Am I being over paranoid?

[ponygirl17]

Tell me please if in the UK it is normal to send any parents who volunteer themselves to go to swimming sessions with 5-6 year olds to help in changing rooms and in the water with the kids?

yes I am suggesting that

are you seriously suggesting abuse couldn't take place in a changing room with lots of children, lots of noise, adults helping children change?

seriously?

seriously?

abuse has taken place in swimming pools as well

But backtotalk ... abuse also MOSTLY takes place in the home, by trusted family members, in curtained rooms, at night, when no-one is around, and no-one ever sees.

This whole thread makes me think the National Curriculum needs to introduce a module on 'thinking straight'.

But if my DH was to retrain as a primary schol teacher he would be taking children swimming and going in the changing room.

What on earth do you think actually goes on in the changing room. There is very little time for anything, and certainly no handling of naked children as I said above I never even saw a naked child in 4 or 5 years of helping out and the girls were split from the boys.

Yes it does. So what? Shall we not bother with those lessons about strangers in the street then? Shall we not really bother with the idea that strangers or friends' parents might be involved? Because most abuse happens in the home, so there's no need to take precautions against abuse outside the home. And perhaps you're suggesting the abusers never leave the home?

Perhaps you should sign up for that module.

"I offered to go to" have you had a CRB check?

I don't think about it, I remember it. I remember sitting by, holding clothes and passing clothes, and letting children get changed themselves unless they were struggling and then you helped.

Not seeing a naked child in four years in a communal changing room when swimming costumes were taken off and clothes put on is an impressive achievement.

And -- so what about the girls being split from the boys. I would rather they were together up until say seven, for instance. Then all the parents are with all the children and the risk is minimised.

Yes I would have to make an exception for primary school teachers. But I would not want any teacher or parent alone in a changing room with naked children.

I'm not the OP. Why do you give up headbanger? Perhaps because you've run out of anything to say in response to my extremely sensible and cogent points.

Hmm... I have read all the thread but I am going to ignore a lot of it and put my tuppence worth in...

Safeguarding is a very hot topic in Schools currently and it seems to be very high on OFSTED's agenda.

However safeguarding is not only about keeping the children safe it is as much to do with adults that have contact with children (obviously other than their own) safeguarding themselves from situations that could be seen as "dodgy" and therefore open to allegations. Things like being the only two people in a room, investigating an injury that a child has reported in an area that would mean clothes need to be removed. That sort of thing.

Your child's school would of looked at child protection issues (safeguarding) with regards to using parent helpers and made sure that NO parent was ever left alone with a child. I personally don't see the issue with parents in the water, when there is going to be the class teacher & swim teacher either in the water or poolside in a public place.

nIO I didn't the ones that undress in the communal bit had towels round themselves and when they got older they changed 2 or 3 to a locker.

We don't knoiw what the changing rooms are like for the OP

You're not being sensible, just rather foolish.

sorry that doesn't read to well - have DS on my lap! {blush}

No, not foolish. Just not deluded.

TBH I can't see that many fathers responding with a sort of Closer/DM hysteria and self-righteousness if they were allowed poolside but not in the changing room. Mine wouldn't, I don't know, maybe yours are different.

It read very well YoMo and I thought it added something to the conversation, very much so.

I definitely see your point, but I think that adults do not have to be alone with children to carry out abuse.

It's the obsession with "naked" children by balktotalkaboutthis that bothers me

I don't think BTTAT is a troll or anything other than misguided

You are very odd. Children in a changing room will be naked and adults they don't know and you don't know will be with them. It is difficult and horrible to think of but some adults like this more than they should. It is a shame that we have to think about it but we do. It is better to accept it happens than pretend it doesn't, which is what used to be the cast. Implying that anyone who recognises that it happens, is themselves unhealthily interested is stupid.

"which is what used to be the case"

Pixie, by "alone" I mean the adult is alone. I don't think this is allowed however: because luckily there are people in the world, though obviously not on mn, who understand that precautions are needed for all concerned, as YoMo says.

It is a failure of argument and a last resort to throw a pointless accusation like bruffin's.

On another thread on a medical issue, a mother has been repeatedly told to trust her instincts, yet here one is told she is paranoid.

I briefly went to a martial arts class as a child. The instructor was creepy in my mind (although nothing concrete) and I quit. Years later, he was arrested for molesting children. It had gone on for years. At a small voluntary organisation I once was involved with, a volunteer (working with children) was arrested for distributing child pornography.

Obviously not all men who work with children are paedophiles, no-one is saying that. But paedophiles are likely to seek out positions of trust around children so it IS wise to be cautious. And working with computer security professionals has taught me that paedophilia is sadly far more common than you might think.

It's not paranoia. It's sensible to gently teach your children about inappropriate touching without scaring the bejeezus out of them or curtailing their activities too much.

But in this situation adults are not allowed to be alone with children, thats why they need helpers.
They need at least 4 adults to take a class swimming and most schools don't have the staff to release 4.
Yes abuse happens but I suspect there are a lot more riskier situations than this.

Carmen, I agree it is sensible to teach your children about inappropriate touching - but I think the OP is going waaaaay over the top.

Not only is she curtailing their activities, she is also separating her twins because she "knows someone who was abused by their brother" - I think that is terribly sad and the wrong message to give to her kids.

In this case I DONT think the OP should be trusting her own instincts - I think her views have been coloured by her own experiences (or at least by her friends experiences) and she needs to understand that, and maybe seek the appropriate help.

Bruffin unless you are willing to withdraw your stupid and offensive implication that I am over interested in the fact that children in a swimming pool changing room will be naked with adults they don't know then I see little point in taking seriously anything that you post.

An apology in your own time.