I am putting this here so it goes away. Please hold my hand

[hathorinareddress]

But at the same time I was going to name change but I don't want to because I want to be able to find this again if I need to in the future and because (on the back of the PND thread even though this isn't PND) I have nothing to be ashamed of.

If any of you recognise me in my previous names please don't out me on this thread.

I am going to ring the doctor and get an emergency appointment and see if they can give me antidepressants or something to help I am crying I can't stop I'm stressed I'm not sleeping and my DP told me last night I am over thinking everything and tying myself in knots and could I please go and do something

So I came home in a strop with him and in tears but he's right.

My ex is a head wreck and very difficult to deal with.

I'm a single parent.

I work part time and go to uni full time.

I am having gynae issues and bleeding out every month for 2 or 3 days to the point where I last an hour before I'm soaked through.

I'm so tired just so so tired and I can't sleep

I have a bad shoulder and it hurts all the time it's the hand/arm I use the most and I have to do tons of typing and sitting at the computer for uni and driving and it hurts and I am swallowing ibuprofen every day and they aren't helping

So I am going to ring the doctor this morning and get an emergency appointment and tell them how bad I feel.

I'm scared. Stupid stupid stupid scared.

It's a weight off my shoulders and I dunno, it's so scary to think of doing it but doing it wasn't half as bad as I thought it would be.

You sound lighter already. You are a noodle for not going sooner.

Partmof the depression etc will be a result of the physical issues so just look on the tablets as an extra help to get you over that.

Cider that's very true - a bit part of it could be the anaemia (which even I know I have) and possibly some other issues - like thyroid and even just the being worn down from bleeding all the time

I have been anemic and it does wear you down, the tiredness, headache and loss of appetite.
Hopefully the iron will get that under control

God I hope so. I cannot go on like this it is ridiculous.

My mum called me a selfish Pratt. The only time she ever spoke to me like that and it came as such a shock we had booked a docs appointment within half an hour. Sometimes someone needs to be harsh to jolt you into reality.

We rowed I left and then continued the row by text

I'll ring him later and admit he was right maybe

You lot are amazing. I've said it before and I'll say it again. You are all fantastic and supportive when it's needed and a kick up the arse when that's needed too

brilliant op!!

You can't be nice you'll make me cry again

You're going to have to then :o We are luffly really.

well have a cry, get it out

I don't feel like my head is going at a million miles an hour any more

time to slow down and smell the coffee!!

so pleased for you op, love hearing this

I was just reading the PND thread again and it's attitudes like one poster put on there that mean that people like me are afraid and ashamed to ask for help.

yay !

Go, hathor ! < shakes pompoms >

Glad you went and sounds like things will slowly start getting better for you now

Sorry, came late to this, so impressed you went OP. I have lots of experience with family members and depression and other mental health issues and the vast majority of people react really well, very supportively. You get some idiots whatever you do.

My DH suffers from depression so I can tell you that it is really scary to watch when you think your partner is starting to get depressed. DH (and I) are now much better at reading the signs but in the early days I was mystified and infuriated by turns. He was probably only cross because he was afraid for you.

He will be so proud you went. (but still worried so take the bloody tablets)

AF you are definitely going to be in trouble with HQ

Your 'ard as nails image is slipping

But thank you all. REally

Well just read the whole thread and with fear of making you cry again you have been amazing facing up to this and getting support/ help when suggested to you.

I have read so many threads on here where it's starts like yours and then the OP starts to make excuses.

I hope you feel better soon and get some answers.

Well I haven't actually taken the tablets yet but I will don't worry.

I want to know what's happening with the periods and I have a feeling they are half the issue iyswim

I have a question.

I'm being a wuss.

Slap me about the face with a wet kipper.

Should I take one of the sleeping tablets tonight? I honestly don't remember the last time I slept more than about 2 or 3 hours at a stretch.

I have never ever taken any sort of tablet like that.