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Original poster

Can't sleep, marriage falling apart...

699 replies

Ineversignedupforthis · 18/10/2011 05:37

Trying to keep it together for now. Major problems with massively entitled, passive aggressive oh, which keep coming up. Been going on and off for 20 yrs (the problems).

Have bi-polar, which is generally under control, but know I have to be careful, particularly during stress, when I can't sleep.

Am back in that cycle where I wake up at 4 in the morning, almost bang on, as if by alarm clock. Any thoughts? Any poor sod up like me?

OP posts:
ParsleyTheLioness · 08/04/2012 08:47

And, you'll like this Pink, have had no mental health problems since he left. So he was a major factor then. Despite his accusations that I was Mad, I always said my mh was better than his.

ChildofIsis · 08/04/2012 09:27

Isn't that interesting Parsley.

I have sometimes wondered if it's the company a person keeps that triggers some mh problems rather then just being a certain personality type.

Clearly the capacity to exhibit certain mh behaviours is inherent in us all to one degree or another.

ParsleyTheLioness · 08/04/2012 09:34

Yes, although I think at times my MH has been fragile, his fwit behaviour certainly seems to have triggered it. How are you Isis? It's hard to see relationships we thought were solid break down...But what do I know, I thought my OWN relationship was ok, if not solid iuswim. Sometimes I think I know nothing about anything!

ThePinkPussycat · 08/04/2012 11:58

You know, in the mh arena it has always been a puzzle that women are more prone to depression than men.

I think the answer could be staring us in the face!

ChildofIsis · 08/04/2012 12:35

I'm okish, I think I'm almost more shocked about my Bro than I was about my own situation. So out of the blue for all of us.
At least it's an honest break and he's not involving a third party (afaik)

It's funny cos I'd just started to be a bit less cynical about men in general.
I don't want to end up as one of those people who stereotype all men as bastards.
Then this happens and I'm back to thinking that if the 2 people I thought were the most solid and loyal can leave their families then there's no hope for anyone.

I know that's just my head being judgemental and demanding that everyone's relationship stay the same. People change and grow apart I know.

On a lighter note had a great morning with my friend and DD hunting for eggs round the house, lots of fun and chocolate. DD's at a party at 1pm so that's a diversion too.

ParsleyTheLioness · 08/04/2012 13:34

Ooh, chocolate [bugrin]

ChildofIsis · 08/04/2012 15:42

Yes mmm chocolate [bugrin]

Party went well, was at the pool. DD now playing out with the neighbours kids.

Just getting stuff sorted for going to birth mum's tomorrow, emptying the fridge of stuff that won't keep etc.
We'll be having tea from the freezer tonight I think.

ParsleyTheLioness · 09/04/2012 11:26

Have a good time Isis!

ChildofIsis · 16/04/2012 16:55

Had a great time at birth mum's back to more decorating.
The anaglypta in the living room will soon be history!

ParsleyTheLioness · 16/04/2012 19:04

Look forward to seeing it for real!

ChildofIsis · 17/04/2012 19:10

Pink are you anywhere near North Yorkshire?
It would be great to have you both at the party!

ThePinkPussycat · 17/04/2012 19:30

Party? What party? Have I missed something in a post of yours, Isis?

North Yorkshire is perferctly doable, although it is a big place - whereabouts, roughly.

ChildofIsis · 20/04/2012 15:07

I'm having a 'thank god he's gone/check out my newly decorated house' party over the jubilee weekend.

Shall I pm you the details?

It would be great if we could all meet up, Parsley is coming with her dd.

ChildofIsis · 20/04/2012 15:08

Oh and the anaglypta has all gone!!

ParsleyTheLioness · 20/04/2012 19:35

Right. Just had fwit round to pick dd up, and collect some stuff prior to major van pick up on Sunday. Felt very sad, until he started trying to wind me up again about the neighbours....always a bone of contention, have a drive, which though is not legally 'shared' ie we both own our own half is not divided in the middle. To do so would render it useless for car storage as it is too narrow. Although good neighbours in many ways, they have taken the micky advantage a bit over the years, their kids parking accross our back door repeatedly for no apparent reason etc. Sometimes it really used to stress me, but he used to encourage my stress about it. Because he'sa fwit. So he's started that again. So I am not sad. Well I am, but I am really cross too

ThePinkPussycat · 20/04/2012 19:49

Thanks for the PM Isis - hope I can make it :)

Old habits die hard, parsley and he just couldn't stop himself - not that he tried!

ParsleyTheLioness · 20/04/2012 20:02

And he wants to take pics of the walls, 'that he built' ffs...

ParsleyTheLioness · 20/04/2012 20:03

Do try and get there Pink twould be good.

ChildofIsis · 22/04/2012 14:06

So it looks like it'll be a mn meet-up for the 3 of us then!

The living room ceiling is painted white and 2 of the walls white too, to get rid of the red plaster before the colour goes on. More white paint to do tomorrow then the colour next weekend.

I'm having 'concerns' about stbx, DD comments quite often about him 'always being on the computer' when they're at his house. This morning she said she'd had to rinse her own hair (in the bath) at bathtime cos he was in the other room on the pc.
She's not 6 yet and is a bit daft in the bath, it's one thing to nip out of the room to get an extra towel etc, but another entirely to be on the pc.
Coming on the back of her trip to a & e after her falling off the bed at his I tend to worry that he's just not paying attention when he's with her.

I texted him to see if what she said is correct, his reply was that he was 'wandering about' not on the pc.

I want to be able to trust him with DD, for my own peace of mind as much as her safety.
But then this sort of thing comes out, what else is happening that I don't get to hear about?

Mind you I am more likely to challenge him about this sort of thing than I would have done when we were together.
I don't think he's keen on the assertive me!

ChildofIsis · 23/04/2012 17:58

Stbx has said he'll use the pc less when DD is around, there's a first!

Living room walls all white now, 3 tons of filler put in hundreds of little holes and one very sore set of arms.

I've started on the living room curtains and the plumber is coming tomorrow to finally put my new sink in the attic.
It'll be a proper 'boudoir' once the vanity counter is in place.
I'll only need to come down to the loo and to replenish my stash of tea.

ParsleyTheLioness · 23/04/2012 18:59

Sounds good.

ChildofIsis · 25/04/2012 18:51

Attic sink done!
Living room curtains done.

At sols next week to move the divorce on, I assume the next bit in the decree nisi.

ParsleyTheLioness · 25/04/2012 20:13

I'm at the sols tomorrow. He is being a fwit. Had to torture the name of his solicitor out of him. Seems like he has got another woman, who 'accidently' was where he took dd for a meal last week...
I am doing a bead curtain for the kitchen. See my pic on FB.

ThePinkPussycat · 25/04/2012 20:53

First Appointment today, was ok but we let him off giving the accounts from more than 3 years ago. Ex is a bit smug as I haven't submitted the accounts yet and he says I will have to apply to court if I want to do this.

He has agreed to a meeting in just over 3 weeks, when he has provided answers to the qunnaire.

ThePinkPussycat · 25/04/2012 20:54

*marital accounts

*meeting with me and sol - need to think what the minimum concession is I am prepared to make, I suppose.