Am I being over paranoid?

[ponygirl17]

Tell me please if in the UK it is normal to send any parents who volunteer themselves to go to swimming sessions with 5-6 year olds to help in changing rooms and in the water with the kids?

Basically if you ask if you're paranoid on mn you're going to get a "yes you are" because everyone is so open-minded about adults and naked children together. It's seen as very ignorant, and you'll be accused of starting a lynch mob against a paediatrician any post now.

However it's clear from some of the feminist threads that many more cases of sex abuse happen than are ever reported. And as it's not that hard to take away some of the risk, one doesn't need to be Mary Whitehouse to think it's not a bad idea.

What evidence do you think she'd need? What do you think would count? Is there anything short of abuse that would count do you think?

Tell you what then,keep you child at home where it is safer(not)

Being creepy is not evidence! Ask the OP what makes her feel that way, not me.

Why would she do that? What are you talking about? Is that your only response to the points that most abuse (by far) is committed by men, that swimming pool changing rooms are one of the few socially available ways of being with naked boys and girls, and that it's not that difficult to have men at the poolside and not in the changing room?

Ok I had typed a long reply and then my battery went.... so sorry for the delay.

Right I never said I wanted to report someone for being creepy scurryfunge told me to.

No, I haven't lied about so many of my friends being abused, I am not some sick desperate cow trying to get attention, and no I do not need to see my gp , thankyou.

I have a genuine concern, and I never said I was completley right about this otherwise I wouldn't have asked the question in the frst place.

scurryfunge and ABatInBunkFive, it is because of rude people like you that I have not been on mumsnet very much in the last 5 years, because I do not enjoy having people digging and being horrible to others just because you are online. I never said I knew you, and quite frankly I am grateful that my friends are more gentle and tactful, there are other ways of getting your meaning across you know.

I volunteered to keep an eye on my kids not to abuse others, nice comment that, thanks.

And I havent accused anyone of doing anything, I just am very wary of putting my very young 5 years olds in this situation. BTW I have a ds and a dd in question, boys get abused too you know.

op....find another ballet class??

So you think, because she can't report it, she should just let her daughter be naked with this guy and not worry about it?

I don't believe for a second that the parent helpers will be left alone with the children anyway.

Maybe we should never go swimming just in case, or to the beach or go in the bath. Infact we are enabling the nasty abusers, if non of us had children they'd not be able to do it.

It's a slippery slippery slope

Pony, don't worry, it's not odd to be concerned. It's just a case of "oh we're right open minded we are and because you disagree there's something so wrong with you you need to see a doctor" etc etc.

'I volunteered to keep an eye on my kids not to abuse others, nice comment that, thanks.'

No different to any other the other parent volunteers, yet you accuse them of the same, what makes you immune?

Er no. It's not a slippery slope. It's a case of saying sorry, we can't have men in the changing rooms but we can have you at the poolside. Sorry if this offends, no aspersions, but that's the way it is.

Hardly rude, just expressing an opinion which you asked for. Nothing to do with being on line, would express the same advice in RL.

I told you to report if you have evidence that something untoward is going on...you don't, so you didn't.

What is it about this man that makes you uneasy, OP? Is it someone you actually know and have spoken to or does he just look creepy or weird? I'm not joining any 'lynch mob', I'm just wondering what's made you so worried about the situation. Do you just find it strange that men would volunteer to do this if they didn't have an ulterior motive?

Wouldn't stop women abusing them though, is that ok then?

What evidence is she supposed to have scurry? She'd have to catch him in the act. What a silly thing to suggest.

Men are far more likely to abuse than women. So the risk is smaller.

So if I'm working that means dh is not allowed to go and help dd2 get changed when she goes swimming with her recpetion class next year?

scurryfunge - 'Tell you what then,keep you child at home where it is safer(not) '

Are you saying my home is not a safe place to be??? Who the * do you think you are?

So now I m an abuser as I voluteered, and my home is unsafe?

Obviously some troll of a man who thinks this subject is funny.

THANKYOU backtotalkaboutthis, you are obviuosly someone with enough intelligence to understand the issue in hand.

But if you have no evidence, no facts to back up your hunch, why should the school be interested? Otherwise you could have a hunch over every man that volunteered to help out - there must be something specific?

by how much back to? Enought to exlcude all dads? I think not!

I helped out for 4 or 5 years swimming. I was in the changing rooms with the boys and girls and never saw any of them naked.

It's a very sad world where every man is painted a paedophile just because of tiny minority.

I don't think this subject funny. Far from it. I think the instilling of suspicion and fear into the next generation is a very serious matter indeed, and has far reaching consequences for future society.

Statistics ponygirl.

With the same judgement as you, I could accuse you of being a troll. You are the one who introduced a thread talking about knickerless ballet girls, etc. Don't be daft.

If you have no real reason to suspect this man other than you don't like the way he looks, that is quite sad. It's no wonder there are so few male primary school teachers if the general attitude is one of 'They must have some nefarious reason to want to be around children'.