Music Scholarship disappointment - how to handle?

[Polishedshoes]

I have namechanged for this as I don't want to out myself....

My DS12 has just been rejected to a music scholarship....my worry is how this will affect his involvement with music at the same school, going forward. As the school dished out 25 scholarship and decided he wasn't good enough, will this mean he will be excluded from all the opportunities and that I should look for another school?

He lives and breathes music and is always found at the piano or composing or at some type of music activity. I am dreading telling him and how to handle this and would welcome any positive stories.....he isn't just someone who enjoys playing for fun, music is literally his life...I would appreciate some advice - please be gentle!!

That's all very true...I can't wait to see how it will all pan out, if only I had a magic lantern!!!

Op, I do think you need to check with the school that he will have plenty of opportunities to pursue and enjoy music in school.

What if it does turn out to be like Petra’s (?) Dd’s School where non-scholars are ignored, musically?

Would it still be the school for your son?

You need to check.

I do agree with OnTheHop that you should check. The school's website should have evidence of lots concerts and activities

I also second EtonBigots suggestion of trying for the Eton Scholarship at 16, if your DS is interested nearer the time. The music department at Eton is amazing, and anyone who wants to get involved in anything or any type of music is given all the help and encouragement possible, and plenty of opportunities to spread their wings, what ever their level.

This young man was probably the best musician in the school when DS was there, but he very much represented the top of the pile. There were many extremely talented young men whose talents lay in many different areas. Not all of them bothered much about exams either.

I heard him play this piece in a small music room, and it was three days before my goose bumps went down!

Is this the Eton Music scholarship? The requiements are much higher than G8 piano and G7 violin. Probably only two positions for pianoist. Last year's pianoist who got scholarship passed G8 piano with distinction when he was 8 year's old.

But Eton Only gives 8 scholarships each year. Last year Only 7 as one of the applicant decline the offer. Add other music award might make It to total number of 25. I knew handful of JD kids applied this year.

I am going to leave this thread now, as it was originally about how to help me handle ds' disappointment and this is therefore done.

Thank you to everyone who has contributed, I found the advice invaluable and very supportive.
I hope other people will find this thread useful too.

OK, OP, and I am glad he was not upset.

But please, in your general excitement about the school, check that non music scholars can be part of the ensembles, concerts etc.

Otherwise he could conceivably feel very alienated.

I will definitely do that, and yes I agree 👍

@Polishedshoes I'm sorry to hear that your DS didn't get the award he wanted. However I have to say that there seems to be a massive influx of children from China/S Korea/Singapore and Hong Kong coming into the UK system at 13+ (which I assume your DS was applying for). They will have started playing with serious tuition from the day they were old enough to sit at an instrument and will have been expected to practice for many many hours a day from a very early age. I have a DC at one of our specialist schools and one of her class mates is from S Korea where she was home schooled in order to accomodate her 10+ hours a day of practice. Frankly any UK kid who has had any form of normal upbringing is unlikely to be able to compete. I also know of one child from the Far East going into a major London day school at 11+ with a licentiate. (Forgive me if I'm teaching my grandmother to suck eggs but that used to be a final year undergrad level qualification.)

I would think very carefully about applying to Chethams et al as they seem to be increasingly keen on these hot housed non-UK kids than they used to be and are rejecting a lot of the home grown children with potential they would have been happy to accept even 5 years ago. IMO it is bloody lazy......

What I would say and what I tell my DC is that music is a privilege not a competition and that in the "real working world" of music no one is looking for large numbers of concert pianists and solo violinists. They are more interested in people who can collaborate with others and for those like my DC where a keyboard instrument is the first study there is a big market out there for accompanists etc.

I would also VERY strongly encourage the organ it is one of the most lucrative gigs around - once your DC has mastered pedals and can play hymns he will be able to rack up £50-60 for an hours work on a Sunday morning. (Get him to look at the Philip Norman website.) Also if he is academically bright and wants to study music/composition etc then being in a position to apply for an organ scholarship at Oxford or Cambridge will massively lower the odds on him getting in.

If he is going to be a day pupil in London he ought to look at the likes of Junior Guildhall which has a great piano programme and is linked to St Giles organ school in the Barbican and offers fantastic courses in conducting and composition etc for older students.

I've actually been quite circumspect in what I think here so feel free to PM me if you want a longer/franker discussion.

@Londonmummy66
This is a zombie thread and moreover, the OP refers to a Chetham's Summer school course...

Argh how could I be so stupid..................

This must be some ultra competitive school. Where we live it is grade 3 at age 11 and grade 5 at age 13. Grade 8 is amazing! And there would be no more than a handful of music scholarships in a year.

Arrg this thread is from 2019!

My son didn't get a scholarship in year 7 which was very upsetting as he was passionate about music, played piano, violin and sang. He spent every minute of his spare time in choir or orchestras. Most of the others who got the scholarships were not of a higher grade than my son and did not play in anything like the number of choirs or orchestras. At the time, it made me doubt my son and wondered if perhaps he was quite a rubbish musician and that perhaps I should try to redirect him towards something else that he might be good at. I am so glad I didn't do this and he continued with his music. He is now in Year 11 and has continued to work hard. He may not be the best musician out there, but he lives for music and it would be hugely damaging to take that away from him.

Don't let the school's decision make you question your child. If they don't value your child, is this school the right place for them. If music is very important to your child, perhaps you should look at other places out there that will value them for their passion and hard work.

If the other musicians at the school that gained the scholarships are not of a higher grade or more committed, you are likely to find they have pushier mums or wealthy parents or good musical connections that influenced the decision.