I have been sectioned.

[lazyhazydaisy]

I have just got access to the internet. I am much less petrified than I was at first but definitely 0 out of ten. I have a tribunal and if that fails I think I will be here until July. I feel as though I am living in a nightmare. I have never felt so alone.

No amount of talking online can compensate for a lack of relationships in RL. This site is a useful aide but it cannot be an end in itself. OP - please do not allow what you're offered here to distract you from trying to make connections again in RL.

Then why was discraged into the steets of the Dales with four months of bags labelle hospial propery and left to straggle to the bus stop to pick up my sick puppy and pay a forune to get home at last? Compter fuck there. What do u suggest? Anther couple of years in Alcatraz, MINS, SANE, RETHINIK OR twat ' healthcare assitance' w/ho deign to write the Princess Diana thing down
own their oblivion go my sarcasm are clealy too thick to employed'

[thanks to mn and all of the suppotive posters Aesop, I will get back to you.

I hopw that this thead is not deleted because I wan# my dc to read it when the come of age and realise how strong I had to be to refuse to #play the games#

Need new keyboard.

loshad i disagree. the only people behaving badly in my opinion are those who are armchair psychs and those who are ganging up on a support thread. of course daisy needs real life help she knows that. but this online support could be a springboard to that. i actually think some of you are being unhelpful. nobody is "feeding"... what a horrible term.

I think 'feeding' refers to encouraging someone in a way of thinking which is unhealthy for them.

Many people care about you Daisy. Caring about someone does not always mean agreeing.

suicidal ideation is "unhealthy" to the majority but a totally understandable reaction to acute distress. i don't think it is our place to judge. negative comments about "sanity" (whatever that means) or implied lack of can be very damaging to somebody who is vunerable and hurting. nobody has said that daisy can get herself sorted from an online forum. but i would hate to see her driven off with people saying " i think your mentally ill" vs " i don't" when really this thread is all she may have.

People here have encouraged real life contact/ sorting practicalities and given names and orgs to contact. other than that and empathising there is nothing else sinister going on here. this thread has already helped daisy to contact MIND, sane and some others. it has also prompted her to consider practical stuff like british gas etc to sort her house or start doing so. what more do people want? for somebody in her situation that is a major achievement and i just do not want her to lose that tiny chink of fight she has shown. that is all.

just as some of you do not "know" what is "real" about this situation... you also do not know that it isn't. do some research and you will dig up many people who have been in daisy's situation. MIND will be the place to go for abuses in the mental health system. i have seen it myself, i left the profession in the end. julia wassell got the female wing of broadmoor closed due to abuse. it happens however fantastical it may sound to those who have not seen it.

this woman needs support regardless of how she ended up here on mumsnet. and i don't see the appeal of coming on a thread to be negative and armchair diagnose when we haven't met this woman. there is a lot of good advice here which others may find helpful at a later date.

and daisy it must be horrible to be talked about :( sorry for doing so, just trying to fight your corner a bit

Aesop, I feel you are doing more harm than good. I am very worried by your suggestion that Daisy leaves the site to go into an unmonitored space with you and others who agree with you, rather than the safer space here.

i haven't suggested it in that context., i suggested it for fear of mumsnet closing the thread and people actually chasing her off . MN have said that they will not close thread. i didn't want her left with nowhere to talk. mnhq have the link to the boards and i have no other agenda but to help. i do not believe that i am doing more harm than good at all but that is up to daisy nobody else.

They have said they won't close the thread. Where do you get that from?

You are narcissistic in your view that you alone can help her. It is clear the OP needs external help. Your desire to put her in an online room with you puts her in a less safe situation.

mnhq have said so on this thread

i have not said i alone can help her. ever. please read what i write before you judge me. and i grabbed a forum that i opened up to everybody INCASE the thread was pulled. it hasn't been. for goodness sake. is this helping her? i have reiterated my position and clarified things.

i am trying to be patient here but ffs imperialblether if you read up you will see that i AGREE that she needs external help. i do not agree with ganging up and armchair diagnostics.

Daisee the thread won't be deleted. Don't worry about that, MNHQ are clear about that.

I think there is some sort of secondary gain going on here from those who are feeding into the OP.

The only people who can truly help the OP are REAL LIFE.

All these advisors may have no mental health experience and could be quite dangerous. and the only way to get that help is by professionals in real life. Anyone could claim to have expert advice on here, yet nobody really knows. Just like none of us really know the OP and whether or not she is a troll. Not saying she is but some perspective is required here.

Daisy please don't stop posting. This is your thread.
People are worried about you. We all show our concern in different ways. You do need some help, you know this.
Are you able to accept help from people on here you trust?
People are trying to be kind even if it doesn't always seem that way

I agree with you absolutely, LadySucre.

there are no advisors. there are people trying to be supporters and offer practical suggestions. which is more than some of you are doing. i sometimes wonder if i am reading a different thread here. where has anybody said anything other than daisy needing real life support? anywhere? anyone?

I have just read the entire thread.

Those of you that are telling people to stop with the "armchair diagnosis", what are you doing? Diagnosing the op that there is nothing wrong with her from her posts, except maybe PTSD, thats what.
I'm sorry but people are either blinded by the ops earlier eloquence or the fact that they, too, have/had MH problems.

The op is clearly very ill and that has been obvious from her very first postings.

I hope she is able to get the help she needs.

not going waste bandwidth justifying myself here, i do not think i have done anything controversial. if just one of mine or another posters suggestions can help her in some way then it has been worth my time. that is all. i am happy to be seen as a do-gooder, potentially dangerous ( !!!!) etc but there is nothing here that i have said that is remotely dangerous to the OP. have made suggestions and contacts for outside help, real life help and practical help. have tried to support listen and encourage. so have others as is right to do. when the thread was going a bit wonky i set up a place so she had an outlet incase thread got pulled. it hasn't been as mnhq said so is irrelevant. i give a shit regardless of how daisy ended up here. i guess if that makes me a bad person or whatever i can live with that far easier than ignoring somebody in distress.

Daisy you need fresh air and sunshine. Are you still avoiding leaving the house except under the cover of darkness? Things WILL get better, but you need to believe that. You've had a bad time, but that doesn't mean it has to be that way in the future. You need to take positive steps.

Do you have savings? You can get your house fixed up in a matter of days, forget about the stupid bureaucratic public services, if you want it, and you should, then your house can be made habitable in short order.

Take the DLA for God's sake. It might be bullshit on the forms, but it just means you receive money every week, it all comes from the same pot as if you sue them for damages. It's money that should be yours. You can't say 'but these things are not true' when you don't have contact with other humans, that's debilitating, depressing and demoralising enough. And you should be spending that money, otherwise it's just numbers in a bank account, what good is that to anyone.

You haven't really mentioned money having issues, so I'm assuming you have some savings, so what good is it doing in the bank? It's no use to anyone there.

'having money issues' even.

'this woman is clearly mentally ill'
etc.
And you wonder why I don't leave the house.
I have absolutely no human contact, nor would that be possible in this family house.
Your remarks about me in the third person don't sting, they sear.
Alcatraz was full of dribblers who had been there for so many years and on so many drugs that their only occupation was picking up dog ends'
I am not mentally ill. I am traumatised beyond action.
I have reiterated that my suicide will not be until I have sorted out my paperwork, and cleared my name for my dcs.
Some people on here are so callous that they should try a career in mental health. And why not charge tickets? My crime was not to act like a dancing bear to amuse the staff. I have all my notes and it took over three months to get them.

Most of the staff in that place should be behind bars.
This is horrible and not helpful.
How do you think I coped with each unforgiving minute, knowing that I could be in there for iife? With the 'haunted fervour that only the incarcerated understand.

How do think I feel having been dragged in barefeet into a policevan and returned to rats, no hot water, no heating, no drains and fungi on the floor? And a drip who assures me that I am entitled to no practical help?

My notes read that I was progressing very well on the drugs that I flushed down the loo. Would you suggest that I take them? Would you suggest that I 'play the game', or stick to my guns? My dp was horrified at the outcome of his secretive actions.

Where would you suggest I get specialist help? In the minute by minute horror of alcatraz with its regime of powerful drugs and jigsaws?

How would you feel to be asked how I managed to find Waterstones? How would you feel with that level of patronisation? Why do you think that I leave my front door unlocked every night with the key in it? How would you feel to be barged in on by a young man who watched you naked? Why do you think Miranda slept in her clothes when the same man walked in without knocking and pulled off her bedclothes?

How would you feel if the nursing staff wanted you out as soon as possible but were too scared to risk their jobs by whistle blowing?

How would you feel when a male nurse constantly tried to get you to admit that the radio talked to you?

How would you feel if a 22 stone nurse told you that if you admitted that you were bi-polar then you could leave. I only mention the 22 stone bit because she also appeared to have a crush on me and kept hugging me, which, if done by a man would have been sexual harassment?

How would you feel if you were told you were szichoprenic on the basis of fabrications made by a social worker who disregarded 6 attempts by Rethink to meet me?

I dug my heels to protect my children from these fabrications.

How would you feel to starve whilst the staff ordered their Chinese takeaways/

How would you feel to be watched on the lavvy/

How would you feel to be stalked by a delusional patient with scissors/

How would you feel to be watched every hour?

How would you feel to have your cell searched at random/

How would you feel to be strip searched at random?

God only knows what my dc wil make of this all but I will eventually show them this thread so that they know of the darker side of human nature.

And things will not get better. I knew that after 2 weeks. I have aged so much that my smiling muscles have gone.

How would you feel if your only outlet was an onine forum where one is accused of being a troll. With concern trolls suggesting I need specialist help that has already cost £100k?

How would you feel to wake to the noise of water plopping into buckets and feeling releif that one is no longer imprisoned?

How would you feel to read that your mother, deliberately not seen for 5 years wrote about an allegedly happy childhood?

I would suggest that you would take responsibilit for your affairs and end the unendurable pain.

And cocolepew takes the biscuit for gaslighting. Anyone offering any sympathy is mentally ill.