Am I being over paranoid?

[ponygirl17]

Tell me please if in the UK it is normal to send any parents who volunteer themselves to go to swimming sessions with 5-6 year olds to help in changing rooms and in the water with the kids?

you are so weird you lot

it's considered so paranoid to be concerned about your naked child with strangers -- but you can't bear to read the word "naked"? That's considered more of a worry?

what are you like? do you all teach your children "front bottoms" and "winkies"? talk about uptight and prudish

wtf? You have lost it now,get a grip!

er how?

bruffin thinks it's very bothersome that I use the word naked, implying that I'm overly interested in this fact

she finds this more bothersome than concern about strange men being with one's naked children

do you not agree with her then? I assumed you did from you rolling around on the floor laughing?

do you even know what you're talking about?

it's finished BTTAT....let it go....relax

It was always a waste of time. The words "limited understanding" and "inability to follow a train of thought" should have occurred to me sooner in relation to most of the posters here.

Oh don't beat yourself up over it, I think you followed the thread quite well for some of the time.

I don't even think your limited understanding is an entirely fair comment either....just misguided.

Sometimes it doesn't matter how slowly you talk or how clear you are.. people think oh ffs you idiot is a convincing response

No need to be rude,like I said, it's finished, get over yourself.

To the OP.

If you feel strongly about this man then how about you go to the swimming baths as well.
Rather than deny your DT's the life saving skill that is swimming, enable them to learn in a situation that you feel more comfortable with.
Mention your concern to the school while making it clear that you will be joining them whether they like it or not. It seems unfair to punish your children for something way outside of their control.

On a different note can I ask if you think it is better to encourage your children to hide away/change in private or be proud of their bodies and be much more open about it all?
I am sure that most abuse occurs in private spaces. If all your children changed/ dressed together in a more free way then there would be no chance for abuse to happen.

I feel very strongly that the more you hide a child away the higher the chance of them growing up feeling they are different or somehow wrong.

I DO NOT think this is what you are doing. Just what I think generally.

"It's the obsession with "naked" children by balktotalkaboutthis that bothers me "

yes, she's bothered by it

i think that implies that I have an unhealthy interest in the fact that children are naked

good lord, at being told not to be rude, considering some of the appalling rudeness on this thread, and not from me

I have just come back from my own swimming lesson

BTTAT - you are quite happy to insinuate that every single man is potentially a paedophile and therefore should be treated like one.
The helpers will not be "strange" men off the street who just decide to volunteer. They are parents of children involved in the school, most likely SAHD . They are no more potentially guilty than you are.

They will not be alone with children either in the changing room, nor in the pool where there will be other teachers in the pool and most likely watching.

No I am not going to apologize, you are quite happy to insinuate that every single man is a potential paedophile are you going to apologize for that. That means men like my husband and my son when he grows up. Do I never leave them alone with my daughter, it's at home these things are far more likely to happen.
Yes abuse happens, but it's not normal to look for it everywhere the way you seem to do.

rubbish

you haven't read any of my posts or you're too stupid to understand them

bit of both probably

I am so glad that my friends have similar attitudes to me and don't see potential abusers around every corner (and that includes the one who's a social worker who specialises in supporting the children who have "survivied" abuse - and another 2 who are GPs who see the effects of abuse carried out by family members).

Not sure how the OP would cope in Iceland where if you go to the public swimming pools, you are expected to shower thoroughly (complete the diagrams of where you are to sopa ) with your swimming costume off, before leaving the changing room and going into the pool. At least the changing rooms are single sex though .

The most important thing IMO is to teach ds confidence in his own body and himself, that he knows what is and is not appropriate and that he doesn't keep secrets, so that, god forbid, he were to come acorss an abuser, he would have the confidence to a) say no and b) tell us.

BTTAT - You're wasting your time. Not wanting to have a man you don't know in with your changing/naked 5 year old clearly means you're a paranoid, mad, Daily Mail reader who should be stoned to death

Well, sign me up for a subscription to the DM then because I would not be happy for my dd to be in a changing room without her parents and with a male volunteer I don't know.

Some of you are just so right on it hurts

DeFluffy the man would never be alone with the children.

It was a very well respected poster on another thread recently (not going to 'out' obviously) who I'm sure said that she was molested by a family friend and they weren't necessarily 'alone' when it happened. Can't imagine it being difficult in a noisy changing room. Not that I often have cause to think about it obviously

To me its just more about dignity and privacy though, I would rather my child was changed / observed changing by someone of the same sex.

If you think about it there are often signs up if someone of the opposite sex is cleaning in public toilets. It's just the whole thing about dignity etc I think as well as the possible (but granted unlikely) question of abuse, I'm sure my Gran at 86 would refuse a male carer because they help her change etc and she would find this undignified.

So the boys should just put up with a strange female?

To me its just more about dignity and privacy though, I would rather my child was changed / observed changing by someone of the same sex."

Nobody said the men would be in the girls changing rooms have they. It's only BTTAT that keeps insinuating that. There are so few men in primary schools that it is very unlikely there will be men in the boys changing rooms either.

Bruffin - in that case I misunderstood, I thought the whole point was that the men were to be in the changing rooms with all the children. Otherwise, I don't understand the problem?