Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

I agree, I can eat a lot but if it isn't a binge I'm happy. I am also trying to sort out the binge and address the rest later. The joy I get from the not binging is so good. Binging brings me so much pain and negativity.

Had porridge for breakfast with honey and some chocolate oat biscuits for lunch. Feeling a bit better today.

Hoping for a good day for everyone

Yes. Wishing everyone a good day too.

How has everyone's day been?
I had oatbran, blueberries and yoghurt for breakfast, salmon omelette for lunch and just had chicken enchiladas for tea. No veg except pepper in enchiladas.
I had a florentine too.
Quite happy with my day. So far!!

I realise salmon omelette sounds weird but it was delicious!

I've eaten a lot of crap. But it's not going to get me down. I will not always eat sensible amounts or sensible choices. Maybe tomorrow will be a healthier day.

I love salmon and I love omelettes so sounds good to me.

I didn't binge today.

It was ds's actual birthday and he wanted a chippy tea with ice cream after. So not the healthiest but I ate slowly and mindfully and enjoyed a normal portion. No binging and it wasn't an effort actually. In fact I was full and only had a small ice cream cone after, normally I would pile my cone up as high as I could, but I remembered the last time I did that and felt sick so i had a small but enjoyable amount. And nothing after all evening

I had eaten lighter at lunchtime knowing I wanted to be hungry at dinner. 3 meals today with normal portion sizes. I count that as a win.

I also found old trousers of mine that I thought would never fit me but they did and I felt quite good in them. Kind of capri type trousers that fit well and flatter my shape. Felt good.

Well done!!

I bought a rockyroad today. I ate all.of it but it was really quite horrible and I almost threw it away.
Progress!!

It's a thought process first I think. There's the possibility that you could have thrown it away. If that thought doesn't even come into your mind the it can't turn into an action.

I have had another day when I haven't binged. 3 meals. I've decided to not have the snacks between each meal. I seem ti be able to last at the moment without binging at the meal.

Still got the thought that I have to actively stop eating at each meal though. I'm always a little disappointed it's over. Even when I've eaten slowly. But, when I do listen to that voice I realise that I'm full and I don't need any more food. I sometimes think my mouth could eat more but my belly is full. If i try to focus on my belly and not my mouth then I can see I don't need any more food.

No such a good day for me today. Woke up a bit annoyed, then my son shouted at me, I then spent most of the day trying to fix his laptop (and my phone) got home at about 3pm. My husband hadn't sorted sons lunch. Why am I the only one that can do this? We all go out for food in the evening, and my husband gets pissy that I'm taking ages. I have to get myself ready, my son ready and husband moans and wants to know what's going on with the laptop. So husband just sorts his hair and puts shoes on. I've got to make sure son Is dressed, all charges switched off, close windows, make sure I've got money, laptop bag, ring up about laptop, get sons shoes on (I tie the laces) etc. I feel so unappreciated at the moment. I've had birthday cake, 2 chocolate bars an a few sweets. 😔

Am not in a good place this week. As soon as things start to get tricky in my life I revert to type, telling myself that it is better than smoking or boozing. Reading what people are saying here about themselves and their bingeing, I think it's far to say I am at the extreme end of things.

How did the poster that was seeing a hypnotherapist work out?

I think we all use food as a coping mechanism.

Sounds like a tough week for everyone. I had a stressful day. Started ok with a good Pilates lesson, then felt stress with work. I went to the supermarket before school. Bought babybels and tomatoes, enjoyed those, then moved on to the pack of Jaffa cakes I brought for school pickup (lucky I had already bought replacements to swap in at the shops). Then, rather than eat the healthy meal with dh, I got a sandwich and crisps and ate them in the car going through the carwash, listening to the brain over binge podcast. I just want to hideaway and do this as I know it’s weird and I don’t want anyone questioning me on it. Urgh, feel like an idiot. Enjoyed my Pilates lesson but feel my fat getting in the way when I bend and started googling diets. Good luck today everyone, thinking of you

You know its bad when you google diets! I remember after a binge of astronomical proportions joining slimming world for a month. Shit move.
I think because I'm not binging as much that my body is less bloated though, I don't mean I've lost weight but it's just not so bloated and at bursting point. I'll try not to let my emotions get the better of me today. I've bought some posh jam to have on my toast this morning. So that's a treat to enjoy. My favourite is St Dafour (?) marmalade but it's about £4 a jar where I am!

It’s exactly what they talk about in the book isn’t it, binge and restrict. I listened to a podcast yesterday talking about how to accept your body as it is when you give up dieting. To just don’t know if I can. As you have said @MistyRock why do I have to care to so much about how I look? Enjoy your toast, that sounds lovely! I might go for some on and toast after my meeting. Looking like an old fatso on my zoom call this morning.

@LucyLatimer and you're not an idiot, somewhere along the line you've found binge eating to be a comfort to use. You've learnt to use it to help you cope. It will take a while to change this and it will also mean facing up to things you don't want to face up too. Don't beat yourself up. You're doing great. 😊

*you

I know, I'm not sure I can accept my body as it is either. BUT, the point is, I think, once you've accepted that you will no longer diet, things change, you will no longer see food as the enemy and it will become some thing you enjoy and aren't ruled by. When we're deep into our binge eating food becomes this huge power over us. To neutralise it we need to take its power away. We need to see it for what it is. Just food. When it becomes just food our body will find its natural settling point. The one we don't have to work so hard for, the one our bodies are naturally. It may not be a perfect 10 but it won't be a bloated feeling ill after a binge either. Stick with it as we will be rewarded! 😍

That’s true, need to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Podcost was ‘the anti diet club’ quiet interesting. Thanks for the pep talk, it’s so good to hear so many people voicing it. I know that my weight is the one thing I have ‘failed’ at and so the easiest thing that people around me can criticize. And they do, and it hurts

My weight was the one thing I was good at. I've never had a career or been particularly good at anything but I aways looked nice and was always the one that made an effort and looked attractive. Now I've not even got that! 😔 I think I'm hanging onto a feeling, maybe rose tinted specs. I hate any reference to my weight or food I eat. Anything can be twisted in my mind to be a put down.

And with saying that my husband has mentioned the birthday cake, or lack of it. I've literally only had a piece a day and I've openingly asked at the time if anyone else wants a piece, and now I feel like a fat git.

It's me having the hypnotherapy, had an introductory session then having a proper session next week
I've also started horseriding, second lesson today. It's hard and expensive but fun, until I see myself in the mirrors! They have to weigh you as well!

Good for you @cheeseisthebest good luck on both your new ventures!

Nodding along with a lot of what is being said here.
It is a coping mechanism. And the weird thing is the fatter I feel the more I want to binge to cope with feeling fat. What a nutter. 😆

mistyrock i agree with the feeling of not being bloated from binging has a massive effect on me. My thighs are no smaller, my bum is not smaller but I feel slimmer and more comfortable in my body. I think it doesn't help that I am a (top heavy) apple so any time I feel bloated it accentuates my belly which is my most hated bit. So when i feel less bloated I can cope with the actual fat better. I also have IBS so i can get bloated very easily. It's not just about what I eat as much as how much I eat. Over eating triggers my IBS terribly. Then I eat more to supposedly comfort that horrible feeling. Again, seems so mad written down.

Accepting my body as it is has been one of the hardest things I have tried to work on. Maybe even going as far as liking it! Then I will treat it well. Its very much a work in progress.

Dh and I fell out last night (big building project going on at home- our usual trigger) . It happens very infrequently and we did sort it out very quickly but I was glad it was late at night as I wasn't tempted to eat to counter it. I was aware I felt shaky and angry and upset, that feeling usually has me reaching for food to ground me. I also often use food the next day too in the aftermath of any confrontation or challenging situation but I haven't today.

So far (and I'm aware that the day is still young) I haven't binged. I've had a perfectly fine breakfast and a perfectly fine lunch. I'm working tonight but trying to keep later dinners small so I don't go to bed over full.

This thread is really helping me. To hear others that feel the same and have similar patterns and most of all just to have the thread there as accountability. Checking in each day keeps me within healthier boundaries. The alcohol thread was the same. I used it daily to begin with. Then slowly I stopped needing the support daily, then weekly, then it just became habit to not drink and I only pop in now and again.

I know I had said that maybe counting days wouldn't help me as it would feel too much like a win/fail so I'm not counting per se. But I am liking being able to pop on and say "I haven't binged today". It WILL become habit, to eat more normally, if I just keep taking one day at a time.

For those with challenges going on, I hope your day eases.