My mother is dying and I'm racing to get to her - no point to this thread.

[SphincterSaysWhat]

That's it really.

We're abroad and she's in the NE England. She has had a massive stroke and I'm alone, racing to the airport to get a flight I might miss.

I want to see her before she goes. She's no conscious.

My sister is with her.

My heart is broken into one million piece. No need to respond - I'm just alone (husband back at resort with the kids) so just chatting I suppose. I've had an hour sleep overnight, I look like an actual muppet (crying eyes).

She is 73 and a fire cracker. She's remarkable. My heart is broken.

Remember you are very lucky op. You love your dm and she loves you. That's a relationship to be very proud of. I hope you are with her now.

You’re doing everything you can, you didn’t leave her when she was Ill, don’t feel guilty, if it was my daughter racing to see me I’d hate her to feel guilty as I love her and know she loves me, your Mum will know. ❤️

A lot of strokes are fatal, they won’t write her off but there’s things you can’t fight.

OP my Father died suddenly recently the best advice I was given was by a friend who had lost her Father last year:

”Stop the should have/could have/would have”

Losing a parent is a massive life event. You don’t need to add to that by beating yourself up about things you feel you should, would have done. It would not have made this easier. It would not have reduced your pain now.

Your DM sounds amazing. Safe trip home and be kind to yourself.

My heart is breaking for you OP 💔 I hope you make it back in time 🙏 x

I really hope you make it in time. She knows you love her and you must hold on to that. Thinking of you xx

There's another hand to hold here and I'm rooting for you.

Handholding here too, I hope you make it to see her

Thinking of you. I didn't make it in time. I really hope you do.

holding your hand ❤️

thinking of you OP

What matters isn't now. It's all the love you shared before. Try to get to her, for your sake, but you've already done all the really important stuff over the years ❤️

The best advice I got in this situation, when berating myself was "What would your mum say if you told her all of this?" I promise you, she would not be criticising you, she would not be mad. When we picture our last moments we don't want them to be full of anger or regret, we want peace and acceptance and your mum will want you, in any form, to know you're loved by her.

Hoping and praying you make it in time, and sending love x

I'm so sorry, losing your mum is dreadful even if you had a difficult relationship 💐

Sending you love.

I’m currently sat in the hospital cafeteria waiting for my mum (alcoholic, elderly, very frail) to get back from theatre after a serious fall yesterday. She’s in a bad way and I don’t have much hope. My stomach is in knots. I’m going back up to the ward in 15 mins because the nurse said to go get a coffee and come back then.

Just sharing to let you know you’re not alone. My thoughts are with you x

Massive handhold OP.
My husband and his brother raced across the length of the UK this Monday to get to FIL. Same as your DM, massive stroke, unconscious but made comfortable.
They made it, said all they had to say, spent time in shifts in hospital with him and their mum.

They think he reacted when being told of grandchildren.
He passed away yesterday morning. They think he didn’t suffer but who can really tell? He was on morphine drip so there must have been an issue 🤷🏻‍♀️
Now, you have to take care of yourself. Be kind to yourself. And don’t worry. I always think people know that we love and care for them even when their body is failing. Lots of love.

It’s normal to have mixed up emotions at times like this. One emotion is anger but don’t direct it at yourself. You really need to take care of yourself at this time.
Most of us have busy lives and don’t spend as much time with our parents as we want, especially if we have to work with all the financial pressures at the moment.
We have all snapped at a loved one, so don’t feel bad about that either.
Take care OP 💐

My daughter and I irritate the fuck out of each other, but it doesn't dent the love between us. Forgive yourself and her for being human, OP. Sending hugs.

Your mum sounds fab OP. Remember even the royal family couldn’t get to the Queen on time with all of their resources and on the same island so nothing to beat yourself up for there. Plus your mum would probably go mad if she knew you were so stressed and frantic. You love her, she loves you and that’s all you need to know ❤️

Sending you all my love.

Id just landed in USA for a 2 week holiday when I got the same news as you. My wonderful dad had had a massive stroke - the doctor was asking me if I wanted him resuscitating.

My world collapsed. I flew straight home and dad lasted another 10 days. 10 days that I stayed by his side - the hospital were amazing and really looked after the whole family.

This was followed just 4 months later with the sudden loss of my Mum.

Both missed so very much but so like to think they are together and watching over me x x

I'm here. She is content, warm and comfortable. The syringe driver is set up and they're suctioning her on occasion. They've just wet her mouth with that stuff that acts as saliva.
Her poor face is bruised from the fall.
My sister is being amazing. She's just gone for some food (I still can't eat).
We're talking to her and about her and laughing together and crying too.
This is hard. I wasn't around when my dad died (mum nursed him through cancer - I was at uni).
She was doing so well. I am in shock I think.

Trip home was fine. Relatively uneventful. A nice chap at the airport dealt with me - he could tell by the look of me and the time I booked the ticket that there was something terribly wrong. He was so kind.

My head is banging. My eyes are wrecked. But I am here, where I belong.

Your messages give me strength, thank you, sisters x

I'm so pleased you are with her. Thank goodness you got there safely and in time to spend time with her.

I'm so glad you have made it. I've done that sitting hand holding and it was awful but I am so glad I was able to be there with my mum.
Sending lots of hugs.

I am so glad you made it. You are all in my thoughts.

I’m so glad you’re with your Mum and sister, OP. Exactly where you’re meant to be ❤️ Thank you for updating us. Sending you all love and strength x