putting uncalled for stuff on her own statuses.

:(

EggwiniasRevenge · 21/04/2013 00:00

I've had a reasonable evening.

Cooked tea.

Cooked a pineapple upside down for pudding

Played games with dcs.

Then I checked facebook. Friend is posting uncalled for stuff on my mums wall. She is also putting uncalled for stuff on her own statuses.

:(

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 00:01

right ed ,get your mum to delete her and dont be tempted to look at what she is putting.

if she is feeling the need to plaster this over facebook she sounds very immature and petty.

dont look at it. dont let it hurt you. If you dont see it - it cant. dont keep going back to see what she has put - i know its like being told to leave a scab alone and not to pick! but dont do it to yourself.

she is venting and annoyed.
you could point out the irony....

OP posts:
EggwiniasRevenge · 21/04/2013 00:14

Problem is that I don't particularly get on with my mum.

My mum doesn't know about my mh issues...my being off sick etc. My mum confessed last night that she has had a mini breakdown. Its all a big mess.

Another part of the irony is that she has posted something in 'retaliation' to something innocuous on my wall which she can't even see (her dd can). So she's obviously fb stalking me. It's making me cross....so so cross.

I was talking to a different friend the other night. We were saying that neither of us can cry because of the ads. But im pretty close to it now :(

EggwiniasRevenge · 21/04/2013 00:16

And one of my dds has posted a family picture of us this evening which she could understandably take as a dig. It isn't though. They don't even know this argument is happening.

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 00:33

what would make you feel better?

could you text, phone or write to her? do you want to do that? Remind yourself though that you did as much for her as she for you - has she offered to repay the money owed? i doubt it.

my advice re the facebook stuff is just stay off FB until this blows over. Really - just dont look at it. suspend your account, or make it private so only friends can see it - no friends of friends. If you cant or dont want to tell your mum then dont - you dont have to explain. Just make FB vanish for a little while....

having a cry would release some stress, i know what you mean. ADs do kind of numb you up a bit, but i still have big weeps at times and it helps. You are bound to be sad about it all. Whatever happens - it does get easier. And you will start to realise that not doing what someone else wants all the time is actually very liberating and makes you see you can cope without fair weather friends.

I got another call tonight from work....case conference on hold. great. Sad so now i will have that hanging over me until everyone gets their act together.
i am still expected back next week. i am trying so hard not to think about it.

OP posts:
EggwiniasRevenge · 21/04/2013 00:58

Thanks for wise words vicar. I am already locked down to friends only. We are friends with each others dds though so can see by prending to be our kids. I didn't really want to drag them into this but will set up so her dd can't see me without defriending her.

shitty about case conference. I am thinking of you. Huge hugs.

HellesBelles396 · 21/04/2013 01:14

She's not a friend Egg -that's become pretty clear. Ask your mum to unfriend her and move on. She's behaving like a complete shit by posting on your mum's wall about you. Massively out of line.

vicar everything that's happening is a sign that you're right to be looking for alternative employment. Keep your chin up girl.

Have reverted to stage 1 though still in full make-up. Happy night. Probably unhappy morning Sad. Time for zed.

TheSilveryPussycat · 21/04/2013 01:30

I think your so-called friend has burnt her boats, Egg - don't see how the friendship could be recovered, but really I wouldn't want to try.

EggwiniasRevenge · 21/04/2013 01:43

I know.

I just need to work on damage limitation.

Do I carry on doing brownies
Does my dd3 carry on being a brownie
Do dtds continue at guides
What do I do about her dds birthday in 2 days (having already bought and made presents and trying to keep dcs out of this)
How do I approach getting my money back. My spare house keys.
How do I stop her being nasty publicly

Best of it was when I bumped into my friend I was caught having a conversation with...the first thing she said was "can't believe shed reacted like this when you were so positibe about her". Jyst goes to show how 4mins of conversation out of context can be turned to something completely different...

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 02:05

briefly and in order:

if you enjoy it then yes
yes if DD3 enjoys it and is happy
yes if DTDs enjoy it and are happy
go ahead with present giving as planned. dignity in tact. especiall if dds are friends with her dd.
you write to her and say you are sorry you have hurt her feelings but she caught one moment in time, one snippet of a conversation. That you understand if the friendship is over but that you would appreciate it if she could return your keys and all monies owed that you have leant to her. (put a figure if you can work it out!)
and lastly that while you realise she is annoyed with you and clearly has her opinion, you would appreciate it if both your children and hers could remain friends as they share social activities together, and that you would rather not involve them, so could she please think twice before posting comments on FB etc.

but - this is the big thing - come off FB. just for a while. Tell your mum you and her have had a fall out, (she will see the comments on her wall anyway)
You cant control what she puts - but you can ensure you dont have to read it. The less response she gets the faster she will get over it.
If she carries on with the FB nonsense then just tell your kids that you and her have had a misunderstanding and to ignore anything on there.

then - wait for the money and keys to drop through the letterbox.
if they dont - and this is just me - and probably not recommended as the sensible thing to do at all - but if she continues to put tripe on FB i would comment saying sorry for the misunderstanding but did she received your letter asking for the money you lent to her back....use your mums FB!

last bit there optional.
given time to sleep on it i may not do that. but id be bloody tempted....

now. get to bed. there is nothing you can do at 2am....
x

OP posts:
Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 02:08

oh and regards the FB shite.....just point out that in the interests of the kids you both have to work with at brownies that it would surely be better if you could both be professional and keep personal feelings aside, both in real life and on the internet.

then - if it continues revert to plan B as detailed above and show the silly mare up on FB by asking for the £££££ back.

OP posts:
HellesBelles396 · 21/04/2013 02:11

absolutely agree with vicar
treat her how you would wish to be treated initially but if she keeps playing silly beggars and doesn't return your things, you'll need a plan B.

EggwiniasRevenge · 21/04/2013 05:57

Guess I'm not allowed to be awake at 6am then???

HellesBelles396 · 21/04/2013 10:55

absolutely allowed to be awake at that time - did you get up? make sure you grap a couple if half hour naps later.

TheSilveryPussycat · 21/04/2013 12:22

Course you are allowed to be awake - you have been going through a long night of the soul - a change has happened through an unfortunate accident and you are thinking it through. (Similar to what I went through with the DF incident) It will resolve, your mind will also resolve, this takes time.

Agree with vicar re practicalities.

Ladyeddies12 · 21/04/2013 17:45

Hey everyone, mind if I join?

My story... Had my oldest boy 6 year ago and suffered pnd but got through this myself. We have tried for 3 years for another baby and eventually I gave birth to another lil boy on the 5th of march. I was on cloud 9 til day 3 when I gd myself I was gonna die of a hemmorhge. After a week of stressing about it my mam made me go to the doctors and he prescribed me citalopram 20g I took them for a week. In that week I was in a constant state of panic.. Wasn't eating, sleeping or anything. I had given up. Crisis team were there for me and helped a lot. I chose not to take the meds anymore and had my first appointment with the iapt team... By then I had a fear of death.. Every pain or ache I had I thought this was gonna be it.. I truly believed I would die! Few times in a and e and the doctors I started believing everything was gonna be fine.

Have been nearly myself for a few weeks. Doin things I normally would.

Cut to 4 days ago and it's all gone crazy again. I had been having thoughts of what ifs? What. Of I go crazy and hurt my babies? I have never and never will do this. During my last pregnancy I warned everyone to keep an eye on me cos I didn't want to be that person, I guess I planted that seed there and then. Then on Friday I noticed lil man had one pupil bigger than other. I freaked out. Took him to hospital where they say he's perfectly healthy and they can't see it. I know it's there, my partner also seen it and the emergency doctor who I had first met at the hospital had noticed. Now I've been sent home and I'm cryin constantly thinkin something is seriously wrong with my baby and they have missed something. I literally can't relax. Constantly panic. I can't trust in what the doctors have said. What is wrong with me? I would take baby back to a and e just to be checked over again but they are deffo gonna think I'm a crazy woman. I'm so worrrrried. X

HellesBelles396 · 21/04/2013 18:37

hi lady. sounds like you've had quite the time of it. if you're here, you've joined!

all I can say is to try to have faith in the doctors. If you are still worried, though, maybe a check-up at the opticians would set your mind at rest?

Original poster
ThatVikRinA22 · 21/04/2013 18:53

hi lady

i think depression can cause anxiety, and health anxiety. If you are worried about the baby make an appt with your own gp tomorrow just for reassurance.
And mention the feelings you are having - better to nip this in the bud now or at least you can self monitor.

welcome to the thread - if you ever need to say whats in your head - no matter how it sounds - this is the place!

Hows everyone else today?

i have the rat equivalent of a pit bull terrier.....im nursing several chewed fingers today. Sad yet once out and about my new aquisition is quite happy to sit on my shoulder and cuddle....trust me to adopt a rat with ishoooos.

OP posts: