Andes up - who needs a rock to lean on? Rock on over here!

[ThatVikRinA22]

in honour of ed and her mountain ranges.....

welcome to thread 3 - this is a support thread for anyone needing a hand to hold while they get through depression or any other mental health problems - long term or temporary. All are welcome.

linky to old thread

Welcome mal, and well done for taking the all-important step of making a Dr's appt.

Firstly the right medication can do wonders - but sometimes it takes a few weeks to start to work, and sometimes you may need to try several courses of different ones before you find the right one for your physiology. Also, some of them can have initial side effects which are worth bearing with because they are most likely to wear off, but especially because the med may actually work on your mental state.

We are all at different stages, we are managing our recoveries, and you will find plenty of support and hand holding here.

It's also brilliant that you are managing to leave the house, despite all.

Others have had other kinds of help apart from meds - I'll let them tell their experiences. :)

Feeling much much better today myself.

Thank you so much. I have been to the Doctors in the past, been prescribed medication which i've taken (not for very long) and then decided i didn't want to be the kind of person who needed medication and self-sabotage any kind of recovery and help. I am very much my own worst enemy at times.

Hi malheureux you've come to a good place and I completely get what you're saying about self-sabotage. Felt a lot worse for counselling today and really trying hard to resist urge to open bottle of wine and cancel future counselling Hope you manage to stick it out this time.
basset yes that's the one. Made for a lovely first walk and leg warm up for the rest of the week. Even better with snow on the tops and frozen waterfalls in sight

Strangely mal that very decision may indicate that the meds were actually working - in that You Made a Decision (OK perhaps not a v good one in hindsight...) At my very lowest I cannot decide anything - what to wear, which biscuits to buy.

afternoon.

mal welcome - give the meds a proper go, you have taken the first step so well done on that. I can relate to what you said re the meds - but depression/anxiety is an illness like any other - it can be treated with medication. you wouldnt turn down pain meds if you broke your leg....
i found i felt ill and whoozy before i felt any better. now i just feel....normal (ish).

egg
you need to get up. Getting up is the hardest thing going - i know. But once you have got out of bed the rest is easier. You need to get some food in. Your dd needs to eat, as do you. Come on. Up you get.

dont feel bad for being in bed. I stayed in bed until late this morning. but you will feel better when you get up and the shopping is off your mind - so get it done, then back to bed if you need to knowing the kids can be fed.

i am a nervous wreck.
i had a dream about going back to work.
they want me to go back and then work out the finer details of what would help me stay at work....

im not sure i can just walk back in. in my dream i was embarrassed and felt such a fraud....it was so uncomfortable.

ed keeping towels beside the shower and getting straight in when I first go to loo doesn't always work but, once I make it dowmstairs, i am much less likely to head shower-wards.

mal I had cbt, in addition to medication to treat anxiety. it really helped and isn't at all intrusive focussing on future and present fears rather than the past. it's like evidence-based thinking. really helpful.

Hmmm...haven't even made it downstairs ....

Thank you all for the welcome and the advice, it's been really nice to be able to share this as i don't really have anyone in rl to talk to about this.

Sorry for those of you who are struggling.

hi all
so I'm going home today. they think I'm ready to go back to my usual surroundings. brother has just cone to pick me up & all of a sudden I feel a bit panicky. they have got me on a day hospital programme. basically I go to hospital Mon-Fri from 10-4 and do therapy activities with other people who are suffering MH issues. not sure about it as I don't like speaking in front of people & i know that will get my anxiety going again but the Dr seems to think it will be very helpful & will build my confidence level up again to get me more independent. I'm gonna trial it this week and see how it goes.

feeling a bit over wheeled at the moment :(

well done pfl it's a big step and they obviously think you will cope. heading home will be scary, I'm sure.

right ed there are a few hours left of today. get out of bed. get showered. hug your daughters. you're turning your face to the wall but your only task is to get clean (shower/bath and teeth) and into new pyjamas. that's it.

I am up. I am dressed (level 2).

I for some reason have a good cleavage bra on which for some reason is making me feel kind of positive and postured...

I have done a bit of tidying (my lounge kitchen and conservatory are all a huge dumping ground after pack holiday).

I have cooked and eaten.

I have been to see a friend and cry on her shoulder about the 'friend' that I have upset.

I am about to do a bit more tidying then I can make milkshakes for dds which I have been promising for the last few weeks...

But my pain meds are causing me indegestion.

I can't take them without food and I haven't eaten today. Rock and hard place...

that's fab - more than you needed to do

well done ed
you done well. We are here when or if you want to talk about your friend.

my inspector just rang. ive pissed him off.
unfairly i think
he is annoyed with me because ive contacted an advocate - the only reason i did that was that no one was contacting me. ive heard nothing for weeks. inspector is on annual leave so i didnt feel able to call him.
sgt has ignored my texts.
rock and hard place indeed - know that feeling.
fed up now and feel i cant bloody win.
if i had got that other job my feet wouldnt have touched the ground....but i didnt and ive got to face going back. just getting mixed messages now.

you did the right thing vicar. inspector annoyed because he(?) has been shown up.

Calling in to say hi to all new posters .....lovely to meet you .

Bad bad day . Panic Attack out the blue last night that left me tearful and shaky. Cancelled a rare outing for lunch with dear faithful ex colleagues today. Agrophobia is waiting to pounce again. Cannot let that happen .
Couldnt trust myself not to cry . Feel even more self loathing for letting them down .
I am a mess . Time to man up ..but not tonight .

peaceful sleep for all tonight I hope x

Never forget the empowering effect of a good bra !

basset trust me, you have absolutely no cause for self-loathing. I understand that feeling from first hand (not the agrophobia, but the self-loathing at (perceived) failure), it is circumstances and your mental state that is driving those thoughts, cut yourself some slack if you can.

sending warm wishes x

thank you SPC ......needed that . I love the way you write x

basset you are beyond reproach - even by your own standards.

sometimes feelings are just that - and we cant help them. But they will pass - you know this because you are very much in control of them most of the time.
i have every faith that you will be ok again. So you have had a bad day - thats fine. we all have them.
your friends love you anyway and they will understand.
you will feel this much more acutely than they do - they will have shrugged and thought "thats fine - we can do it another day" - and you can. you can do exactly that.
you will be ok lovely. its just a blip.
x

Thank you Vicar lovely kind words so kind . Nice tears now
I am off to bed now with my cup of tea and calmer with your messages .

Funny old thing this internet isnt it ? Bonding with writing . x

if we'd been literate and middle or upper class, for years we would have kept in touch with many people in writing. we (as a nation) forgot to because of the phone. the internet seems to be restoring the method. I like it.

Have a good day today, everyone. I live in the midlands but had to work in London yesterday and today. I never sleep well before I go there, but I am pretty calm. Off the get the train, now.

Morning all.

Back in bed. NEED to go to city later. Must book dd3s birthday party. Its her birthday a week today.

MUST do some washing. Dds have no school uniform.

NEED a shower.

Im in pain. Im nauseous. Im sleepy. I'm in bed. Dtd1 has gone to school, but very iffy. She has stomach ache. She was fine yesterday at home. She has exams this week so think its anxiety. I need to stay home till break time to make sure shes ok.

Sorry for self centred post. I'm in a bit of a spin. Can't get thoughts in order...going to sleep but have to leave phone on.

Oh and I'm in the mudlands (e) too.

Morning all.

Back in bed. NEED to go to city later. Must book dd3s birthday party. Its her birthday a week today.

MUST do some washing. Dds have no school uniform.

NEED a shower.

Im in pain. Im nauseous. Im sleepy. I'm in bed. Dtd1 has gone to school, but very iffy. She has stomach ache. She was fine yesterday at home. She has exams this week so think its anxiety. I need to stay home till break time to make sure shes ok.

Sorry for self centred post. I'm in a bit of a spin. Can't get thoughts in order...going to sleep but have to leave phone on.

Oh and I'm in the mudlands (e) too.