Being a bore...... but I'm struggling..... reeeeeeally struggling.

[Toothache]

I know there are loads of threads like this at the moment, but I didn't want to take over one of those.

I'm having a tough time with DH. I think we have argued and I have cried every day for the past fortnight..... at least.

He reacts really badly to me if I ask him to do something, or if I get a bit pissed of that he's left ds's jacket at the Nursery (for example). He gets really angry with me, which inevitable deteriorates into a screaming match, then me crying and him being angry at me for crying..... then he makes things worse by saying things to hurt me....

Oh god its just terrible. I'm sick of making excuses as to why my eyes are puffy. I'm sick of ds asking me why I'm sad. I'm sick of constantly being treated like I'm just an annoyance to DH. I feel like he hates me, I've told him this..... but he says thats my problem coz its all in my head. But he has told me many times in arguments that he hates me...... so now I believe that! And he doesn't see it as his responsibility to show me otherwise.

I'm not really looking for advice. I know we need counselling, but we were offered 2 appointments at Counselling after waiting on a list for 6 months...... both times we couldn't go coz there was noone to watch the kids. Now they've taken us off of the waiting list.

I'm so miserable, I just want to be happy in my marriage like loads of you are! I want my DH to show me he loves me..... he doesn't do anything really unless we've had a screaming row and he feels guilty.

I could on and on..... but I'm at work and I'll start to cry again. I told him a while back that I felt insecure with him and that he doesn't really do anything that makes me believe he wants to stay with me. I explained to him that was why I was upset a lot of the time..... the next time we argued he used that against me..... screaming that it was my fault coz I was insecure and that I was a whinging crying cow.

That was his parting shot this morning. Then he told me he can't live with me anymore and that he'd 'see me' tonight.

Just had to write it down.

Toothache - I know money is tight for you, but an option if you want to be seen is sooner is to pay privately. You can still make the contact via Marriage Guidance Scotland - dh and I did that and because we were prepared to pay privately were able to be seen sooner.

It was £40/session - but worth it. It's still cheaper than paying out the rent on a flat!

(and if you start shopping at Lidl, you could make savings there too! !)

I'm not saying it made everything hunky dory between dh and I - we had some hum dingers of rows, sometimes immediately after a session - but it did help give us some breathiing space.

Bet you never realised everything wasn't all sweetness and light between me and dh after what I was saying yesterday! Just goes to show you can't always tell! (although dh was actually a wee gem over the weekend - and we both do want to make our marriage succeed and to put the effort in that is required)

flippin' 'eck! what good news. Glad it went so well, hope it works out for you

Have just read through the thread and my heart goes out to you. I've been through relate with dh and found them very helpful...they gave us the tools to put our relationship back together so to speak when I didn't think it was possible. Good luck with the counselling and keep smiling

There haven't been any developments since Sunday coz I've got Winter Vomiting Virus!!! Was off work yesterday shivering and sore and sick. Felt rrrreally sorry for myself. DH came home from work early to let me go to bed.

Prettybird - No I'd never have guessed that about you and your DH! We could afford to go privately now that I've started my new job. And you're right..... it would be a real saving on the £400 per month it'd cost DH to move out!

PS. I still want him to look for a flat though, if things get better in the meantime then fab..... if not he's still on his way OOOOT!

I'm off to curl up under my desk now.... I haven't eated anything since Sunday afternoon at Little Marcos (crisps and a penguin!).... and I'm feeling a bit woozy.

Sorry you've not been well Toothache - fortunately, we seemed to have missed it. Having said that, I'm now down on London for three days - so dh would have to deal with ds if he were to come down with it!

Hope you feel better soon.

Batters - THanks for asking. It's going okay. Not great, but okay. I can see DH actually making an effort to deal with situations without resorting to angry outbursts or completely ignoring me. I hope that he can see that this is a massive improvement and perhaps it'll motivate him to keep making the effort.

Message withdrawn

I need to ask DH to move out more often..... we had sex 3 times this weekend!!!!!

Thats more than we normally have in a Quarter!

Doesn't anyone even care how many times I've had sex this weekend????? Anyone?

its three times more than me! maybe things are looking up for you, how do you feel about it?

GO TOOTHY!!

Was thinking of CATing you earlier-was reading "happy marriage" thread and getting very down about it.
Am really glad things are better with your dh and sex 3 times in a weekend?-sure your new name shouldn't be jawache??

lol Dropinthe - Jawache??? C'mon... We're getting along, but jeeeeees I wouldn't do that for him yet!

Edgetop - Bloody fantastic TBH! Its nice to feel like he wants me!

Nor do I,EVER!!

Maybe thats where we're going wrong eh?

Must be-think my dh would roll over like a puppy if I did that!

at 3 times in a weekend - show off!

SK - Better than the usual of once a month!

Once a month? That GOOD for me!

My poor DP is on rations since my sacro-iliac pain returned, at night can hardly turn over in bed nevermind anything else!

Toothache, excellent. sometimes they just need a short sharp shock to get them started!

lol Dropinthe! Yeah tell him you're looking for a flat for him to rent and he'll be bonking you senseless by next weekend.

HURRAY!