Resentment of what parents did with their inheritance has wrecked our relationship

[MalePoster9000]

Parents are late 70s. I’m mid-40s.

I could go into details but it might be outing.

Anyway my mother always says “family is everything” but this has really not been reflected in any decisions / actions she and my father took with all that they inherited and didn’t need from the generation above them.

Anyone experience anything similar?

OP, reading the way your responses have changed over the course of this thread, I wanted to say well done to you for starting to take some of it on board.

It sounded to me as if being stuck in a victim mentality stems from the way you were treated in childhood by your dad, who made you into that when you were too little to be able to escape and gave a good dose of anxiety to boot.

But you're an adult and you can escape this position now. You don't have all the resources, emotional or financial, that you wish you had and that maybe you see others enjoying, but at the heart of it, what you have really lacked is a kind, supportive father who nurtured you. And maybe a mother who gave you some 'tough love' at times rather than mollycoddling you?

You are right to think about work, volunteering and friendships as a way to experience your life actively. But I would strongly suggest some psychoanalytic psychotherapy to explore the roots of this and enable you to get hold of your own agency and move forward.

Fwiw you remind me of one of my brothers. He managed to turn it round in his late 40s, just in time that he'll have a decent pension himself :) You can do this!