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Elderly parents

Caring for elderly parents? Drop in for support, hand holding and whatever you need

992 replies

thesandwich · 04/04/2017 09:54

Continuing the long running threads for anyone juggling elderlies and everything else. Loads of wisdom, support and the odd laugh...
How are you all doing?
How is everyone coping with the extra teens with exam challenges?

OP posts:
yolofish · 19/01/2018 21:00

WAY past wine o'clock! DM home, doesnt have PE but does have new spinal collapse fracture. Pain bad, but been referred to some super duper new clnic - we will wait and see. District nuses stood down. If phone rings tonight - am too pissed to drive.

Needmoresleep · 19/01/2018 22:18

Yolo. Sympathy from me.

When this crisis is over is there any chance of you taking a break so you can clear your head and have a think. It's fine your mother wanting to continue living independent. But this is only happening at great cost to you. It can't go on.

yolofish · 20/01/2018 09:05

I'm away tomorrow night, with friends so that will be a short break. Then on Monday I have someone coming in re a daily home help for at least Mon-Fri. Working away on Tues so wont go that night. No chance of a respite on the evening visits tho unless I'm working/away. DB and SIL will prob come up again fairly soon, which will give me another break.

Even tho my DDs are grown and at uni there is still juggling with them - eg DD2 back for a few days and I want to see/do stuff with her, she's got exams coming up and gets very stressy. As for DH we are like ships in the night at the moment!!

wonkylegs · 21/01/2018 13:52

Yolo - hope you've had a nice short break
It does feel so all consuming

My weekend has thankfully been a little quieter. A GP did phone me back on Friday right at the end of the day but it wasn't her GP and although he was nice he wasn't particularly helpful except to say get her to phone for an appointment which she won't do as it's too confusing.
I have managed to get my dad (they are divorced but get on ok) to take her if I can make an appointment at the beginning of next week, I've briefed him & sent him some notes so now I just need to battle with the appointments system tomorrow.

yolofish · 22/01/2018 14:35

nice but exhausting night away - my charity won an award!! so much wine was taken... We are the Brighton Argus Charity of the Year 2017, which considering we are only 15 months old is pretty good going. Off to DM now to interview home help lady and no doubt do tidying up since I was there on Sat. wonky I hope you've managed to get appt sorted?

thesandwich · 22/01/2018 16:12

Congratulations yolo and wonky hope you got the appointment through today.

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picklemepopcorn · 22/01/2018 18:28

We lost dad this morning. He was in the hospice, and the staff were lovely. I'm looking after mum now.

Cheers all.

yolofish · 22/01/2018 18:33

oh pickle I am so sorry for your loss. xxx

AstrantiaMajpr · 22/01/2018 18:43

Pickle I am so sorry for your loss.🌷

notaflyingmonkey · 22/01/2018 20:49

Sorry for your loss pickle. Hope you are all doing as ok as you can Flowers

thesandwich · 22/01/2018 22:21

Oh pickle I am so sorry for your loss. He was in the best place. I know you have not been well yourself- let others do whatever they can. Take care of yourself. Thinking of you.
🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺🌺

OP posts:
Needmoresleep · 22/01/2018 22:33
Flowers
wonkylegs · 23/01/2018 07:51

Sorry for your loss Pickle Thanks

SuperDiaperBaby · 23/01/2018 08:44

Flowers for you and your mum

alwaysonthepiste · 23/01/2018 13:02

Flowers So sorry for your loss

picklemepopcorn · 23/01/2018 19:04

Thank you. Mum is doing really well. The hospice was marvellous- such a civilised way to say goodbye. We were privileged.

thesandwich · 23/01/2018 19:37

I am so glad that the hospice did what they do best- i’ve Been involved with our local one and it is a marvellous place. Take all the help and support they can give you. You did him proud.

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MoreCheerfulMonica · 24/01/2018 09:09

I'm so sorry for your loss, picklemepopcorn, but glad to hear that the hospice did so well. Flowers

yolofish · 24/01/2018 20:30

normal service resumed here. so, I bought her one of those keysafe things off Amazon. now that it has arrived she is convinced it will announce to everyone in the (extremely quiet) road that she is a Vulnerable Old Person and therefore muggers, rapists and psychopaths will gather at her door salivating madly. Have suggested DH mounts it on the wall behind the leg of the bench by her front door on the assumption that anyone who knows the code will be relatively able-bodied. This not good enough, as apparently just anyone can crowbar it off the wall (assuming they can find it) and hence we are back to salivating mad men. Is there any wonder I drink??

thesandwich · 24/01/2018 22:10

Have some more from me yoloGinWine
Pickle- thinking of you and your mum.

OP posts:
Willitbe · 25/01/2018 11:36

Is there room for one more here?! I am about to head to my mums GP to tell him that because I have been told by her to stop treating her like a child, that I am not running around after her, chasing everything she needs. But as a consequence she is now telling everyone that she only has a few days more medication, and she since she can't get it herself, she will just go without the medication.......

She wants me to go rushing over to get her medication and take it to her, which I would do without any hesitation, but if I do it, then she will throw in my face yet again, that I am treating her like a child and plotting to get her into an old persons home (I have no such plans!). My dh has been going in twice a week to her, offering to get her food etc, helping her move boxes, but she is stubborn and will not ask him to go get her medication, tells him that she is running out, but will not ask him to go get it.

The last time I saw her was two and a half weeks ago, I would normally go over twice weekly, but after only one week, (following my mum yet again telling me to stop treating her like a child and that she will do everything herself) , my mum had told my sister that "she has cut me out of her life", despite my dh going in to see her during that week, I can't take the pressure any more.

ARGGGGG!

Anyway I will go and see what the GP says. Thank you for listening to my moan!

Alonglongway · 25/01/2018 12:08

Do you have an option of a pharmacy delivery service?

yolofish · 25/01/2018 13:49

oh willit I feel your pain, she sounds a nightmare. Pharmacy delivery is a good idea, but someone still needs to take the scrip to the surgery - or we do here. I have also had the 'you want me in a home' routine... sometimes I find the idea very appealing!!

yolofish · 25/01/2018 14:02

sorry that was very rude of me to call her a nightmare, I was just trying to be sympathetic Flowers

Mightybanhammer · 25/01/2018 14:28

Hello all

I have my own separate thread about what is going on with me so won't repeat it all here.

What I will repeat is I am SICK of it all. The driving around, the bellowed conversations, the tussles with bureaucracy, the conflicting emotions it has stirred up ( I am not close to her really) the paperwork, the phone calls, the sheer bloody relentlessness of it.

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