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Elderly parents
Original poster

Deteriorating again in hospital

182 replies

Theas18 · 11/01/2015 18:32

Argh.
Mum was ok on fri having gone in xmas eve. Plans afoot to get her back on wafarin after the weeken and home ASAP.

Yesterday coughing lots and mysteriously on oxygen. Sta,paed my foot a bit and insisted on seeing a doc. What point is " they'll be here Monday " ? No that not ok. She's not okNOW ! Anyway. Seen and xrayed " don't think its infection ".... Yeah right

Today she's much worse. Away with the faries ( not her at all) scrabbling at the bedding etc. Had oral antibiotic at 3pm but thatsnt going to work fast enough is it? Awaiting more bloods and another doc review.

Darent leave. :(

OP posts:
MrsMot · 09/02/2015 07:24

Hope you get the answers you want today Theas. Fingers crossed they apply some common sense!

twentyten · 09/02/2015 16:16

Hope you got the answers you needed. You must be shattered. BrewBrew

MrsMcGregor · 09/02/2015 23:20

Good luck for tomorrow. I hope you can sort something out with the Consultant. I'd have a word too about the nurses' attitude to your Dad's visit .... whatever happened to compassion? It must be hard for your sis to leave.

Original poster
Theas18 · 11/02/2015 12:18

Well looks like things are going head to get her home. Care agency going to asess her today.

Have made space for bed, then realised carer needs a seat/ access to kitchen etc. So more to do later.

OP posts:
twentyten · 11/02/2015 12:48

How are you both doing? Does the hospice offer hospice at home? Look after yourself- thinking of you.

Original poster
Theas18 · 11/02/2015 14:56

I'm ok twenty, tired but ok. Will see mum in a bit.

The set up we will have looks like hospice at home but by another name. It's a mostly nurse lead service . Mum doesn't have much in the way if symptom control needs at present which is good. She just need to be cared for where they don't boss her about or tell her what she can,ir can't do! ( eg when she can go back to bed or if she can drink gin!). She has care/ supervision needs but I think these aren't "demanding" as care needs go, at least at the moment.

OP posts:
Needmoresleep · 11/02/2015 15:46

I have a nice vision of your mum at home wearing a gilet and drinking gin. Quality of life must be the aim and hopefully much easier at home. I hope you can enjoy some good and peaceful time with your mother.

Original poster
Theas18 · 12/02/2015 00:07

Thanks needmore. Mum was away with the fairies today. Hope home and gin brings her back a bit - it's so not right her bring confused.

( though the phone wants away with the dairies which would be even worse!)

We look like all systems go for home tomorrow afternoon with our own live in " Mary poppins for the elderly" 24hr live in carer.

Except no one told me it was live in till 5.30 so finding a bed and a bedroom floor was a challenge. No chance of storage space lol

OP posts:
twentyten · 12/02/2015 07:46

Oh thea. So much to sort- you must be frazzled. Hope the move goes ahead and goes well- getting home will mean so much to your mum. Hope it goes smoothly. BrewBrewTake care

Original poster
Theas18 · 12/02/2015 11:01

Thanks twenty. About to drive back over having hit home last night to work this am. frazzled is about right. Hoping to get home again Saturday. That goodness for unlimited internet on phone that's all I'll say.

Hope the carer is the Mary Poppins for the elderly I think she will be :)

I can't see how living in caring for weeks doesn't kill you, they must be tough cookies!

OP posts:
Original poster
Theas18 · 12/02/2015 17:43

Argh!

Not home. No carer available today. And my moan to the coordinator revealed that she didn't know it was a sleep in carer either and mums needs require a waking carer at night

OP posts:
twentyten · 12/02/2015 18:10

Oh no! SendingWine. You must be so frustrated.

Original poster
Theas18 · 12/02/2015 20:28

Well I've been and stocked the fridge etc and cooked a couple of batches of yummy soup as well. Love my soup maker in the cramped cluttered kitchen !

OP posts:
MrsMcGregor · 12/02/2015 20:35

Oh no .... any commitment as to when they will have something sorted out?

Original poster
Theas18 · 12/02/2015 20:39

They say it should be fine for tomorrow...we'll see. I've booked a gp visit and everything :(

OP posts:
MrsMcGregor · 12/02/2015 21:21

Fingers crossed.

ajandjjmum · 14/02/2015 08:01

Hope your plans have worked out Thea.

Original poster
Theas18 · 14/02/2015 10:40

Well she's home !

Some hopefully teething issues with care. Initially just given 24hr live in but I agitated and they added waking night care - just as well as she was up ever 30 mins eating / drinking / loo etc.

We are changing carer Monday as she's v sweet but inexperienced - connected mum to an off oxygen machine when I popped out today ! Also a devout Muslim, which I have no issues with apart from disappearing to pray 5x a day for 10 mins plus - that's not full time care is it?

OP posts:
YoungGirlGrowingOld · 14/02/2015 10:47

Hi Theas

Been following the thread. Close to my heart as we are caring for MIL at home (with carers) after a menangioma.

Disappearing to pray that frequently and leaving your DM alone is not on at all. (DH is Muslim and a hospital doctor and he agrees!) The most challenging thing for us has been getting on top of the carers. It's not a great job, I know, but most of ours are off sick at least once a week and we are often left without cover. Hopefully this is just teething trouble, as you say.

[Flowers] - you are taking such good care of her.

twentyten · 14/02/2015 11:15

So glad you got her home thea. You are doing the very best you can. You must be exhausted. Look after yourselfThanksThanksThankswell done.

Original poster
Theas18 · 14/02/2015 12:58

Changing carers Monday. I'm going to be less accepting and thankful and more pushing for what to expect. At 11.40 she went for "a break" as she was tired. It's now 12.51......

I've repositioned given drinks sorted O2 and go her in the chair etc.

I understand she might not have had a good night , but neither did I andshes got the comfy accessible bed ! It isn't that she's been on the go all morning either. Mum has breakfast and a shower then went back to sleep for 2+hrs !
The night chap seemed fine though. Sadly we only keep him till Monday.

Interestingly she's written nothing in her care log. Night guy has times and what happened / was done each time care needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Theas18 · 14/02/2015 13:01

YoungGirl thank your dh for his input re praying. I am worried I'm bring unfair to her but it's leaving her without care like this break is. She did say call if you need me, but I wonder what she would have one if I wasn't here- mum has needed significant " care" in that time and St no pint would have thought it been able to call.

OP posts:
PingPongBat · 14/02/2015 14:18

Goodness Theas18 it doesn't get any easier, does it? In my short experience of carers for the elderly, I get the impression that as soon as there's a relative around they have a tendency to think - oh it's OK, there's someone there so I'll disappear for a bit / let them get on with it. I'm probably being completely unfair as I know there are a lot of wonderful carers out there, but I've found this too many times in just a week & a half of mum being in the NH.

You must be exhausted. Hope you at least get time for a Brew and a break.

Original poster
Theas18 · 14/02/2015 16:33

My hanks pingpong. Going to hide in my bed after I've sorted the washing I think!

OP posts:
ajandjjmum · 14/02/2015 19:00

I'm sure there are some wonderful carers - sadly I've never come across them. Sad

I just hope that next time my PIL need help, they get one of them, as it's really tough to care from 200 miles away.

Difficult work I know.