Andes up - who needs a rock to lean on? Rock on over here!

[ThatVikRinA22]

in honour of ed and her mountain ranges.....

welcome to thread 3 - this is a support thread for anyone needing a hand to hold while they get through depression or any other mental health problems - long term or temporary. All are welcome.

linky to old thread

Its ok, you don't have to give details or even keep up, im pretty new to this thread to but they are a great bunch of ladies. It seems (to me) to be a place where we can share day to day worries and ups and downs as well as seek support for the larger issues.

Currently waiting for otc sleeping to kick in. Seems that anxiety has reared it's ugly head. Hey ho.

I will write more tomorrow when i have to get out of bed for the first time in two days! X

Tombliboo, that sounds like a good idea. I hope you get some good sleep tonight.

Morning and welcome tombliboo

This is exactly the place for someone that finds it difficult to get out of bed due to MH.

I'm awake. I'm very very stiff and sore. And tired. Neck especially.

Dds go to their dads about 2pm...can't wait. It's been a long haul. Need to find some clothes to pack. Which means I should put huge pile of washing away. Which means I can treat myself to an afternoon nap :)

Hi, afraid it's another quick message from me again as got to get ready for work. I will be absent again for a few days again as going to stay with my dad again for next 4-5 days to help him cope.
I wish you all a good weekend and will catch up with you all properly when i get back middle of next week. Take care x

Hi all - hopefully everyone is having a good day.

I was but i have just had my fucking mother screaming at me down the phone because the chemist wouldnt give her extra tablets, there is no trying to explain to her that they are NOT ALLOWED TO DO THIS - now she is trelling me that I am making her ill because I have tried to get her medication sorted out for her (not ADs). Now i feel like shit, will have to take diazepam - why why why does she press my buttons so much. She is perfectly capable of sorting things out herself (i know this because there was something she did last week tht made me think, well fuck me, you can sort things when you want to). So now i have to go and try and appease the chemists because she will have been bloody rude to them - im so sick of this.

Hugs to lucy

DDs left at 13.29. I am now in bed :)

Wow! lots of lovely new people

Just home free badminton and lunch with friend and her ds's. V. tired and full but feeling content. Hope everyone gets to feel a moment of peace today.

afternoon everyone.

lucy - do you have to sort out your mums stuff, if you know she can do it herself? it all sounds very manipulative.

welcome to the thread tombiloo hope you find it useful. I went through the not getting out of bed stage.

egg hit the co-codamol again. and rest. and diclofenac gel. I think rest is the most important on any strains or sprains though....have you tried an ice pack instead of a heat pack?

a big hi to everyone else and a wave.

level 1 day here. still in pjs. postman woke me up at 9.30, but to my shame i went back to bed....i heard DD pottering about but must have nodded back off and before i knew it it was 12.30. im buggering up my sleep patterns again.

ive found some of the stuff i need for my interview, need P60 and passport etc.
i need to do a dummy run over the weekend so i know where im going.
getting nervous about it now though as i feel like a lot is riding on it. I checked the other application i did and found ive got nowhere with it.

ive no idea what the interview will entail. i wonder if i should ask on the employment board...

i really feel back down in the doldrums again.

Im going to text the stables and tell yard owner i will be there after my interview....i cant concentrate on anything until after that.

if i dont get this job im going to cry. i cant face going back.

vicar beware of over-preparing, but look up your potential employer for the basic facts and think of one or two questons to ask. I expect you've done that already though...

Mostly bed today for me. Must make a list and make a slow start.

Hello all! I have been tucked away into a little corner thinking. A number of post-mangler items have come to light and I cannot write about them at the moment but they have confirmed what my intuition was saying to me. I am returning to a more introspective approach, consistent with who I am and it is helping become more like 'me' IYSWIM. I also can't talk much as I am trying to keep things quiet.

I haven't been on the thread because I have been a bit worn down between this and being unwell - DD's cold or what it was is a treat and I spent most of Easter Sunday completely incapable of doing much. We did have an Eastmas as it was a lovely turkey which I found at the same cost as a chicken! But I have been reading and a warm welcome to newcomers and a hug to all.

Vicar put the police things to one side until after Monday and think about this interview. Concentrate on what makes you uniquely qualified for that job and let yourself shine through. We believe in you :) You have much to offer, and we have seen that just based upon this thread. Your achievements, your qualifications, your positive reviews - these are your proofs of competence and I want you to bring these to mind. Your current job hasn't been working out too well for many reasons but that does not mean that you are not a good employee. Take time to review your CV, the employer and also take time to relax a bit. You can only do what you can do and we know that you put in your whole self to achieving things and doing them well. I think planning a visit to the stable after the interview is a fantastic idea.

Egg ah! I am jealous of you and SPC although quite joyous that I did not get up until a whole hour later than usual :) How long has that neck been playing up now and has this happened before?

Milly take care of yourself. Dad must be grateful to have you around. It is a lot to deal with and I hope Mum is feeling more settled in and comfortable.

Hugs to Lucy and a wave to OYBBK and TomB, HB, UA, NN, Snowy and all readers

Evening all...I have just woken up..oops...sleep pattern going to pot again...

Still level 1.

Need to get to level 3 + bonuses as I'm going out to tea in an hour..

Neck has been sore for about 10 days I think. It was getting better then it got achey again...after I did a lot of blind spot dependent driving. I rested a lot for 2-3 days which I think stiffened the whole back of my shoulders but the localised pain was much better.

I was out all day yesterday. Hunched up in the freezing cold. 90min+ driving. Dosed up on painkilkers (I'm a firm believer that pain is the bodies mechanism of preventing further damage). Carrying a rucksack. So I only have myself to blame...

...right I need some clothes...

Ok, im officially a twat - have been popping diazepam like smarties today and I feel a bit spaced out. I think i haven't taken more than about 10mg but oopsie - DP is not impressed. Although he is buying me pizza because im too stoned to cook and he can't be arsed

My mother does this to me all the time - i feel pants

vicar if you don't get this job, you will get a different one. having said that, it seems that you are ideal for it.

is it ideal for you? in other words, do you want that job or just to get away from your current job?

tomb did you get out of bed? even if you just get up for a little while a day - particularly if you can get some daylight - it will make a huge difference. many times, I have sat in the garden in the cold because the sun was out wrapped up in several layers and swathed in blankets. it really helps.

lucy your mum sounds like a huge drain on you. I have to echo someone else in asking: why is she your responsibility? and I really don't understand why you think you should apologise to the pharmacy staff for her. she seems to have you dancing to her tune.

sorry for repeated posts - I'm on my mobile so can't check back to remind myself what I wanted to say.

egg you are daft. it's important you move around to stop your back stiffening but I'l not surprised it's worse after driving for that length of time and carrying a rucksack! take enough pills to take the edge off - you'll be better able to move about and prevent stiffening.

mamakoula the thread is here for your convenience - not you for its convenience. it's wonderful when you can post but understandable when you can't.

best possible future is we all stop coming because we have sorted our heads out and have started to accept and love ourselves as we are. when that happens, we will no longer need external loci of support, approval and love. God speed us all to that!

Well I spent my third day in bed today. I haven't spent longer than 10 minutes with my little one in the last three days. She is the only part of my life that makes me smile but I have no motivation to do anything at all. Even reading doesn't appeal to me.
This is just another dip in a life made up of an abusive childhood, depression and general failure.
I have the wonderfully helpful diagnoses of borderline personality disorder along with primary depersonalisation disorder.
It doesn't seem to matter how hard I try, I can't maintain any quality of life or reasonable mood level. I do fine for a few weeks then the slightest thing knocks me back. The only consistent thing about me is my inconsistency and inability to function.

I won't go on. This will do for now. Suffice it to say I feel that there is no hope for me and I will never be happy.

tombliboo

Most of us on this thread have been there. Honestly. 4months ago my daily routine was to get up. Take dcs to school. Come home and get back in bed. I would have a morning nap and an afternoon nap. I would get up at 3.45 before dtds arrived home at 4pm. I know that vicar had a similar routine. If you want to read about it the first thread was called 'should I go back to the gp' and the second was something like 'we were all in this bed and this is the second thread'.

I think it is fair to say that all of us that have been on these threads have moved forward in our own ways. Some faster than others. We have had days or weeks or going backwards before making progress again. I'm sure you will too.

My neck...when we booked drayton tickets I thought it was going to be a nice day. Knew it would be cool but I wasn't expecting snow. I also had a deal that dtds would carry the rucksack. Tbf they did at the beginning and end but were off doing their own thing in the middle. I am glad I went despite the pain as it was the best day out we have had for ages. Can't remember tge last time we had a day out and everyone came home happy so it was worth it.

Right I am back in bed after a lovely evening out. Got a few plans for tomorrow too so will be a level 3 day...

Night all

tombliboo - I slept for a week once and, after that, dm had to get me up every day - I was like a sleepwalker.

who's looking after your ds while you're in bed? could they help you too?

I wouldn't have been able to read while at the stage you're at. not enough concentration. do you listen to radio 4 at all?

egg sounds like a good family day - what an improvement - you've done brilliantly.

Hello,

I posted on here last week to introduce myself and wanted to say thank you all for welcoming me on here. I feel bad that I haven't posted again until now, I hope you don't mind me dipping into the thread again.

Yesterday was a terrible day, I was plagued by suicidal thoughts but I feel a bit better this morning. Hate the way this illness has so many peaks and troughs - one day I can be feeling ok and the next everything is black.

I've got a horse riding lesson this morning and am excited and bloody scared! I used to ride a lot but since I had my breakdown my confidence in everything has been shot to pieces. I'm hoping that being outside doing something I enjoy will give me a bit of a boost. Just trying to find the motivation to get out of bed at the moment, which seems to be an ongoing challenge in my life!

Vicar I like reading about your trips to the stables, have you found that riding and being around horses helps your mood?

Sorry for waffling on! I hope everyone is ok x

Does the change from not crying to crying indicate that DH did end up shouting or at least saying something, UA? I expect he was just venting but that doesn't stop it hitting home, especially when you half think he's right. (he isn't, btw)

I just wanted to thank everyone on this thread - i find it comforting, it makes me realise that is OK to have a bad day and that a good day may follow. Does that make sense?? Vicar, you are my inspiration at the moment and i too love hearing about your trips to the stables.

Cappuccino - i am about the riding lesson, i haven't ridden for seven years but my dd rides now so i get my horse fix that way.