Just started on Citalopram

[Nanabana]

Have read old threads about side affects and quite worrying, but will give it a go. Hope it kicks in soon

Thanks Bunny GP was great. I made a plan with her for the next 12 hours and am going back to see her this afternoon. Still not good, woke at 2.20 with anxiety attack so not much sleep. Counsellor in an hour so hoping that will help.
Hope everyone else is hanging in there x

thats good the 12 hour plan i always find if i try to plan ahead too much the anxiety goes nuts I hope counselling helps today. I have luckily never had a panic attack in my sleep but I can't imagine it's pleasant.
Does anyone get dizzy on the citalopram if they havent had enough sleep?

12 hour plan sounds good. Might start trying that. The thought of whole days intimidates the hell out of me.

Another bad day. Only two hours sleep (was up late writing essays) and have spent whole day in bed, missed two lectures. Am very very sick of this. I so wish I could just be a functioning person. Doctors on Thurs, might see if I can get something tomorrow instead.

Hi Colouring, Bunny, Mechanical, Samu and everyone else (always worry about not name checking everyone but thinking of you all :))

People sound like they're struggling, hope things improve for people soon x

Mechanical, do you think you could get some sort of docs note to give you some breathing space with college stuff? Poor you, stress adds to stress doesn't it?

Bunny re the sleeping, when are you taking your pills? I take mine quite late in the evening (about 9pm) and apart from the first few weeks I've been getting to sleep really quick. Might be worth changing when you take them and see if that helps?

Also on subject of sleep, is anyone else sweating like a bleeding pig? It's got worse if anything for me. It was enough to make me come off proxac some years ago. I really really hate it.

Colouring I really hope counselling has helped things today. The 12 hour thing is a really good idea. When I cut right down on drinking, one of the mantras is 1 day at a time, or even 1 hour at a time, or even a minute. It really helped to keep things in manageable sized chunks of time. Sending you a big hug {{hug}}

Samu, how did the hypnotherapy go?

Feeling neither good nor bad here if I keep it in the day. I've got some trips away coming up over the next few weeks and really not looking forward to it and start getting really anxious when I think about it. It's a shame as they are people I like very much. Just dreading the thought of pulling myself together to organise myself, pack a bag, get on a train, make polite chit chat for a whole weekend and not be in my own bed.

I booked them in a while I was feeling good after the first few weeks, and am now regretting it.

Sorry again for the long post
Hope everyone is feeling okay and maybe even a bit better, sending love xx

had a crying day. in work
oops. got pjs on already. another bloody downer

MrsShrek....crying days at work are so embarrassing. some days I don't know what comes over me. The office manager came in to give me new files and saw me crying. :(

My few friends have told me they're sick of me and don't want to talk anymore. my mother just screams at me and swears and insults me and says its the only thing to bring me out of it and I need it .......!!!!!

What am I supposed to do? Take pills and hope it makes this mess go away.

Bad week. Stuck in bed. Can't leave. The more I can't leave, the more anxious I feel. The more work that piles up, the worse I feel. The more lectures I miss, the worse I feel.

I can't stand this any more.

:( Mechanical

Is there anything you can do to alleviate the stress? I would go back to the doc and talk it through. You want to get better but you're not feeling better so I would just keep going back and going back until something helps.

You could at least get signed off for the time being until you're feeling stronger?

So sorry you are battling so much right now (()) xx

Mechanical if you go back to previous posts you were doing ok for a bit do you think perhaps you need to go back to the docs and get a stronger dose I forgot what it is you were on but it seemed to be working if only for a short time

If it weren't for my dog and his natural need to do his business I wouldn't have got out of bed either this week.

Family on way home from their trip and I'm already dreading it. Just want to hide or run away.

Shrek hope today is a better one for you. Sorry yesterday was so crap x

A1980 yes, start taking the pills!

All of you seem to be struggling and unable to get out of be still and you are on the pills. do they work then?!

I think ill take the whole box of sleeping pills instead.

Hi everyone esp Citalo, Mechanical, Bunny, Mrs Shrek, Samu, A1980 so sorry to hear lots of us are having a bad time the last few days.
{{hugs}}
citalo - do you have a plan to help you cope with your family's return? It is OK to take refuge somewhere comforting at some point, and for as long as you need. It is OK to be selfish sometimes and prioritise yourself - I its not easy as a parent tho x and yyy to the sweating thing (nice!)
Mechanical - I think other posts are right in suggesting you return to your Doc and explain how tough you're finding things and being as clear as you're able about your symptoms and what's hardest to cope with at the moment.
Mrs Shrek {hug} for yesterday, hope you're being kind to yourself today.

I am feeling a bit better today compared to the last five GP yesterday prescribed me Trazodone which is an anti-depressant/anti anxiety and is quite sedating. So had a good nights sleep, sister helped me get kids ready for school, went back to bed and woke up at 12.20!!! counselling appt at 12.30 - made it and interesting chat. Still feel a bit light-headed, but much calmer than last 5 days, which feel like a brain storm in retrospect. DP home tonight. I am angry and hurt that he put himself ("I need a couple of days to clear my head") and his career over me when I was at my lowest. So it will be an interesting home-coming...
Sending lots of good wishes to everyone and thanks so much for your support - it means a huge amount. Take care x

A1980 just to be very sure you didn't misunderstand me: start taking the pills referred to your ADs, 1 a day etc.

It's very upsetting on a thread with people suffering various mental health issues to read about your thoughts when you don't seem to hear any of our advice. And there has been lots of advice to try and help you.

Please do either call for some real life help. Or maybe start your own thread on this board?

ColouringIn ((()))
So glad to hear things are calmer for you now.

I'm off now for a while as feeling rather spun out but just wanted to say hi, and well done :)

A1980, we are all trying to get better. It is not fair to threaten suicide because there is nothing any of us can do to help. We are trying to help and you are not listening. I know it is hard, but it is not fair on the rest of us.

I am seeing my doctor tomorrow. Generally, I was feeling better, able to get out of bed etc. But my sleep is all messed up, deadlines are looming and I have no idea about what is going on with my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend/whatever he is. Last night I went to bed at 9 and set my alarm for 7. I finally managed to get up at 11. I need to get back into a regular pattern, but when my alarm goes off, I am too dozy to get up. Very confused and out of it.

I feel GUILTY for not getting up. I don't know why. I have no obligations to anyone but myself.

Hi, haven't posted for a few days. Still not sleeping well, but ok apart from that.

Mechanical, be kind to yourself. You're under a lot of stress right now and trying to deal with a lot at the same time. Would you consider getting signed off, so you can have this time to catch up on rest?

Colouring, glad to hear you are feeling better :). Hope this new medication does the trick.

Citalo, I bet you're more glad than ever for your dog. We all need a purpose to keep going and pets and children are excellent for that.

MrsShrek, hope you had a better day at work today.

Hope everyone else is getting by.

Hi Creme, gld you're not doing so bad. Sleep is so hard.

I can't get signed off. I need to get these essays done, then I'm on holiday for two and a half weeks. Just need to hold on until then and do some bloody work! One of the requirements of teaching is that you are "fit to teach" - if you get signed off with stress, it doesn't look good. So just need to stick it out.

Oh are you in the middle of your PGCE, mechanical? One of the toughest years of your life :(.

When I did mine, I managed to defer my final teaching practice and was signed off for stress and anxiety (my now STBXH was mugged and it traumatised me, particularly because his phone dialled mine during it, so I heard a voicemail of the attack after the event) for a few months, without any problems.

All I'm saying is don't force yourself beyond breaking point to keep going. (((Hugs))).

I am Creme, yeah. I have thought about deferring...the thing is that things won't be any different in a few months. I've had these problems my whole life and I guess they're not going away anywhere soon. It's good to know that they don't kick you off the course as soon as they hear you have some problems though. Did they ask to see your medical records at any point?

Sorry that you had such a traumatic time of it, that sounds horrible.

They were very sympathetic. I emailed the course leader to tell her exactly what had happened and to ask for time off (I was already two or three weeks into my placement). Then my tutor rang me for a chat and asked me to get signed off by the GP and told me to leave a voicemail for the school that weekend to let them know I wouldn't be returning. This avoided any awkardness! I was then signed off for the duration of the placement and as it was a deferral, there was no issue about failing. The only thing was I had to wait a few months for my final placement, as they had to squeeze me in with the next cohort of students. But that was fair enough.

Then when I passed that placement, my tutor told me I wouldn't have to declare the first attempt and the fact I'd taken time off on any application forms :). What counted was I passed three placements and received QTS.

Another lady on my course deferred around the same time as her husband cheated on her, and yet another deferred because she contracted pneumonia, so the ITTs are well used to people deferring for all sorts of reasons.

Hi everyone, I am way behind again.

My hypnotherapy consultation went well and my first proper session is next Tuesday. However, because of my childhood she wants to do some uncovering hypnotherapy with me as well as CBT. It isn't going to be a quick fix and I will need more sessions than most people. At £45 a session I hope it helps LOL

I have had a reasonably decent two days. Still anxious but just about coping! Still worrying about my tongue but have a dental appointment on Tuesday so I will discuss it with him then. I stupidly made an appointment for those two "lumps" which are probably lymph nodes for Monday. I hope once I put these two fears behind me I can start to move on a bit. I wasn't going to go to the GP for it unless they changed but I can't deal with not knowing for sure.

I have read everyones updates so want to send love and hugs to you all. I hope everyone manages to have a relaxing evening and a good day tomorrow.

Thank you everyone who has listened and offered me support. If anyone ever needs a text buddy, or someone to talk to on the phone feel free to PM me.

Hi everyone, cremeegg, citalo, mechanical, samu...
Hope you're having an OK day today.
cremeegg - interesting to hear about your PGCE experience and nice advice for Mechanical. How are you doing today?
citalo - hope you're doing OK today and I thought your post to A1980 was spot on.
mechanical - any more sleep last night? Really hoping you can find a way through these next two weeks, tho from cremeegg's experience it does sound like you have some other options just in case
samu - interesting to hear about your hypnotherapy/cbt - really hope it helps you. It's hard work coping with the anxiety isn't it, hope you're managing to get some rest.

I was back at Doc this morn - who is fantastic. Very supportive. Back on Monday. Still very groggy this morn but did manage to start painting at 11am and it was such a relief to find I can still paint with worse health and more mind-bending drugs! Did nearly loose it after Docs though - was supposed to meet DH, so rang him but no answer on his mobile for 15 mins by which time I was panicking about what had happened to him Anyhow DH home so he is doing DCs bath and bed tonight
Take care everyone x

Ahhh.. I found two lump things under my tongue. DH says they are a part of my tongue, but pretty sure it's cancer.

Have to wait to Tuesday before I can get them checked out.

I am glad your GP is helpful, that can make so much difference.

Samu, are the lump things either side of that kind of bony ridge that divides your jaw? (Very hard to describe the mouth!) And they are kind of fleshy rather than bony? Cos I have those too.

Colouring, glad it went well at the docs and that you did some painting.

Well, I managed to get out of bed today and then realised my phone is totally broken. I couldn't phone the docs and I have run out of medicine. All very stressful, need to run up there tomorrow and hope I can get an appointment.

Anyway, I sat through all my classes, managed to eat something even though it was junk, managed to talk to people, so it's not all bad.

Mechanical.. Im not too sure what the bony ridge is :)

They are both sides.. right under my tongue near the back teeth. They are quite fleshy lumps if that helps.

I don't know how my dentist missed it when he checked my tongue over two weeks ago.

Perhaps they are meant to be there!!

I broke down last night and cried and cried and cried. I am NOT going to look in the mirror this weekend or feel. I will go out of my mind with the compulsion to look but I want to try to not look. I have a dentist and GP appointment on Mon/Tues so I want to not look and just get them to look for me. Still worrying about my jaw lump things too.

Looking for hours isn't helping so I need to stop and tell myself that it is only a few days until I am seen. I am shaking because I have a massive compulsion to look right now.

I am glad you had a better day :) That sounds positive.