Just started on Citalopram

[Nanabana]

Have read old threads about side affects and quite worrying, but will give it a go. Hope it kicks in soon

Hi all, just wanted to come by and say hope everyone has a good weekend.

Samu try not to worry this weekend. Your lumps and bumps all sound normal honestly :) (I even had ex-DP checking his around his jaw and he has 2 of a fairly large size too (that sounds rude lol!))

I know it's hard not to worry, but try and hang in there and you'll get the reassurance you need next week x

Hope everyone else is doing okay. I'm manic at the moment, can't think of another way to describe it. Still stupidly fearful of interaction, particularly family, but I can't seem to keep still, concentrate or do anything (apart from eat, which I'm trying to keep control of). I would have thought any effects from the small increase in dose would have subsided by now?!

Anyway, take everyone and be kind to yourselves this weekend. We are all doing great because we are all trying, keep on keeping on xx

Hi everyone,
mechanical hope you managed to get phone and meds sorted and you made it through today without major stress. Any chance of any r&r this weekend?
samu really hope you manage to stay away from the mirror this weekend and get some reassurance next week. I do feel for you, take care.
citalo sorry to hear you're feeling so manic. I totally get what you mean about fear of interaction (have a thing at church tomorrow which I have to go to but am dreading) agitation and concentration - its rubbish. Hope you manage to get through the weekend.

I have had a busy day with DD hosp appt, lunch out with DH and DD, school run and brief meeting with deputy head at DD school. Managed to negotiate her being allowed to play on edge of playground which she's happy about. It also felt right to tell dep head that I was suffering quite badly with depression and anxiety and she was sympathetic which was nice. Feeling rather frazzled now and brain feels knackered/about to explode if that makes sense!

Take care everyone, hang in there x

So I'm on week three now day 22 to be precise and I have to be honest I haven't left the house since that Monday on here over two weeks ago I am starting to feel anxious again along with not sleeping and not eating feeling sick most of the time and constant jaw ache from the pills. So my question for those who have been on this longer than me have these worked at all for anyone am feeling a bit dispondant now as I kind of had three weeks as my goal point of feeling better and it's not happening

Hi all

Bunny 3 weeks could still be too early. Some people say it can take as long as 6 weeks to feel a positive difference (but 6 weeks when you're depressed/anxious feels like a lifetime I know).

Can you talk to your doc today? I would say exactly what you've said here, and they may change your dose or even consider another option. Have a chat with them. It's bloody hard isn't it, sending you hugs x

I'm not really a great ad for the benefits at the moment as I've not improved since increasing my dose (I'm now on 30 mg). My GP just called me and I told her so I'm going in again to see her on Wednesday afternoon.

I feel like such a drip when she asks me how I am and I'm all woe is me. I want to feel better and it's making me feel even more crappy because I'm not. Would happily have stayed in bed today if it weren't for the dog and the fact I sweat like a really sweaty thing in bed at the moment :(

Colouring I think you did exactly the right thing talking to someone at school, I'm glad she was helpful :) Hope yesterday's church event went well x

Hope everyone else is doing okay

Hi citalo lovely to hear from you. Sorry that your increased dose doesn't seem to have made any difference but good that you're going to speak to the doc about it soon.
Hi bunny it feels endless sometimes doesn't it? {hug} Def worth a chat with your Doc I'd say.

Hope everyone else had an OK weekend.

self pity alert
I know exactly what you mean about feeling like a drip. I feel I have to limit my posts cos it is all so "woe is me" too. Church thing was stressful, but I stayed the course. My friends don't seem to know what to say to me, but I was touched that another guy (who's a bit of an awkward bugger) came over and chatted with me (I think he must know what's going on) it is interesting how different people react...

I was stupid last night and googled recovery from major depression and completely freaked myself out (see my panicky thread) so that and just the weekend (which I find v demanding) means I'm pretty worn out today. I can't believe lots of other posters on MH threads are at work - I don't see to be able to manage more than 20 mins of conversation without my head feeling like it will explode. Could def have stayed in bed too but had to take DP to station 9prob just as well). Back to docs at 11. Need to share with her the fact that new drugs are making me constipated - deep joy

sorry will try and manage a more upbeat post next!
thanks everyone for your support, take care x

Hang on in there, Citalo and ColouringinQueen. Hope it goes well at doctor's today.

Bunny, I'm on it two weeks today, and I am feeling better, apart from the poor quality sleep. I'm even calm today, despite the fact my maintenance should have gone through today and it hasn't! I've got less than a fiver in my account. Instead of panicking, I texted STBXH to sort it out (even put a please in! :) ) and am distracting myself by cleaning the fridge and the food cupboard.

I was feeling a bit meh on that day plus my maths is crap I'm on day 17 I'm calm today and I have a plan to go out on Wednesday. I'm making a doc appointment for next week I really want to give these pills a chance first and stop trying to rush things

Hey all, just checking in briefly. Trying to spend less time on the internet. I am ok though, very tired atm.

Hi Mechanical, Bunny, CremeEgg, Citalo, Nana, Samu and anyone else
Having a better day today DH is doing the school run this week and it is really helping to have a gentler less stressful start to the day. I went to counselling, a shop then home for lunch and nap, then pick up DS and his friend from school who are both playing nicely upstairs.

Mechanical great to hear from you and completely understand why you're spending less time on t'internet, not long til the end of term?
Bunny it is tempting to try and rush this recovery isn't it? Glad to hear yesterday was calm and you're heading out the house tomorrow (I'm thinking of going to the library). Good for you for giving the pills a chace. Take care.
CremeEgg that's great to hear you managed to stay calm depite money stress - brilliant Gold star for doing some cleaning! Hope today's going OK.
All the best to everyone x

Hi everyone!

Hope you don't mind if I join in this thread. I took my first dose (20mg) of citalopram last night and felt like I'd downed the entire contents of a brewery...my DP will probably be pleased as I'm obviously going to be an extremely cheap date from now on! :o

Bit of background...I'm 25, no kids, graduated last year, always had a tendency towards pessimism. Within the space of a few weeks last August my beautiful cat died, I lost my job due to the boss bang unable to pay, he owes me over a grand and is in court soon, and my grandma died at 10.30pm the evening before my wedding, meaning we had to cancel. We lost a lot of money obviously and I was very very close to my grandma, so I was knocked for six. I've finally found a new job (I started yesterday!) and eventually, last week, broke down and admitted I needed to see a doctor. I tried until then to convince myself how I felt was normal, but it clearly wasn't. I also suffer from an eating disorder, so am very scared I'm going to put on weight with the tablets...but will cross that bridge when I come to it.

Thanks for reading, thought it might be useful to give an overview of my situation before posting more than once on this thread. Hope you're all keeping as well as possible!

Hi DaddyPig just wanted to say welcome. Sorry to hear you've had such a hard time recently - that's a lot of hard situations to deal with on top of a tendency to pessimism. But well done for seeking help and getting started on the citalopram - that's a great step.

Know what you mean about being a cheap date I'm on fluoxetine and it seems to make the alcohol about 3x stronger!

This is a lovely supportive thread, hope you find it helpful. Take care and be kind to yourself x

I am going to just copy and paste this:

I just got back from the dentist and now I am really scared.

My anxiety has been focused around oral cancer for a while now. A month ago I went to my dentist twice in one week about two bumps on my tongue and he said it was fine.

Today was my routine clean and before we started I asked him to check out my tongue again aranoid I found two soft fleshy looking lumps underneath the tongue at the back of my tongue that dh said must be normal as they are identical both sides and this is what I was hoping to get reassurance for today. He had a brief look and said he will refer me but I don't think he looked at the ones under my tongue.

I was no longer worrying about the bumps on the side as I have had them for years. It was the fleshy looking ones underneath.

I heard him talking to the dental nurse and he said that on the referral he wanted her to put "patient been three times in fear of oral cancer so asking for referal"

I asked him again if he thought it was cancer then and he just said I prefer to refer you but the first time I went he spent ages reassuring me aranoid

So now I am totally scared he thinks I have tongue cancer :(

Welcome Daddypig.

Sorry you are having a rough time and I really hope you are on the way up soon :)

Sorry about the "aranoid" it was a smiley code I used elsewhere and forgot to end it out.

Hi Samu sending hugs to ward off fear. I was wondering if he has decided to refer you because he hopes that you will be better reassured by a specialist, as his previous reassurances didn't work? Do you have any good distraction techniques to use when the anxiety hits? Really hope you find some peace this evening. Take care x

I think so colouring as last time I went he said they were fine and they haven't changed.

I am actually doing ok. I have not checked once today! I am fighting it this time, no more giving in so easily. It's time for me to fight it, no matter how hard it may be.

Hi everyone :)

Hope everyone is doing well and welcome Daddypig, try not to think too far ahead at this stage and just take it a day at a time. Well done for asking for help, that can often feel like the hardest bit. You'll soon find things start to improve.

Samu I agree with Colouring that he may just want you to be reassured by someone higher up the scale, if you've asked him more than once about bits and pieces? Hope the CBT appointment isn't too far away for you so you can get some support with coping with the worries, I feel so bad for you worrying so much about your health :(

Hi to Colouring, Mechanical, CremeEgg and Bunny and everyone else reading. Hope you're all doing well :)

What a difference a day has made for me. Felt really truly awful on Monday, when the doc phoned me. My friend came yesterday with her new baby and stayed the night. I was so nervous and worried but we had such a nice time :) Went out for lunch and chatted lots (just like a normal person lol!).

It was a real tonic to see her. Had my docs appointment today and told her how well it had gone, and that I have bad days but I'm definitely having more good days than before. She said it all sounded very positive, but she did want to put me up to 40 mg as I'm obviously still anxious much of the time.

Also noticed something which shows something's changing for the better in me, which I told her about. All my dreams over the past week or so have been quite social. I've been vividly interacting and enjoying being with people. So my subconscious is definitely feeling less depressed

So up I go to 40 mg and I am feeling very positive. Also feeling okay about my weekend away coming up, although the thought of the hideous train journey is not fun.

Probably won't be on again before next week so take care of yourselves everyone and wishing you all lots of good days :) xx

Thank you. He did just put "patient scared of oral cancer been to see me three times" on the form. Apparently, if he was worried he would describe the lesions and go into more detail. Plus, they haven't changed from the last two times I asked him about them and we all know cancer changes, not stays the same for months.

I haven't checked for 24 hours and I feel better for it.

I am glad you had a nice time with your friend, good company can really help huh? That is a really positive update xx

How is everyone else today?

Thanks very much for the welcomes and well wishes. Tonight I will take my fourth pill and even though I know it's too early for them to have made a difference, I have had an ace day. I'm still in training at my new job and have flown through everything today and after initially waking up in a foul mood I've actually had a really productive day. I'm not sure how to describe the feeling-it was almost like the good bits of being drunk-the confidence etc without the horrible bits (feeling disorientated, being overconfident and a wee bit obnoxious). It was brilliant but confusing!

I'm happy to read all the positive updates, finding it a bit difficult to keep up with everyone's stories but sure I will soon be more on the ball-hugs to those who aren't doing so well.

Ewwwww night sweats I just had my first on day 21 so just into three weeks do you think that this means it's finally working? tbh I'm just mortified that dp woke up and said do you think the cat has peed on us my tshirts all wet
the only other reason I can think for it starting now would be that yesterday I took it much earlier than usual

Hi everyone

citalo great to hear you had a better day, good times with good friends are so special. Interesting to hear about your dreams - like you say I think that sounds really positive. Good luck with upping the dose - hope you don't notice too many side-effects.

daddypig brilliant to hear you had an ace day - hope today's OK too. Don't worry about being on the ball - it's not easy!

Bunny sorry to hear about the night sweats no fun. I guess you could try changing the time and see if it makes a difference? Or it may just be that the cumumative level of yr AD has reached a certain level... but hopefully the sweats will calm as your body gets used to them.

Hope everyone else is doing OK this friday and keeping warm!

I am upping my fluoxetine to 40mg so hoping that isn't problematic. Last time I did it was when DH got redundancy news, DD had been ill for 3 days and DH went away with work and my anxiety got out of control, so hoping the fluox didn't play a part in that (GP told me to revert to 20 just in case) - one way to find out! I had a good time painting at college yesterday but shattered today... off to friends for coffee soon though which should be nice.

Take care x

Well I have just failed again was going to do the morning school run with dp as he was hurrying me along i said if we leave it for a bit then the place wont be as busy if you see what i mean then he said well then we will be late back for shopping delivery as we have to go to the shop after school run. I immediately backed out then said i wouldnt be going I am miffed at him as whenever I agree to try something he always raises the bar over where I feel comfortable like adding extra places or if I say try a walk he says why dont we go for coffee or starts with a plan of things we could do which makes me anxious. I dont want to plan as that gives me time to think of problems. He is now pissed at me because I held him up for a few mins and because I didnt go I'm guessing he is getting fed up with all this now well so am i will be seeing doc this week if i can't get there might see if i can do it over the phone.

Feeling much better now I have made it out the door twice today once 4 doors down and once to the end of the road with dp and back on my own have spoken to the doc rather than going in and he will give me my two diazapan for my journey and has upped my dose of citalopram well he is still giving me a 20mg dose but says i take two now instead of one so if i find the two a day too much then i can do two one day and one the next am going to be a space cadet but at least i will be a non anxious space cadet

Well done, Bunny .

Three weeks today and feeling so apathetic. I did loads earlier, but have been lying on the sofa since 4 p.m. instead of making dinner!

That's great bunny! and glad to hear the Doc is being helpful. Are you able to talk with your dp about pushing things a bit too far? In a I know you're trying to help, however I need to achieve this one thing at the mo, and then I can start building from there? Not often easy believe me I know.
Hi cremeegg sorry you're feeling so lethargic. It can be really hard to get going can't it. But if you did loads earlier I wouldn't beat yourself up too much. Maybe its worth looking at pacing yourself throughout the day?
Take care everyone x

Thanks Colouring. I have got a tendency to do as much as I can when I have got energy, but it does seem to make me 'slump' later. So I need to try to pace things more.

We had pizza and garlic bread for tea, instead of the planned curry. I am trying to make myself think at least we ate at a relatively decent time, instead of feeling guilty about not making the curry tonight.