Am I being over paranoid?

[ponygirl17]

Tell me please if in the UK it is normal to send any parents who volunteer themselves to go to swimming sessions with 5-6 year olds to help in changing rooms and in the water with the kids?

Yes I do know him, yes I am allowed to have a bad feeling about someone, no I have not voiced my opinion to anyone, so I am not spreading rumours, and dh feels the same as I do.

Yes I do believe that abusers are absolutey more likely to offer their help in a situation like this , and no I do not think all men are abusers, but this makes it easy for those who are. And yse I do know women abuse, even teenagers, as I know of a 3 yr old who was abused by a 16 female babysitter. Maybe I know of too many instances involving abuse, but if my fear is founded than that is not actually being paranoid.

Schilke I agree it's tough but yes. That's what I think anyway.

Pony, scurry was pointing out, though not very clearly, that more abuse happens in the home.

Calm down, and don't talk it so personally. Nobody knows you, just calm down and don't get upset.

I think your concern is natural though tbh you do sound a little highly strung, unless that's just because of the horrible comments some have made. Just take a breath.

If I were in your shoes I would go to the teacher and explain that you need to insist on being in the changing room to settle your mind about things, because they aren't going to change their policy. Sad to say, but sometimes a man simply liking and being good with children can look "creepy" if you are not used to it. Do you think his behaviour can be interpreted like this?

I think it's really strange that the school would rather see your daughter out of swimming lessons than allow you to be a helper. A rota would be so much better than the same people every week.

I would also advise you to make sure your daughter learns to swim, and fast. She is already five and needs to be able to swim very soon.

oh bugger hully don't say that

i've wasted half an hour on it

what kind of a record does your trolldar have these days

backto - It looks like the do have a rota, hense the 'I offered to go to, but was only chosen for one session out of about 7' comment. OP is def trolling if she's saying the school let this 'strange' dad do all the sessions but her only one. IMHO of course.

I think BTTAT is starting to come round and talk sense (despite some dubious earlier comments).

OP, it is sensible to talk to your school about the concerns you have, even if they are in your head. They will reassure you about the protocol

No I stand by everything I said re men and changing rooms etc etc. Of course. Nothing that's been said on here would make me change my mind, there's been no cogent argument. In the sense that a collective "oh ffs" has never counted as a cogent argument with me

Jesus christ.

So let me get this straight - some idiots think that all men should be banned from helping out at swimming pools because it's just not safe to take the risk - they might be abusers after all. Yet the same idiots take offence if a suggestion is made that they themselves could be abusers - we never know, after all. It's really simple - if you can give it then you need to be able to take it. So if you're prepared to accuse random people of being child abusers based on the fact they are men/in close proximity to your child, then you can't really get offended when someone does the same to you. You might want to give that some thought.

The studies on levels of abuse committed by men/women have recently been reported to be massively flawed, and it is estimated that it could be as many as 25% of abuse carried out by women.

As for why phones have been banned in many places, I think you'll find a lot of that has to do with the recent conviction of a woman, who used her phone to take pictures of the children she was abusing.

I'm sorry I don't agree banning men from changing rooms. My dh takes our dds to callet and there are plenty of other dads there and girls getting changed. I find it really sad when people are so paranoid.

OP - perhaps your judgement has been clouded by your friends experiences. I, too, have been abused, but by my brother not by an outsider(hardly anyone in real life knows about it). I try very hard not to let my experience cloud my judgement of normality. I am a bit paranoid of one father of a girl in dd1's class, but I recognise it's my issue - he stands too close and doesn't give people their personal space. I can't jump to the conclusion he's bad news as there are plenty of women who stand too close and make me feel uncomfortable.

oh and I suspect backtotalk and op are the same poster.

backtotalkaboutthis - I am not a troll, I have been a member on here since 2003, when I had an ectopic pregnancy and then followed my whole twins pregnancy on here.

But it was a mistake to come back today, it was only a question, I will not make the same mistake again. Highly strung... what? I am only reacting to the absolute * nonsense of the replies I have had.

so thanks but no my kids will not be swimming, I had already made up my mind, unlike some people on here I have a real life and will stick to making my own decisions again... thanks.

Probably a good choice ponygirl17, statistically swimmers are more at risk from drowning than non swimmers....but that's another argument!

That's a shame

' It looks like the do have a rota, hense the 'I offered to go to, but was only chosen for one session out of about 7' comment. OP is def trolling if she's saying the school let this 'strange' dad do all the sessions but her only one. IMHO of course. '

Not that I have to explain, but there are 2 options, one for helping in the changing rooms and one for in the pool, most people obviously do not want to swim, it is outdoor, and not always very warm, so more people on the rota for the changing room, and only very few for swimming.

Ok?? I am not a bloody troll.

off you trot then pony. back to your copy of the daily mail.

apologies if the paedos in speedos comment upset anyone

"The studies on levels of abuse committed by men/women have recently been reported to be massively flawed, and it is estimated that it could be as many as 25% of abuse carried out by women."

That would be 75pc by men then.

Of course we're not the same person how self righteous of you to suggest it.