Can't sleep, marriage falling apart...

[Ineversignedupforthis]

Trying to keep it together for now. Major problems with massively entitled, passive aggressive oh, which keep coming up. Been going on and off for 20 yrs (the problems).

Have bi-polar, which is generally under control, but know I have to be careful, particularly during stress, when I can't sleep.

Am back in that cycle where I wake up at 4 in the morning, almost bang on, as if by alarm clock. Any thoughts? Any poor sod up like me?

Looks like we're all in the same boat.

Parsley how long has there been an ow?
Fancy taking your DD to where she 'accidently' was. Did he do it on purpose do you think?
Surely he realised your DD would tell you about it.

Pink the mind games continue don't they? It's a shame it can't all be done more smoothly without the wrangling over who gets what.

Oh it could be done v smoothly if I would just roll over and give him half. Then I would have to move out of this house and buy another, just don't know if I am up to it.

He was quite cheery last night, because of getting away with not providing the accounts. I said I would put what I remembered he'd told me into mine, and he could challenge. He then said I couldn't submit any more paperwork without applying for permission to court. I said how could I submit accounts without his figures.

I then went right back to abused spaghetti head woman, and spent 2 hours trying to sleep and crying. Rang sols this am, but she's in court today and Fri. Might email her.

I don't think quickly, wish I hadn't let sol let him get away with it. He submitted self-assessment forms, FFS. Also am not at all sure should have agreed to meeting.

I now officially hate him.

Isis I don't think it was an accident, I think it was On Purpose... Course dd was going to tell her, she is fiercely loyal to me, and there are no flies on her. He continually underestimates the pair of us. He does this at his peril. The firm of sols I am using have a lion as their logo, and they sponsor them and stuff. Coincidenc that I chose them? I think not, I think there were other forces at work...
I was a bit sad about OW, he has sort of dropped her into convo as 'a friend' for a couple of weeks, but the penny has only just dropped, and I suspect that's where he has taken the rest of his stuff. Going over the Petition this morning was a bit sad, but did me good, as it reminds me how well-rid I am.
I think I am getting over loving him, and going to join Pink in the Officially Hating category

I don't hate stbx , I pity him more than anything.
I thought he was special and I entrusted my all to him, I believed he would always be there lovingly beside me and would defend me and DD to the hilt.
In reality he does what benefits him, and he's stuck with ow!

I have realised why my head is so clear these days, cos I'm not wasting my energy thinking of/for him all the time.
I used to have to remind him about so much or it wouldn't get done, hence him having messy uncut hair now.
No-one is reminding him to get to the barbers.

Life is so much calmer and easier, I would never have believed it could be like this. I am enjoying my life in a way that I haven't done for years.
I'm not full of insecurity and doubt as I was when I was with him.

I'm getting colour on the walls in the living room today, Yay!!

I pitied ex until this week (interspersed with loathing, not hate). His outright lying and arrogance (and the fact that he is still here) is what changed things. Am feeling better though, realised he's been taking over my brain again, I have Let it Go, and Trust the Universe again, instead of trying to control everything.

I think you will feel better when he is out of the house Pink. Isis what colour are you using?
Have just given STBX a piece of my mind. I've kept a bit for later...
My darling M has been speculating OUT LOUD ffs about whether or not fwit started being an Arse when I put weight on. Thanks Mum...

parsley don't think of your DM's comment as a criticism of you, but as a comment on how shallow STBX is (if it is true that your weight would make such a difference to him). I know it just feels like your DM is calling you fat

Thanks Pink. She does think I am fat tho. It is the worst sin in our family apparently. I am the fattest

Are you able to Rock Up at the party Pink?

That is most definitely my plan, parsley, am v much looking forward to it. Tis my jubilee this year, too

Will be excellent. Only about four weeks away now!

The walls are light terracotta on 2 and pale yellow on the other 2 with dark greem curtains.

I've used a drill for the first time ever today, scary but successfull.
I've got tie-back hooks now too!!!

That should say 'green'

Greem is a new colour...I too have plans to use a drill. Going to get myself one of those cordless ones I think, so I can put up shelves and stuff.

I have no plans to use a drill, I do know you have to kind of lean down through the drill bit at it were when you do use one!

But I have a v nice woman friend who is ace with one, and the joiner who put the lock on my bedroom was fine (before you ask, no the lock was not so they can't get out )

*as it were

Ha, Pink...

Been to see the sol today, decree nisi is being applied for.
Need to get finances sorted next, stbx is 'always busy' so it's proving hard to sort out. Sol says give him til 31st to sort it or we go to mediation.

Yours will be in a different order to mine, isis as you have DC and pensions involved (i presume pensions). Mine didn't, so I could get divorced and then move onto settlement - not that I didn't try to negotiate before divorce!

However, if there is any way I can help ( excel?) do feel free to ask.

Thanks Pink,I may take you up on that offer.

There are pensions, shares, collectables etc to sort as well as 2 houses and eventually a property business.

Just got to wait and see if he'll get organised.

So annoying when they won't just get on with it. My current ph has been dragging his feet, but we might have reached an agreement (holds breath) I won't be suprised if he changes his mind, but if he doesn't that will be a bonus. Petition should be coming by the end of the week...suspect he may quite possibly go into denial about the contents.

What is it with stbxs and denial?
It's like they've made the changes they want and everything else can just be forgotten.

I spoke to my sis-in-law on tuesday and it looks like her and bro are getting themselves sorted. They are still living apart but are slowly finding a middle ground to work together on. I find it all quite heartening.

I do think sometimes people can work it out. But ph's need to accept there is a problem. Mine did, for about a week, then went back into denial about his 'ishoos' again.

Mine can't seem to see that it is in his interests to say how he plans to live and what money he needs to live on. His Form E is all about the past 2 years, little clue about the coming year. My questionnaire to him should answer some of that when he provides info.

At the First Appointment my sol went to talk with him on my behalf, before we went into court. I swear he thinks he and sol have an understanding - that I am irrational! She reports that he talked of the low figure put on the Form E for the house value (lower than the estate agent's value I got, and that was low enough, I thought!) Apparently he said 'I don't know where she got that from' in a (I imagine) 'see what we have to put up with, you and me' way. In fact this low value was the one she advised to put.

She also reported some badinage re White v White (divorce case which established certain principles, which he had gone on about in a letter to sol/me. When I said, on the evening following the case, that my sol was nice, did he think so too, he reported that they'd talked of WvW and I had the satisfaction of saying 'yeah, she told me'. He doesn't seem to get that sol is representing me.

Tis amusing. Last lap of excel now....

Ooh, badinage...haven't heard that word in ages. My ph seems to have picked a woman sol, presumably so he can try and charm her.... You must be an expert in Excel by now...