Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Education

Join the discussion on our Education forum.

Original poster

Music Scholarship disappointment - how to handle?

165 replies

Polishedshoes · 01/02/2019 20:54

I have namechanged for this as I don't want to out myself....

My DS12 has just been rejected to a music scholarship....my worry is how this will affect his involvement with music at the same school, going forward. As the school dished out 25 scholarship and decided he wasn't good enough, will this mean he will be excluded from all the opportunities and that I should look for another school?

He lives and breathes music and is always found at the piano or composing or at some type of music activity. I am dreading telling him and how to handle this and would welcome any positive stories.....he isn't just someone who enjoys playing for fun, music is literally his life...I would appreciate some advice - please be gentle!!

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 01/02/2019 20:59

There are so many ways of making a career in music without a scholarship. Even without a GCSE.
It really isn't the end of the world.
Reassure your DS that this is not the end of his dreams.
Music is in his soul and he will always be a musician.

One of my DC is a professional musician and dropped GCSE music because it was absolutely dire at school.

endofthelinefinally · 01/02/2019 21:01

Encourage him to get involved in music outside school. There are clubs, bands, orchestras - you just have to look.

Original poster
Polishedshoes · 01/02/2019 21:01

Thank you so much...you are right nobody can take that away from him, I just feel really sorry for him...……….!!!

OP posts:
LynetteScavo · 01/02/2019 21:04

If you don't tell him will he know?

Is there more advantage to a scholarship than a reduction in your fees? Sorry if I'm being ignorant, but I might brush over it. Is he already at the school?

endofthelinefinally · 01/02/2019 21:04

Honestly - some schools stifle creativity.
They don't deserve him.
Sometimes the stuff they do outside school is very freeing.
What instrument does he play?
Does he compose?

GU24Mum · 01/02/2019 21:04

Sorry for your son OP. Were there 25 music scholarships or 25 scholarships in general?

The level of music needed for a music scholarship seems to be incredibly high at most places so it could well be that your DS is great and very musical - but that there are others the same who have notched up higher grades so they have to give the scholarships to them.

Hope he'll be pleased to get a place at the school though and that that will be a bit of a consolation.

Couchpotato3 · 01/02/2019 21:05

Does your DS play any instrument other than piano? Some schools don't tend to give scholarships for piano, because pianists don't usually play in orchestras, bands etc - they may do plenty as soloists, but they are not seen as team players who contribute to group activities. I highly doubt any school would exclude a motivated student from joining in musical activities just because they weren't a scholarship holder (and if they did, I'd certainly be looking to change!)
Is it possible your DS is less disappointed than you? Don't feel sorry for him, just encourage him to carry on enjoying his music and taking up any other opportunities that come his way.

MrsChollySawcutt · 01/02/2019 21:08

Talk him about people who were overlooked but have gone on to excel in their field.

I recently heard the actress Maxine Peake talkjng about meeting her best friend (also an actress) when they both auctioned for drama school in Manchester. Neither of them got in, in fact Maxine didn't get accepted anywhere despite auctioning for multiple places. She didn't let it hold her back and she is now a highly regarded and successful actress.

There are plenty of similar examples in music.

RomanyRoots · 01/02/2019 21:09

OP, did you receive any feedback, was it down to grades passed?

endofthelinefinally · 01/02/2019 21:11

A classmate of DC got a music place at a selective school.
That controlled his entire school career and he was under pressure constantly to go on every music trip, play in every band and orchestra.
In the end he was exhausted by it all.
As long as your DS can enjoy his music and have some opportunities he will be fine.
My child set up a jazz band and they were very successful.
When child dropped GCSE music the school wouldn't let them perform with the band any more.
It was the school's loss.
They will be kicking themselves now.

CrumpetsAndWine · 01/02/2019 21:16

Scholarships at schools are rarely purely based on talent.

They may have wanted children who played certain (rarer) instruments, or may have had a child whose parents were struggling and they knew would have to leave if they didn't get a scholarship, even if that child wasn't necessarily the best.

Focus on his love of music and that this arbitrary judgement on his worth musically will really not matter in the long run - and will give him more freedom to dip in and out of the school music groups he wants to rather than being obligated to do things as a music scholar.

MollyHuaCha · 01/02/2019 21:23

Pianists are often overlooked when it comes to music scholarships. Schools want orchestral instruments.

Original poster
Polishedshoes · 01/02/2019 21:30

The absolute worse part that, despite writing to them to request it, I received no feedback whatsoever.

DS1 composes loads and a wide variety but mainly orchestral. He presented a huge portfolio. He is also grade 8 piano, grade 7 violin and grade 7 singing. He plays in loads of orchestras, quartet, sings in choir has performed loads. Not sure what else they could be after really.

OP posts:
Original poster
Polishedshoes · 01/02/2019 21:32

The fees part is not the issue really. Is the fact that they gave out 25 MUSIC scholarship and despite all of his music he got nothing - no scholarship, no feedback. I feel that he will be excluded from most things as with 25 scholars x year I am not sure why they would want to include much of other non music scholars.

OP posts:
MollyHuaCha · 01/02/2019 21:35

What a shame for him. There must be another reason - maybe his academic record or general behaviour?

Or maybe some of the successful scholars' parents are making nice little donations towards the new music block the school has planned but is currently short of money for...

Genevieva · 01/02/2019 21:38

I sympathise. It must feel a bit like a kick in the teeth not to have your son recognised. There are all sorts of possible reasons. They may have prioritised a different type of musical talent, such as students to join their orchestra rather than your son's piano and composition skills. Scholarships can be a bit of a box ticking exercise so the school can demonstrate fairness, but genius doesn't conform to boxes, with the result that scholarships often miss the truly gifted. I think your son should look at this as a challenge - by the time he leaves he will have proven that he has the musical talent and dedication. One day he might even be a successful professional musician who enjoys telling others how his school failed to recognise him.

bsc · 01/02/2019 21:38

But is the scholarship just music lesson fees? (Because that was the case at our school) Perhaps they feel he doesn't need them, and others are in more need to meet their potential?

Original poster
Polishedshoes · 01/02/2019 21:38

You won't believe how reassuring and comforting this thread has been. I am starting to put this into perspective before I tell DS. I just needed to get a grip myself before I help him to deal with it!

I think you are all right about the orchestral element..it was probably a big part of it. Also you are right about the commitment, at least he is free to compose and can drop a few orchestras if he doesn't want to go. I just hope they continue to support him in some way!!!!

OP posts:
EhlanaOfElenia · 01/02/2019 21:41

Do they feel he's spread himself a bit thin? Maybe he's too good at too many things?

Is this a normal secondary school that does a lot of music, or is it a specialist school?

Genevieva · 01/02/2019 21:42

Just seen your son's grades. Wow! I am lost for words. Is he at the school already or is this for September? I would be having serious conversations with the school about how they will provide for his musical education, to ensure he won't be disadvantaged as a non-scholar. I might even look elsewhere...

LtGreggs · 01/02/2019 21:43

Are you going to go in and ask them how/if it will affect his ability to be involved in music in school? I would do. Say clearly to them what you want the outcome to be.

OlennasWimple · 01/02/2019 21:43

I know it's a tough lesson at an early age, but anyone involved in teh creative arts has to develop a very very thick skin and learn to deal with rejection, because absolutely everyone will get turned down for things that they have applied / auditioned for.

endofthelinefinally · 01/02/2019 21:44

Ah yes. The donations to the music department.
He is free to develop his own style and enjoy his music.
He will be able to have a successful career. We need musicians.
I agree he needs to just be determined to succeed in spite of this set back.
AND he can make the point that the school didn't support him.
That was certainly a factor in my DC's determination to succeed.
I know it is hard and a disappointment, but it could also be an opportunity.

Original poster
Polishedshoes · 01/02/2019 22:07

Yes I am going in to get detailed feedback and find out how he will be supported. I have already written to them to that effect!

He isn't at the school yet, he is joining in September. He already has a place at the school gained on academic merit, so it's not that...my gut feeling is the orchestral component but I will gauge more on that when I talk to them. You are all right, we just need to move forward to see how this is going to work for him now....

OP posts: