Just started on Citalopram

[Nanabana]

Have read old threads about side affects and quite worrying, but will give it a go. Hope it kicks in soon

I don't have anything worth living for.

A1980, I felt like that 4 weeks ago. Now I feel fine. I still have a lot of problems to work through, but the utter feeling of dread and nothing mattering has gone.

Mechanical, you hit the nail on the head. The feeling of not mattering has gone. I still get the dread at times, but feeling more now that my life has a point, however small, is such a huge relief.

A1980 what have you got to lose by just giving the ADs a go? Come on , you can do it. If you are like me, any side effects aren't actually that bad as they gave my head a break from feeling like it normally did!

If you're still feeling awful, why not give the Samaritans a call? I called them a number of times when a very good friend died and they were fantastic.

Hope you're doing okay today Mechanical :) And everyone else x Will check back in tomorrow.

I can't.

I got up at 5pm today.

At work on.Friday I went to the shops to get my lunch and i realised it was too much of a decision to make. I went back to the office in tears as I couldn't decide.

I don't want to get better I want an end.

Please call the Samaritans, A1980, if you really feel you can't go on.

Being unable to make simple decisions is a very common symptom of depression.

Have you got anyone who can go with you to GP appointments?

A1980 call the Samaritans 08457 90 90 90 just pick up the phone.

Mechanical hope you're hanging in there.

Thanks citalo My DH thinks upping the dose might be part of it. It does make me question if this Anti-d business is right for me if it makes me feel like I did yesterday.

I've got through the day, had MIL and FIL round (!) I managed to sit on the sofa and not look like a complete loon. So exhausted now. DD is looking better today and I think I will send her to school 2moro - I really need some peace and quiet. Still wondering about ringing the doc - but my GP is now on maternity leave, I could speak to her jobshare who I've seen once this year but really not sure I can face calling.
My DH wants to go on his work trip, my sister is coming round 2moro eve and helping me get the kids ready for school Tue morning, so that's one bit covered. I'm not sure about the rest of it at the moment...
Phew x.

GP tomorrow.

I don't brush my.teeth or get dressed at weekends either.

My mum is just screaming and shouting at me.under the guise of trying to bring me.out of it.

She's driving me.mad.

I'm going deaf too...I had a inner ear infection and haven't bothered to take the meds for it. I just don't.care.

A1980 good to hear about the GP. Be honest with them. Write stuff down before to make sure you cover the important things. Good luck.

But all the ads in the world won't make my.life worth living. I've tried so hard for over a decade to fix the problems. now I give up.

TBH A1980, I have no idea what to say or what there is we can say. If you are feeling suicidal, you need to get off the internet and speak to someone who can help. Because as much as we'd like to, we just can't. There is nothing that we can do. You need to see your GP/talk to Samaritans/go to A&E/call your crisis team.

I completely agree with Mechanical.

Please let us know what the GP says, A1980.

I have my first consultation with a hypnotherapist tomorrow. I decided to try it for my anxiety. I am nervous but hopeful.

I hope everyone manages to have a decent Monday. My special needs son went to school crying his eyes out as he has had enough of school and trying to fit in :(

I know. I am beyond treatment which is the problem.

I don't see anything to fix. Everyday of my life is like groundhog day.

It is work and bed and hanging about alone at the weekend.

I don't have many friends, my family are not supportive, I split up with someone recently and his reasons were ridiculous. He didn't even try to make it work after we had our first fight.

I had a date over the weekend and it was awful...I was ib tears on the train home realising that the chemistry and connection I hadwith my ex is unlikely yo be repeated.

I am so lonely I feel like contacting the cause of my depression.

Good advice Mechanical.
A1980 don't quite understand your last sentence?
Samu {{{{hugs}}}} for you after the school run. My DD is often in tears going into school and I know how hard that is for you. Be kind to yourself today.

My DP managed to get my DD into school and I am feeling better for having the house to myself today - and hopefully tomorrow. Samaritans rang me back which was both touching and embarassing in equal measure. But it did make me realise I still have some way to go in that I feel very bad for putting family and friends through this... My DP is thinking of speaking to my kids headteacher (partly about DD struggling, and partly to explain context at home and why today both kids were late etc...) Not sure how I feel about that. Rationally it makes sense, but I am afraid they will look at me different (and not positively). Definately having side effects from increasing dose now as suffering with nausea and sore stomach today which I had when I started, but at least now I know it will pass (pass the rich tea).
Take care everyone x

There's no such thing as beyond treatment when it comes to depression.

A1980, there ARE positives in your situation. You still manage to go to work, don't you? And you went out on a date, so soon after suffering a bad break-up. MY STBXH left me last June, and I haven't even contemplated dating yet, so well done for getting out there, and giving it your best shot. So what if it din't work out? At least you had the courage to try!

You are just very, very down, but you CAN get through this, with the right support.

ColouringinQueen, hope you have a nice, restful day.It might well be worth having a word with the Head or even the classteacher. You don't have to go into loads of detail.

Take care of yourselves, everyone else. XXX

The cause of my depression is my ex.

well breaking up triggered it and then I realised how alone I was and then i started having job problems and went into a downward spiral.

I have pcos and my time is running out.

I am messing up my job as I can't concentrate. it's getting embarrassing.

GP gave sertraline and said if i won't take meds or.go to counselling nothing she can do.

Sorry to be harsh A1980 but I tend to agree with your GP. She has tried to help but you're not accepting it.

Why would you not give yourself a chance to start feeling better? I almost bit my GP's hand off to get the prescription. And I now feel much better for it.

Please call your GP or Samaritans and talk.

Hello too to Samu, Mechanical, ColouringIn and Cremeegg and everyone else :)

Hope you are all having as stress-free a day as possible.

ColouringIn I agree with Cremeegg in that you could say something to the school but you can be nice and vague if it makes you uncomfortable? They wouldn't look at you differently though I'm sure. Take care of yourself x

Samu hope your DS is okay today. And best of luck with the hypnotherapy tomorrow, that is a great plan! Have you thought about acupuncture too? Sure that can be used for anxiety. You sound very proactive and I'm sure it will pay off :)

Feeling very wobbly today. Light-headed and spaced out. Not an awful feeling, but just weird!

Take care everyone xx

Hi citalo, mechanical, cremeegg and everyone. Thanks for advice re: school, think it probably is sensible seeing as things aren't improving particularly fast.
Citalo hope you're surviving the light-headedness.
Having a weird day. Not too bad first thing. Met up with a friend for coffee - the only one who knows exactly how things are. Ended up telling her about Sat night. She had had a text from my DH yest asking if she was around today and wondered why as when she saw me Fri I was OK (got the sense she wasn't so pleased to get the text, but hopefully she understands why now, I think I need to ask my DP not to text her). Anyway she said she thought I should let the doc know about sat night. Came away from our coffee with a feeling that she was loosing patience with me and DH - she said she really thought i should be getting more support from my GP. I think that stressed me out, by the time I got home I was v anxious. Spoke to GP when I was in a bit of a state and she said to come down at 3.15. My poor old dad is coming over to get the kids from school. I have calmed down now I have a plan for this pm/eve. Did I over-react? I'm usually ok mon and tue on my own and was thrown that I wasn't today. The thought of looking after the kids on my own is overwhelming though. Calm now just knackered. Hope the GP doesn't think I'm wasting her time. It's so hard to know quite what to do for the best! Sorry for another long one, but it does help writing it down...
Wishing everyone a good Monday x

I don't think pills will make me better about being alone. There's no cure for that.

Bad day for me today. Hardly got any sleep, got up for lectures and then just couldn't face it, so ran away before I went in. Was just too anxious.

And now am anxious about missing lectures :/

Have spent the whole day in bed...and I have so much to do.

Mechanical :( I'm really sorry to hear that. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day for you.

My day has been ok until just now. Three weeks ago I went to the dentist about a big round skin tag looking thing right at the back of my tongue. He checked it throughly and said it was nothing to worry about because it was symmetrical, not bleeding or discoloured. It also moves too and is pretty gross. Well, for some stupid reason I looked at it again in the mirror and I started doubting the dentist. I have to book an appointment to get my infected gum cleaned in 10 days time so I will ask him to look again then.

I wanted to rush in today but he checked it over just a few weeks ago.. prodded it and scraped it to make sure it didn't bleed and said it really is nothing. I also have two small lump things at the side of my tongue but that is from my overbite and indentation marks. The tag thing at the back moves, just like a bit of skin.

DH keeps telling me that I have it checked and now I need to forget about it. No one else would have noticed it because no one else I know looks in their mouth with a torch

So panicking about that now.

A190- Pills won't cure that no, but they could take the edge off the darkness which would help you to start dealing with things better.

samu2 medical anxiety sucks and is so limiting isn't it? You know the tag is ok it hasnt changed since you first found it so it will be fine. I don't expect this to make much of a difference I'm talking as the woman who used to check for signs of a stroke every half hour or so I know what your going through.
Mechanical You got there at least celebrate the small victories.
citalobrain enjoy the spaced out feelings
ColouringInQueen What did the gp say? I hope you have a better day today
I'm not sleeping so my anxiety is getting worse at the moment I think the pills are working to the extent of their abilities i can feel the dread but it's like its behind a door so I can't feel it fully iyswim so am off too the docs on friday with a shopping list