Can't sleep, marriage falling apart...

[Ineversignedupforthis]

Trying to keep it together for now. Major problems with massively entitled, passive aggressive oh, which keep coming up. Been going on and off for 20 yrs (the problems).

Have bi-polar, which is generally under control, but know I have to be careful, particularly during stress, when I can't sleep.

Am back in that cycle where I wake up at 4 in the morning, almost bang on, as if by alarm clock. Any thoughts? Any poor sod up like me?

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Ok, thanks Isis we were going to Google, that's a help. I am Creative, in that I can see possibilities in things, but dd can carry that out directly into art work, which I alas, cannot...

[ChildofIsis]

Hey, what's this 'I'm not creative' lark, who is the creative force behind parsley hats?

I won't let you do yourself down!!!

[ParsleyTheLioness]

I think I see Creative as different from Arty. I am creative, not Arty....

[ChildofIsis]

I see, so you don't do the floaty skirts sitting under a tree gazing at the sky all day thing then!!

I've always put them together but I see your meaning.
I'm not an artist but am creative around the house and garden.

Just sent off a resume of my assets to the sol and an e-mail to stbx asking him to get all his stuff valued so we can have 'realistic negotiations', copied the sol into it too.

Don't know where I stand with maintenance but thought I'd google it, I think there's an on-line calculator.

[ParsleyTheLioness]

CSA have a calculator. Think its about 15% of take home pay, but obs more difficult to see if someone is being honest when they are self-employed.

[ParsleyTheLioness]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1451592-Red-flags-I-should-have-heeded-share-yours-for-womenkind is the red flags thread, btw

[ChildofIsis]

The red flags thread made me laugh, I fell for all of them...willingly!

Well it's good to learn something new every day, and I've learned a months' worth in the past week!

I had a look on the csa etc. calculators and they all say around what I expected to, now I've got a starting point.

[ChildofIsis]

I reckon I've had a lucky escape really.
A bit of fun is ok but I am aware that my main responsibility is to DD and her future.

There's no way anyone is going to bugger up our now comfy living arrangements.

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Go Isis...that's the spirit!

[ChildofIsis]

Thanks Parsley.

I give you and Pink full permission to intervene if it looks like I'm wanting to live with a man again.
Get the wet fish out and administer a slapping.

Currently I can't see that ever happening. At least not in 'my' house!
Living without a man in tow is sooo nice.

A partner living elswhere maybe fun down the line sometime but there's stuff to sort out for now.
Last weeks shenanigans showed me that I'm not ready for all that yet.

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Years ago when I lived on my own I had a house with its own air raid shelter. I always said I wanted a man, but he could live in there, and i would bring him out for sex and to put up shelves. People assumed I was joking...

[ChildofIsis]

I had a man that 'lived' in the attic or the shed, he turned out to be a right twat so that wouldn't suit me!!

[ChildofIsis]

I am meaning stbx.

[ChildofIsis]

And there wasn't much sex or diy

[ParsleyTheLioness]

You're well rid...who did the jobs for the Company then? Did Sundry Men go and do them, rather than stbxh?

[ParsleyTheLioness]

My stbxh's idea of trying to woo me back, after the split, was to try and persuade me AGAIN to buy a house to rent out. We had already, within the marriage, discussed and ruled this out. He couldn't look after the one he had already cos he was always in the shed fiddling with one of his two motorbikes and since he has gone I have realised how much maintenance the house is behind on... At the weekend, someone put the wall dispenser back on for kitchen roll etc, and I couldn't believe how much he had bodged even that. The house has never been painted outside, and we have been here 11 yrs...

[ChildofIsis]

Stbx did the company work, we split the work really.
He did the stuff I wasn't able to do when he was home from his f/t work.

He hasn't painted here for around 15 years though, then only the u/s windows cos I don't like ladders. I've done all the decorating for 23 years!

I like the idea of sundry men. Unfortunately all the tradesmen I know are married or mates from years back so that's no good!

[ThePinkPussycat]

Hi both. Not long now Am well, am having a sort of 'thinking' weekend, have a good one, might see you on fb tho

[ParsleyTheLioness]

Ok. I am working tomorrow, and Mum and sd are coming down, and staying overnight. Will be nice to see them, but will have to tidy up! Bleddy NHS told me I would have a cheque by now...suffice to say that hasn't happened! Barstewards...

[ChildofIsis]

So Ladies it's been over a month since we posted on here.
We seem to keep up with each other on fb now.

Don't forget the 'Thank God He Left' Party on monday 11am onwards.
I'll pm you both on fb with address, postcode etc.

Really looking forward to meeting you both, DD can't wait to meet The Pink Pussycat and Parsley The Lioness!!

[ChildofIsis]

I didn't mean a month, duh!

[ThePinkPussycat]

I have to post here, so I can use the Jubilee emoticon

Looking forward to seeing you on Monday, when as it says in Alice Through the Looking Glass, we'll all be queens together, and it'll all be feasting and fun.

[ChildofIsis]

Absolutely!

I'm really looking forward to it, lots of people invited but don't know who's coming at what time.

I do hope it's dry.
My lovely neighbours have decorated our shared yard with ribbons and bunting, looks fab.

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