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Extra-curricular activities

Find advice on the best extra curricular activities in secondary schools and primary schools here.

Original poster

Am I being over paranoid?

225 replies

ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 12:27

Tell me please if in the UK it is normal to send any parents who volunteer themselves to go to swimming sessions with 5-6 year olds to help in changing rooms and in the water with the kids?

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 12:29

Yes, though they would probably have to be CRB checked

othersideofchannel · 18/05/2010 12:35

Yes, normal.

Original poster
ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 12:39

What's CRB?

OP posts:
Bramshott · 18/05/2010 12:42

At our school we help the children get changed, but don't go in the water. I am CRB checked but I don't know if everyone is - it's a group changing situation and we're never alone with the kids.

rubyrubyruby · 18/05/2010 12:42

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Bramshott · 18/05/2010 12:43

CRB is a Criminal Records Bureau check (used to be called a Police Check). It checks if you have any convictions.

Original poster
ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 12:51

Ok, but that hardly helps does it? I mean how many abusers haven't been caught yet?

OP posts:
rubyrubyruby · 18/05/2010 12:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/05/2010 12:52

What would you rather happen?

Original poster
ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 12:54

I offered to go to, but was only chosen for one session out of about 7, so I told the teacher my dts wouldn't be going!

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 12:54

What circumstances are you worried about? Or do you have concerns about a particular person?

rubyrubyruby · 18/05/2010 12:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/05/2010 12:56

You know other people could be thinking the same about you, maybe children just shouldn't be allowed anywhere without a relative attached, oh wait more abuse happens in the family.

Original poster
ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 13:00

There is one person going who I have a bad feeling about, sorry I know it is nothing concrete, but call it intuition, then I found out that he and another man who I do not know were going in the water, for every session and I was just really uncomfortable with putting my kids in a possibly dangerous position.... have to say dh agrees with me.

I am a shocked mum when at ballet some of the girls (age between 4-8) getting changed with other mums and dads being in the room, and get completely naked and sit on the benches with their legs wide open, that makes me really uncomfortable. My dcs get changed at home in private. Is tht over paranoid too?

OP posts:
Original poster
ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 13:03

Abatinbunkfive - I think you'll find a lot of abuse happens by friends of family too, ie other kids parents etc. Is there a problem with me wanting to protect my children????????

ruby - no at age 5 here school is not compulsory, teacher was not happy but she said fine.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 13:07

I think you are over -reacting tbh. You are creating a culture of fear for your child.

If you have bad feelings about one particular person then you need to evidence your concerns and report it.

ABatInBunkFive · 18/05/2010 13:10

You asked for opinions, sory i didn't realise you only wanted the ones that think you are not over reacting.

moomaa · 18/05/2010 13:15

I don't think it is unreasonable for kids to get changed with mums and dads in the room, if my DD was sat with legs wide open I'd tell her to sit more nicely.

bruffin · 18/05/2010 13:25

Why on earth would they be naked for ballet?

and yes you are over reacting. I used to help out with swimming by escorting them to the pool, helping in the changing room and even went in the water with them. I had a CRB check, I wouldn't have been allowed to do it without the CRB

Original poster
ponygirl17 · 18/05/2010 13:53

Right well no CRB checks done here, so no fallbacks, although how many serious abusers get through all that anyway?

No knickers for ballet so naked to get changed....

scurryfunge - how can I report someone for being a creep?? Like I said no evidence just think he is a weirdo imo.

and ABatInBunkFive - of course I am looking for all opinions but do not expect people to be rude and sarcastic just because you think you are anonymous on here. I asked a perfectly simple question, because I have a genuine fear of abuse. 80% of my best friends have been sexually abused so I know how much goes on, and I obviously think swimming is a genuine risk as my children would be getting undressed and showering etc at a very young age, they are only 5!!!!

I am surprised that I am the only mum who may worry about this.

OP posts:
scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 13:56

scurryfunge - how can I report someone for being a creep??
Exactly...you need to evidence it, rather than just scaremonger

You or your child's father, or the rest of the family are more likely to abuse your child, rather than a swimming pool helper. The 80% of your friends will no doubt have been abused by a family member

mumblechum · 18/05/2010 14:01

80% of your friends have been sexually abused? and .

hocuspontas · 18/05/2010 14:01

Who decided on no knickers for 5/6 year olds for ballet? Ok they sometimes show but who cares. Our teacher wouldn't even consider it her business to dictate that.

5 year old girls in the water being held by men who had no CRB checks? I'm not sure about this one, especially if I didn't care for them. Why are they doing it? Are they instructors? I'm not at all paranoid but I might agree with you here until I knew more facts.

scurryfunge · 18/05/2010 14:02

Just because there is a man in the water, you assume he will abuse?

backtotalkaboutthis · 18/05/2010 14:04

No, you're not being paranoid, don't worry. It's a shame. But how many Dads volunteered? Because it's usually Mums, and to choose two Dads is a bit odd. I wouldn't like men to be helping my young daughter change, not at all, not at all. I don't think it's strange not to want that.