Keziah, City, Choc et al support thread

[Keziahhopes]

Hi - found us a new home. Just didn't like the title of my old thread - and have found your support so helpful but would also like this thread to be less egocentric .

Choc -hope cbt assessment goes well.

City - how are you doing?

My physio exercises are helping me, but don't see stroke consultant until beginning of July. Still not had OT assessment, but dont' think will need it by then - just been horrible for dh to do everything for me since Easter. Now more independend - just had my first shower by myself!!

< waves to Choc and Keziah* >
Hope you're less exhausted today , Keziah , and wish you were less restricted . Agree with choc that your feelings sound normal , and hope your Dh finds a way for you to get a lot more rest - I know it is bound to be very , very hard with your energy & mobiliy below par .
-Really sorry if I came across as unfairly critical of your Dh and expecting life to be ideal in terms of accomodating your needs thouigh it should be that way.

Glad you had some relaxation , choc Magnoificent post , sure very helpful to Keziah
Tech hasn't been back in contact and after all the faffing they've done to helpfor me , am leaving it to see if they get back to me next week , if that's OK

Sorry not posting properly , very rushed week - was very touched by what you said about single parenthood , choc , and am in greatest awe

Hugs to you both xxx
< soppy at thought of swaddled infant >

Hi city and Keziah. Just checking up on you, Keziah and hoping that you either made it outside after all or spent the day sleeping away .

As for me, I've messed up my sleep again. All this crying (more tears this morning) is draining me so ended up going back to sleep after school run (first time in weeks and weeks aarggggh).

city sorry you're no further forward on the technical issue. Next week is fine for me (I think) < choc reminds self to check to see exactly what waffle I wrote > Hope with all the rushing that you've been able to keep some time for you - very important xx

Hi choc - oh no , that sounded awful of me , positively hurtful when you're having a hard time - I didn't mean I'll get round to trying to say something about your difficublties when the computer problem is sorted out , just that my my sleepy rain is still trying to work out whether any of my PM is worth posting here - but it was pretty brief & simplistic , I fear

So sorry you were in tears again today , but I think it's am very encouraging that it's been ages since you went to bed in daytime - really brilliant that you didn't do so last week - in fact most weeks recently have held many challenges I think , & I feel you try to avoid "laying it on " others - even when severely affected ... again , really glad you managed to reach out this week

Thank you so much for encouraging me to relax a bit
Thinking of you both - peaceful night xxx

city at the "...just that my sleepy rain..." statement. Only on the third reading did I get it, lol! And no, no your post wasn't awful sounding at all. I've checked my PM and yep I was waffling off-loading so no response is perfectly ok, honest . A good day today, no tears (gold star!) and was visited by an old friend who'd come back to see family so managed to do some more off-loading (between keeping dd relatively quietly occupied).

Hope you managed to relax a bit today.

And Keziah hope you managed to have a chat with dh and that IL visit is helping and not hindering your recovery.

Hugs to all xx

Happy Mother's Day , choc and Keziah !!!!

Glad you got such a lot done yesterday , choc , and am echoing your wishes for Keziah

• eek , sorry so short - just realised we'll miss the tip if I don't get a move on < sleepy rain >

I am currently crying, with a screaming baby whilst my dh is having a tea made by his MIL and with his parents. No food provided for me (well as coeliac I can't eat the bread or cakes and that is what is on the table) so I am in my pj's in bed alone (well with ds).

Dh decided to take lots of photos of ds with various people today (some we hardly know) but didn't take one of me with my ds on my first mother's day - hence I gave up and gone to bed. No point staying dressed. Tried to take a photo myslef with me and ds, but in my pj's I look even fatter than I feel and my skills aren't that good taking photos at arms reach.

Can honestly say don't want to repeat today. Should be thankful I have a son, but my dh would rather be with his parents than us.

Oh Keziah , hugs ... will keep realative waiting if I try to post properly , but so sorry Mother's Day upset and I'm sure Dh idn't meant to upset you ... I was worried first MD would cause you more upset after the awful day on Friday .
I would just say that several of the horrible experiences you've mentioned today , I've seen on Mn before - aespecially the meal with food you can't eat .
The over-strong attachment to family is a deep -seated problem , but please don't despair about it . I know you've been married years , but Dh can come to see things differently & behave more considerately of you .

You do sound very low & I think it's norml even if you'd had perfect ahelth & an easy PG and birth , without background stresses ... you are doing amazingly to have this child , and indeed to be ebtertaining family again ... there are too many demands on you atm

The size thing - ha , if you stood next to me in RL you'd feel better
love to you and Dxxx

(((Keziah))). Sorry your first mother's day has been an upsetting one. Is DH ignoring your needs or is he oblivious to them in typical man style? I remember getting pretty upset on my first M'sD because ex-H didn't get card etc on behalf of dd. It was as though he didn't yet see me as a mother (presumably because it still hadn't hit home that he was a dad). Boy did he get full force of a choc rant! The food situation is shocking. Does he not appreciate that you need to eat well to stay healthy? Hope tomorrow is a little better for you.

< choc waves a quick hello to city >

Wants to post a positive post so I will. Little David is currently in his crib, facing a mirror and moving his arms and legs lots!! Think his sight is improving and he is playing lots - which is making me . going to register him tomorrow, and then having visit from my care co-ordinator which should be ok as I can smile and talk lots about the baby.

Hugs to both - thanks for listening.

Ah sounds so cute I had a little smile too. < choc is amazed that he is doing so much already. I have had a baby - honest . > Good that you have something planned for tomorrow too. No last minute changes to his names now! And always good to talk lots about your babe. Keep up the good work Keziah

Oops just realised that tomorrow was in fact today Keziah. I'm sorry but am a little all over the place. Hope your day was ok. xx

Oh fabulous baby !!! Am fascinated about the time when they start to take an interest in world around them - thank you for telling us
Really hope scary appt was OK after all < frets > and you completed the registration - how excitig ! Still mulling over which second name you've chosen ...

< waves to choc > So sorry bit all over the place .. have slept most of 2 days so my mind extra woolly on the wisdom front but let us try t0o help any time you feel like it , won't you ( subject to sleepy posters & wonky send buttons )< hugs >

city, I'm just drained. I can't face my life right now. I really should go to bed - I will very soon but was hoping to get away without the zopiclone so was delaying it. although i'm no more upset than I was, I'm certainly no less so, so would be hard to sleep naturally . Feeling like I'm being sucked down -feeling needs to pass soon.

Hi you two .. choc , tried to PM a simplistic answer , but although bottom of page says it's been sent , it doesn't show up in "sent" messages ... any chance it's turned up ?

Hope baby D is pleased with his official registration - what is it called - should be citizenship , I reckon - or not , if feeling anarchistic
May choc and I peep into carrycot please , Keziah ? Is David interested in toy etc held in front of him ? Does he respond to a rattle etc ? < off to look up >< hopes hasn't made David cry >

Argh , didn't send (((( choc))))) if pm hasn't arrived

No city, your pm hasn't turned up .

Don't think I've cried this much since my last day in work. I think I'm getting better now though. Thankfully a bit more controllable today. Weather has been gorgeous so that has helped loads and also got lots of baby smiles from a friend's youngest. Group was very therapeutic today too. Hope the weather has been good for you two too xx

Oh and well done city for taking the six hundred and sixty sixth post - I wouldn't have posted that one!!

choc, tried to post after you but fell asleep where I was ... poor thing about the crying but truly , it might be a health yrelease odf emotion ... so good that you think it's improving a bit now

Brilliant that you managed to go to support group & that it was helpful... so glad you feel the is getting improving a bit nowit's
I though tof you the other day when a news item set me off crying on & off for ages , & at least it gave me achnce to think about the reasons for the reaction

Had gloriousw weather here too , but am trying to get on with tasks ( & didn't manage enough of them ) , bah . I know the weather has a huge effect makes a huge duif to you and we're hoping you're able to at least sit in garden , Kezuah , and maybe have a short walk round
< hmmmm choc , wonder if there's a p /t vol opportunity for you to get your regular fix of baby smiles >

< Tech tried to diagnose the PMs problem , sob ... not sure whether I cahave woked up te guts to ask again , really sorry ... would you mind if I post some of it here instead ? >

(devil at getting the 666th post)

(devil) let's see if this one works ( not its evil ways , a cackle will do )

it didn't
(devil)

maybe this is a good omen ....

More public crying today . (city, may I ask what news item set you off? It's been a very up and down day for me. I felt like throwing in the towel early afternoon. Doing ok right this second though. Think I'm meant to be sorted by now - felt rather rushed out of surgery today (visiting cpn). My problem? Not feeling suicidal enough. Rather edgy, and unbalanced but not feeling it's serious enough to bother mentioning it. It's not like anyone can do anything nor can I do anything properly either.

On the positive side though I've spent an hour or so staring at pretty daffodils. How are your gardens doing? (Not that I was staring at daffodils in my garden ).

city feel free to go ahead and post here (as you've written it). I'm in need of a magic wand right now < no pressure then! >

Hi choc - let's see if a drop of WD40 works on magic wands -... poor ything , I think you're in a falling-through-the-safety-nets situation wih mh services , though the hidden issue ought to prompt more help as it's a symptom of extreme emotions You are doing amazingly well to face cpn , school routine etc , and of course you need more help to deal with all this & I think you are eligible for it

Will have to be a few mins before can post totally unoriginal PMs for you as I can't seem to dig the Notepads out of my Documents and DH is havin bed , though intending to get back up to replace some kitchen tiles

Will post properly asap xx
Thinking of you and David , Keziah , hoping no outside stresses , and that you're healing well from the birth < tests wand in fairy godmother mode , wishing D all the wisdom , courage and good luck he could ever need >

Wonder if the magic might work for my dim brain ... couldn't wake Dh but found my kindergarten -level thoughts ... I think there's another one - peaceful night to you both xxx
Thanks for answering ,((((choc))))) and good on you for trying to manage without the zopiclone , I'm sure you will be able to do so fairly soon .. so sorry to hear still so upset , but seems natural reaction to me , to work trying to set up a meeting and your mh etc is being brought up ... you are being horribly bullied in an area where your parents make a lot of comment . - sorry to be so simplisti here . Most of thesse events are probably triggering past issues
You've had had enormous changes in the last couple of years , specially last year ; not so long I ended your marriage came to an end through EA and you had to take on sole responsibility for dd -w ho is now at a much harder stage to deal with -
then huge upheaval impossible situation wth work...
You've had your DM as background , with some of her ideas sounding very dysfunctional
plus you said you'd needed to come to terms with circs meaning dd would be an only child- you 've needed to grieve for that
Work future up in the air is a huge life crisis , though I like to think it will mean you have the chance to do thing more suited to you , or return to work in healthier conditions
You've had frightening health scare annd loads of illness in recent months - hopefully bugs brought back from dd's new school - you might have post viral fatigue or CFS , making the memotional health problems impossible to cope with
... and with your intelligence , you sound as though you need more time with adults & to pursue your creative interests
Of course you are in turmoil , particularly as not getting mh support which actually helps you , though GP sounds nice & support group could help - am not sure cpn is very useful for you ?

ah , there was a last bit ( no more incisive )paragraph

You are doing vastly better than I would be !!! I can not begin to tell you how much more so - I would like to see you have some current issues more or less resolved and of course physical health thsymptoms sorted , so you can feel more "yourself" and it will become clearer what steps will next help you ... I can see a lot of complex things fall ino place once the first few things gave done so

Sorry for dreadful English etc , rushed
Hope you can get a bit of sunshine xxx - PS daffodils excellent - lots of pansies & primroses going on here , trying to impress letting agent , sigh