I can't do this anymore

[ChristmasGrinch24]

My mother in law has stage 4 cancer, caught it late.
I've been running around non stop for two months straight while also caring for two kids with disabilities.im also unwell myself with a disability.

Shes now at the point where she's not well enough to be living on her own, and she's moved into ours. And I just cannot cope.
This morning she wet the bed, so I can to clean it up. She doesn't know where she is half the time. Shes at risk of falling.
It's to much. To much on top of my other caring responsibilities. I haven't showered in over a week.

My partners sister is the biggest selfish known to man, she doesn't give a shit. She doesn't even ring up to ask how she is.

I can't have her staying with us, it's just to much constantly, what can I do?

I have read every single post on this thread and have been invested in it since you started it over a week ago.

Oh sorry @Christmaseason my brain isn't working. 🫡

I wish I could, she'd rugby tackle me.

Why is your husband telling YOU to do it?

Why can't he do it?

As your your SIL.....I don't know what to say.

Apart from I wouldn't really care if she rugby tackled me, she's being an absolute moron.

She won't care for her mum, but she's not happy with what you're doing? Hhmm.

No, she wouldn't.

This is getting ridiculous. You need to call an ambulance, your MIL is actively dying without pain relief.

She has tramadol & morphine.....

Exactly, she wants her mum to die in my house. Shes actively said that.

Call an ambulance. T

@ChristmasGrinch24 can you and your kids go to MIL's house?
Leave your partner and his delightful sister to take care of THEIR mother themselves?

The op won’t do this. It’s shocking

If OP calls an ambulance, the SIL seems in the state of mind to call back and cancel it.

The answer to this issue is not a physical barney between DH, SIL and OP over MIL, which would be hugely distressing to all, especially MIL and to the 2/3 grandkids in the house to witness, and wouldn't actually move matters forward.

Tramadol and morphine are not the correct drugs for her now. She needs professional help probably a syringe driver. So cruel, please get help.

I am not sure of your background, but OP won't have prescribed these herself, so why do you say they aren't the right drugs? GP and district nurse are aware of the situation.

District nurse has said she is not eligible for daily visits, even if living at home. She will not yet meet the criteria for drugs that are given in the last few days.

@ChristmasGrinch24 throw your sil out of your house!! cheeky lazy barsteward!!! your partner needs to take the bull by the horns before your whole family falls apart!! she needs to be taken to hospital where they will find a bed for her!!!! you dont seem to realise that they always always always manage to find beds in these circumstances. you are not even getting help in the community!!!!

@ChristmasGrinch24 is this your house or your dp's house??? throw her out!! call the police to eject her or charge her for breech of the peace or assault if necessary!!

@allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld the last thing the OP wants, it seems, is to bring her MIL to A&E and have her languish there for hours, days even. And yes the SIL sounds impossible, but bringing the police in is hardly going to help matters!

OP has previously said it is a rental and given she and DP have two kids, I presume they have a joint lease. So how is she supposed to throw SIL out and what do you think the police will do if one person living in the house wants SIL to be there and SIL is not breaching the peace in any way.

What is the point of these outlandish comments?

From updates, the only real solution for you is to leave with your kids and go elsewhere, because from stupidity/grief/intransigence/whatever you are getting nowhere with your husband and SIL.

I feel extremely sorry for the dying woman in the middle of this, above everyone else, because she is being failed horribly by seemingly practically everyone involved.

ETA a safeguarding referral to social services would not in my view be uncalled for, for her, not anyone else.

Well done 👏 👏 👏. You are important. No one is advocating for you x

The dietician has pulled their care their side, and said I need to inform district nurses tomorrow to do another assessment via hospice as apparently that's what usually happens once dietician says there's no way forward with them.

DP would happily kick SIL out after her comments today, she was trying to get a hostipal bed set up in my lounge while we were out getting bits. I never agreed to that, I thought they would ask whose house is it.

However it's traumising for the kids to see their aunt kicked out, not to mention their cousin.

My eldest is also being referred for a ultrasound & biopsy on a lymph node that's gone hard and not gone down in 5 months and causing him severe headaches, they suspect it may be cancer this evening. So things aren't good.

I’m so sorry to read about the awful time you are going through.
Is there any way that your MIL can go back to her house (I think you said it was 10 mins away) and your DH and SIL stay there with her, so that you and your children get your home back. From what you’ve said it seems that it wouldn’t be for long as sadly your MIL seems to be deteriorating very fast.

You are having the worst time, OP. I hope your MIL gets a hospice bed very soon, a reassessment by the district nurses is urgent. So sorry.

Nope, SIL refuses to take her back to her house. She wants her to die here if can't get a hospice.
I'm not sure how id cope mentally if she died in my house. Just praying a palliative care bed comes available tomorrow.