Am I being over paranoid?

[ponygirl17]

Tell me please if in the UK it is normal to send any parents who volunteer themselves to go to swimming sessions with 5-6 year olds to help in changing rooms and in the water with the kids?

Agree with Pixie. I mean this in the nicest possible way, but I think you should talk to someone.

FGS. Calm down! No-one accused you of being an abuser, just tried to show that you're being illogical. You think people probably have ulterior motives for volunteering to help, and yet you have volunteered yourself. Surely you can see what people are saying?!

ponygirl17, people have disagreed with your comments, your distorted thinking is not healthy for you or your children. Please take a step back from this, you started getting personal and I don't think you are debating anything

ponygirl you are contradicting yourself left right and centre.

YOU find this man creepy - therefore maybe someone else could find YOU creepy

YOU dont want this man to assist with swimming - therefore maybe someone else doesn't want YOU assisting with the swimming (maybe that's why you only got one session out of seven?)

YOU haven't been CRB checked so YOU could be an abuser.

YOU say "I volunteered to keep an eye on my kids not to abuse others" - maybe this man volunteered to keep an eye on his kids not to abuse others.

This is why people are starting to get wound up by you - listen to yourself and see how paranoid you sound when you look at both sides.

Can you really not see what you are doing to your kids here - can you imagine how messed up they are going to be if they grow up being scared of everyone and everything.

I am a WOHM, DH is a SAHD. Next year DD will start swimming with the school and no doubt DH will happily volunteer to help out. He has already accompanied the children on 2 museum trips and has given talks on both his previous career and 'what it means to be a dad' to DD's reception class and the Year 6's.

He would be devastated if he thought anyone was thinking this of him, why would you do this to anyone "a bad feeling" FFS - what a stupid reason.

I highlighted the fact that abusers are not likely to be strangers and I apologise for calling you an idiot.

You weren't called an abuser pony. Someone pointed out that if you beleived that one parent was likely to be an abuser, it was just as possible that another parent might beleive it of you.

I'm sorry that this has upset you so much. I've been burnt by AIBU before. It's not always nice.

ponygirl17, I've not read any of your other posts, but it sounds like you've had a couple of years of hell, house burning down, moving country etc

Maybe because of this you may be more anxious for the safety of your children. It's not just the swimming the little girls getting changed at ballet, most people wouldn't even give it a 2nd thought.

I am so not judging, just think you may need some outside support.

That's my job normally. I think it has come to a natural conclusion

I think it more likely a peado in a speedo would volunteer to help in the changing rooms rather than in the pool! Oh - you volunteered to be in the changing room...oops!

Someone on here said she was abused by her brother, my bf was abused by her brother, and daughter of my friend here in france was caught doing untolds with her brother in the bath, and in the uk, my friends friend had a 12 year old who was raping his 2 year old foster sister...so sorry if I think it is better to mention to my children that certain things like their privates are to be kept private. And why I have an irrational fear of abuse at a swimming pool.

Sorry for obviousy being completely screwed up, and needing some help on here.

Pixie - ahh needs must TBH. I had a contract to finish - he'd already finished his so it made sense for me to carry on and him to stay at home.

She did the usual Pre-School stuff, but there was never much of a point in him looking for a job, "dads hours" are still very few and far between.

At her pre school they used to go to the Gym every Friday morning and the staff practically begged him to help out - especially with some of the more 'boisterous' boys in DDs group. Was amazing how much more notice they took of DH shouting "Stop" than their teachers! 'Tis why he is helping out now.

Ponygirl - weren't all those examples of abuse in a private place though? I can see why you are nervous on this subject but a pool is public - other people will be around al the time - probably safer than a private house.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooo

Remember Len Fairclough............Poor old Rita.

DH helped out with a couple of science workshop at DCs primary. The Deputy Head and DSs teacher both came to me afterwards saying that he should retrain as a teacher, they are desperate for men primary teachers.

I think men helping out at school is terrific and I wish there were more male primary school teachers. My dh has helped too etc etc blah blah. But this isn't any kind of an argument for the changing room. Are you trying to say it is?

When you are putting in place policy involving naked children you do have to think a little harder these days.

I think you are all a bit odd, or unthinking, or desperately right on, to think that helping clothed children in a classroom is not different to handling naked children.

Although one isn't often asked to handle naked children in a classroom.

Is anyone seriously suggesting that abuse will take place in a public swimming baths with lifeguards and loads of other people around.

I think we in teh UK have gone overboard on CRB checking everyone to within an inch of their lives. no wonder no one wants to volunteer for anything, esp men if they are assumed to be potential abusers just because of their gender.

yeah

that's kinda my point

so bringing up male role models in the classroom adds little

it's interesting but it's meaningless in this context