I am putting this here so it goes away. Please hold my hand

[hathorinareddress]

But at the same time I was going to name change but I don't want to because I want to be able to find this again if I need to in the future and because (on the back of the PND thread even though this isn't PND) I have nothing to be ashamed of.

If any of you recognise me in my previous names please don't out me on this thread.

I am going to ring the doctor and get an emergency appointment and see if they can give me antidepressants or something to help I am crying I can't stop I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and my DP told me last night I am over thinking everything and tying myself in knots and could I please go and do something

So I came home in a strop with him and in tears but he's right.

My ex is a head wreck and very difficult to deal with.

I'm a single parent.

I work part time and go to uni full time.

I am having gynae issues and bleeding out every month for 2 or 3 days to the point where I last an hour before I'm soaked through.

I'm so tired just so so tired and I can't sleep

I have a bad shoulder and it hurts all the time it's the hand/arm I use the most and I have to do tons of typing and sitting at the computer for uni and driving and it hurts and I am swallowing ibuprofen every day and they aren't helping

So I am going to ring the doctor this morning and get an emergency appointment and tell them how bad I feel.

I'm scared. Stupid stupid stupid scared.

Me too

Although I slept ok last night - actually fantastic for me

Am going to bed folks. With no additional tablets. Am yawning my head off and feel all sleepy so am going to give the no tablets a shot.

Sleep well chuck. We'll still be here tomorrow. :)

Ok so some good and some bad

Went to bed, fell asleep after 11 sometime (talked to DP on the phone and was literally dozing off)

Woke at 7.15

Which is unheard of.

BUT I have the most horrible stinking rotten headache ever.

Please, please, please hathor - take the tablets! I know you don't 'do' tablets, but you need to get any/all of this pain under control. You don't need a headache on top of everything else.

How much have you had to drink this morning? How much did you have to drink yesterday? (Of anything - I don't mean alcohol! ). Have a cup of coffee (helps with blood vessels that might be constricted) and then a large glass of water - and keep topping up the water.

You can use the water to take your painkillers nudge.

Very glad that you got a good night's sleep - it makes all the difference.

I don't drink much alcohol at all actually yesterday I had been trying to remember all the time to drink water/squash so I'll keep on with that.

Just about to have a coffee and I'll take my painkillers. And I will take the diazepam tonight because my shoulder hurts like fuck.

Can't take it now because I have the kids and driving to do so am slightly concerned that I'd be dopey.

OK I took the sertraline about 20 mins ago.

I feel most peculiar.

I feel nauseous (which I expected that's OK I can deal with that) but I feel like my face is buzzing and I feel weirdly disconnected or something.

Most most odd sensation.

Have you eaten?

Do something to take your mind off it!

Just sorted out some stuff for a wee day out me and the kids are doing.

But oh it feels weird. Not scary or anything. I'm not anxious or uptight about it or anything like that but it feels weird.

you lot are fab you know

hey hath,

i took mine yesterday and still feel that way! shall we create a support group for those taking this foul stuff? :)

I posted on your thread too

I think that would be an excellent plan

Even posting here on Thursday was so scary for me and going to the doctor was so scary you know? Maybe if there had been a long running thread of some description I could have joined I wouldn't have waited so long?

What does everyone else think?

LWM, that's a good idea. Hathor, keep up the good work. We're here for a virtual hand hold if you need it. If you do start a thread please post a link here so we can offer support. :)

Right I'm going to start a thread.

I've never started a support thread before

the thread is here

Good idea, hather!

But I see you have said that you're grinding your teeth, and that you must relax, but you haven't taken the diazepam yet. Well, you know what you must do, don't you... ?!

Seriously. You need to let yourself relax, and let some of that stress and pain go.

nowt wrong with hippies

BIWI I know but I have to drive to collect DD1 from her friend's later this afternoon so I promise I will think about it a bit more take a half a diazepam this evening

I don't "do" tablets. I just get on with stuff. This is not me and it makes me feel uncomfortable.

And there is no way on gods green earth I will lose weight on these things I just ate a bag of crisps and a mars bar (but it was only a snack size)

Now, now, hather. We've talked about the 'not doing tablets' thing. You know that you have to put that to one side for the moment, don't you?!

Sorry, LittleWhiteMice! Nothing at all wrong with hippies, I agree.

I know I know I know I know

But I'm going to be stroppy about it like a toddler.

Humph.

DP accused me last night of acting like a teen in a strop over it.

Humph.

If it's any consolation I also didn't "do" tablets, but now take 20 pills a day for pain and epilepsy. It's not an ideal situation, but I am vertical and able to look after my 3 dc's so it's just the way it has to be for now.

It won't be forever and if they get you too a better place then they are worth "doing".

I know they are but it just doesn't ... I dunno ...

Put it this way. I'll take them. But I am going to complain about it. A lot. And often.

He says he's buying earplugs and going to ignore me.

Now hathor. You wouldn't want us to ignore you, would you?

You carry on and whinge our kid. Just keep taking the tablets. Try to do what Maryz said up there somewhere , and take them at the same time every day.