Caring for elderly parents? Drop in for support, hand holding and whatever you need

[thesandwich]

Continuing the long running threads for anyone juggling elderlies and everything else. Loads of wisdom, support and the odd laugh...
How are you all doing?
How is everyone coping with the extra teens with exam challenges?

Hi I hope this may ring some bells with someone.
My dad has started walking leaning forwards. He says he feels like he has to run to catch up with himself.

He went on a long walk last week. and arrived home concussed with serious facial injuries.
We are not sure if he passed out or stumbled into something that caused the concussion. A+e patched him up and sent him home. He has follow ups for his face but no one seems interested as to why he blacked out in the first place.
Just wondered if anyone had experienced anything similar.

Yolo so glas she is being looked after- and don’t feel guilty at all. You need to refuel.
Pananny sorry no idea? Has his gp seen him?

11.15 phone rings, your mother is free to go please come and collect her.
12.00 reach hospital delayed because of fuckwit roadworks
12.30 leave hospital after cannula removed, extra scrip because blood pressure thru roof, can I inject her stomach with klexane everyday with further notice (got lesson on how to do that) plus antibs for chest infection.
12.45 argument with fuckwit roadworks man who gives me stress because of mispositioning on roundabout - did not give same shit to man in front of me in exactly the same situation.
12.50 DM announces "oh they really wanted to keep me in for the night but so much nicer to be at home"
1.25am I get in, having put her to bed with every possible worldly comfort and pour extra big glass of wine.
FUCK FUCK FUCK.

Pananny that sounds like he could possibly have Parkinson's, suggest he sees his GP to rule it out.

Oh, yolo, what a mess. Unless I've misunderstood, you live some distance from your mother. How are you going to manage the daily injection?

and more handholding

Oh yolo! What a nightmare. I am so sorry. Can you get someone else to do the injections? Sending

Thank you all. Dad fell/collapsed on Friday. Ambulance to a+e. Concussed, knocked top teeth out. Bottom teeth through lip nose split from top to bottom. stitches inside and out. Lost a lot of blood. Sent home 6 hours later. Dr cant see him til next week. So just wondered if anyone had any thoughts about things we could look into before then. sorry to read your problems Yolo. It always seems to be assumed that there is someone fit and healthy in the same house who can do the care. I hope you get something sorted. Would the injections fall under district nurse remit?

Yolo, you must be shattered! I hope today goes better, and that the injections don't cause problems. I'm surprised they sent her home! Just shows how stretched the resources are.

Dad is very near the end now. No more talk of moving him to a nursing home. I can't get done there just yet, as I've been poorly and am not well enough yet- either to drive or to look after anyone when I get there. Hopefully in a day or two I'll be in a better position, and still in time. In the meantime though, there is no one really looking after my mum. She isn't eating well, etc. If I miss seeing Dad in time, I can cope with that, but Mum needs me.

Pananny I'm no expert, but positional stability is a problem for older people. The core muscles lose strength and they can't support themselves any more. Can you look up local seated exercise classes, or postural stability classes? Age concern should know where they are and any other helpful resources.

Ridiculous processes. Phoned GP surgery to ask if district nurse team could visit for daily injections - told that A&E should have arranged that. Phoned A&E (over an hour to get through), spoke to nurse in charge - no it's the GPs job, they should give you district nurse phone no. Phoned GP, it's lunchbreak, finally get through, can I have district nurse number? yes of course.... Phone district nurse, oh no we need a buff form and a referral from the GP. Phoned GP, can they arrange buff sheet and referral form and email to district nurse team this afternoon so district nurse can visit DM tonight. NOW they are on to it - why not just do it in the first place???

She doesnt want me to give injection, I dont want to give them, and she cant do it herself - hands too weak. Spoke to her on phone, she wishes she was dead as pain so bad. Now got to go and pick up scrips for the bloody injections and the blood pressure pills and drop them in to her. Taking DD2 with me for protection!!

pickle that all sounds really tough on you - sending you the tipple of your choice.

Just for the record they wanted to keep her in but the stubborn old bat refused - thus transferring burden of care to me, thanks mum.

pananny we have a thing round here called the Falls Clinic which looks at reasons for falling and ways to make it less likely - worth investigating? I'd also push for a home visit for your dad, ridiculous that the GP cant see him for so long esp with concussion. I have found that being very polite but pretty direct works well. good luck.

sorry me again. We almost need a kind of grid of where to go for what info/advice eg falls a, b and c, dementia d, e and f...

yolo, is there a rainy day money fund?

If so agency care workers are often trained to, and certified for, giving injections. (Or at least my mum's carer is - something I did not know until my mum needed injections post hospital discharge.) Ring round and see if there is someone who can make a short call each day?

That's a good idea, yolo. I don't know if MN supports that kind of document though. Maybe a resource thread, where people add a resource and the issues they support. We can then all contribute, and all scroll through and find what we need. We'd need to be disciplined- no chatting on the thread, and maybe specify what area of the country the resource is based, as s9me will be specific to particular regions.

Pananny Here a referral to the falls team is automatic if you've been to A&E. They visited my MIL and left her with a sheet of exercises to strengthen various leg muscles. She has a follow up visit from someone every month or so. She's not exactly committed to the programme but I remind her whenever I see he and she grudgingly invests five minutes twice a day.

yolo did something similar with my DM a couple of years ago, our local district nurses are now run by Virgin. Didn't think much of it (other than grrrr) until my phone bill came - each appointment had to be made by phone. Their number was a premium rate. Cost me a bloody fortune. Bastards.

different day same shit. A&E called me at 7 to say they were reviewing xrays and v concerned. DM was ambulanced in and immobilised, arriving at hospital about 8.45, I got there 9.15. Then waited 3 hours for CT scan - DM still immobilised - and 2 more hours for results. Then sent her home with me... what they were concerned about would have been very serious so it was the right thing to do, but fuck me 2 days in a row?? having wine now and then going to bed and having a bloody lie in.

Do you have a life, Yolo? How are you managing?

Thank you everyone. Yes he was referred to falls clinic through a+e. They said there is a very long waiting list. I dont think they have an indication of time. My mum was with him and was anxious and doesn't hear to well.
I cant get him to Dr before his appointment now as I work nights and they are over a 2 hour round trip that needs to fit within the school day. I have organised childcare or next week. I will chase falls clinic too. I am worried that it is something to do with blood flow. Heart or mini stroke that caused the black out that just isn't being investigated.

Hope your day is better Yolo

Yolo

pananny will GP not do a home visit?

ups and downs here today - slept til 10.30!! then mum not answering phone so went round - she didnt have hearing aid in. district nurses coming to do injections. waiting for date for fracture clinic and for another ct scan to establish whether or not there is a clot on her lung. meanwhile she is being treated as if she has, and also for chest infection and high blood pressure.

after lunchtime visit DD2 and I and the dog went to the pub for lunch!! now I need to get some work done... thank you for kind words and flowers, back at you all.

Had another trying morning
Should have know that only one message yesterday meant trouble was coming
Mums home help phoned to say he was very concerned about her. She was very confused about what day it was yesterday and what she was supposed to be doing, he checked for me and she isn't taking her meds and she confided in him that she hadn't been to the dentist appointment (she had told me she had) because she didn't know what it was for (regular check ups because she has awful teeth and she doesn't look after them, she was crap before the Alzheimer's), he phoned the GP to get them to talk to her but they didn't phone back before he needed to leave so doesn't know what happened with that.
She phoned him this morning leaving messages about when was he picking her up - he's not supposed to see her today and when he tried to phone back there was no answer.
I have spent all morning phoning to see if I could get hold of her or if somebody could finally my brother phoned back and says he's just spoken to her she's been in town all morning (which is unusual and not in her routine) he wanted me to book her a taxi for her afternoon class and said he'd try to go see he sometime this weekend (he lives an hour away rather than my 6hours) but told me to txt him the details and he would phone her because "it was easier" no idea why but he was insistent she's fine- I've booked a taxi and texted him.
I phoned her anyway as I wanted to know if she'd spoken to the GP, had a random conversation with her that made little sense about her sorting out the wrong medication (she doesn't have the wrong meds she just regularly thinks she does) - she said they were phoning her back tomorrow.
I thought this unlikely so phoned the GP, receptionist was lovely and said she would get the GP to phone me back later.
My brother seems to think nothing is wrong buts she's clearly more confused than usual and I'm worried about her wandering especially as it's so cold at the moment, combined with her not taking meds.
My brother is anti medicine and quite resistant to social care help / NHS, he hates the 'system' - so we don't exactly see eye to eye on what to do next.
Glad she's turned up but now just worried about what the next drama will be, she seems to be going downhill so regularly - hope the GP can help.
Going to need a strong drink by the end of the day!

Sorry that was a mammoth one

oh wonky that sounds so incredibly stressful, esp long distance. no advice, just wanted you to know I am tinking of you.
DM called for emergency CT scan this pm (for the possibly non-existent lung clot) - luckily for me I was out with DD2, so got back to go round to hers in time for taxi to pick her up. DD2 and I then spent an hour and a half cleaning and tidying... best discovery was a pack of sauce in the cupboard from 2001!!!! will go round again when she calls to say she home from hospital.

Wonky- that sounds awful. Really hop e gp can help but it’s so hard if siblings aren’t on the same page.
Yolo- hope things get sorted for your Mum.
It’s it wine o’clock yet?