Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

I need to join this thread. I eat and eat and eat. I eat my dinner, I finish the DC left overs. I pick at food while I am cooking it for me or others. I eat everyone's left overs. I am leaning over my DH while he cooks and picking at food that he is cooking. No one can have food in my house without me hovering over them waiting for any that they don't want. I scoff all the snacks for the DC. I cant pass the larder without going in it. If I randomly wake up in the night then I go and get food. It's out of control. It's the only thing I enjoy.

I'm an emotional eater.

This needs to stop but I don't know how.

The thing that I am trying to do @Thefroglover is to eat consciously, and to not eat alone. Last night I was watching a film with DH and DS, and there was a family bag of crisps in the kitchen that were calling out to me. So I did something that I wouldn't usually do, and took them to the living room for everyone to share. I kicked off by taking two fistfuls of crisps, DH took none, and DS took one crisp at a time. It made me not then go back for another fistful. And at the end of the evening I binned what hadn't been eaten, rather than just shovelling them down me stood in the kitchen. Clearly no medals were handed out as a result, but it made me approach things differently, and I didn't binge.

This is me. Whenever there’s food, I’m there. My issue isn’t that I’m shameful of it. I’ll binge eat in front of anyone because I genuinely don’t care what people think.

I’m trying to work on eating things I actually want instead of eating food just for the sake of it. What I’ve recently done is no longer have multipacks in my house. So no multipacks of crisps or chocolates or anything like that. I now buy yoghurt so when I go in the kitchen and want to eat something, I have the choice of either some yoghurt or I’ll make a hot chocolate.

One thing I’ve realised with binge eating (especially if you’re an emotional eater) is that there’s always going to be times in your life when you’re emotional. It’s as if you have to swap out bad food that you tend to binge on for things you’re not too interested in. I’ve barely eaten any of the yoghurts this week and I haven’t binged on anything because there’s literally nothing here to binge on!

It’s bloody hard though. I’ll be sitting down and just think about crisps and how much I want to eat 4 packs back to back. It’s a mental thing and it’s just hell

It is hell. We've got a huge pack of kit kits in the house for kids packed lunches.
I bloody love a kitkat dipped in a cuppa!

I can't eat one though. I bought a multi pack of double deckers the other week. Had one, then two, then before I knew it I decided I needed to finish the pack rather than leave one or two. So clearly not eating for enjoyment, but couldn't stop myself.

Oh yes I've definitely been there. I have had one kitkat but one was enough this time.

It’s somewhat funny you say this.

I think I realised I had a problem when I saw my cousin eat a pack of crisps and leave some for later. I asked her why she did that and she was saying she didn’t want anymore. To this day, I can never stop myself or leave some for another day.

I do the exact same as you notafly if I purchase a multipack, it’ll go in one day. Two days if I’m really starting to feel sick and not enjoy it. What I’ve started doing is instead of buying a 6 pack of Wotsits for £1.60. I’ll buy a grab bag for 90p. Could you try that? Instead of buying a multipack because it works out cheaper. Just buy one single

I recently had to move my DM into a care home following a massive stroke, about a 2 hour drive away. It's all been really stressful for me. I stop off at a Home Bargains on the way to see her and fill my basket with shite like multi packs of double deckers 'for the family' and then proceed to binge on the drive home (having stopped at M&S to buy a low cal salad like the fuckwit I am).

Right. Have admitted it.

Massive well done for admitting that xxxx

And I've done similar

thank you. It's the lying to myself that I find hardest to work through.

Hello everyone, I'm back! (buster gonad) I've had a name change as I felt I was too involved and felt really shit with myself so I'm trying to be a nicer person and a name change was needed for that. I've had a tough few days. Holiday flights cancelled and I'm waiting for refund. I have a ton of swimwear non returnable just sitting in my wardrobe! Redundant. Our cat came home a few nights ago with a severely busted leg, so a trip to the vet was involved, Facebook said it opened at 12, nope, 3pm. We sat there for 1 and a half hours until finding another one open. My eating has kind of been okay. I've been eating what I want but my binging has subsided. I'm not so obsessed with my weight and looks. I tried some jeans on yesterday and the bigger size are massive everywhere but fit my waist! 😬 Back to the drawing board. I'm taking my son out today and I've already decided that we will get a cake and coffee in a cafe. That's what normal people do!

Sorry to hear about everything @MistyRock but well done on the eating. Today I'm taking back control. I do a weekly food shop on Saturdays, the houses is full of goodies (DH & DCs chosen snacks). I WILL resist I don't need to eat that shit. Im not hungry, ill only be eating it coz it's there. I need to be strong.

@MistyRock thats not great about your holiday, such a letdown. Ours aboard holiday was cancelled and I too bought swimwear and summery things. We just had a couple of days away in the Uk and I got to wear one of the dresses but not the same. Sorry to hear about cat too, you must be so stressed. Nice to see you back and keep talking. I read the book and it made a lot of sense. Back at work tomorrow,which will be the real test. I wfh and have really bad imposter syndrome right now, so we’ll see how it goes. I took off my Fitbit and deleted mfp. Let’s see how it goes not focussing on restricting.

Things will be okay, we're just have to stay in Egypt longer and go to Asia another time. Hopefully the refund won't take forever and the swimwear is always good to have as I have FF to G boobs and usually off the peg stuff in clothes sizes doesn't fit so it's good to have. They'll all from H&M if anyone's interested. I'm going to eat whatever today as I've just told my son that the holiday is off so we'll probably have a burger and some ice-cream. He was a bit upset but seems okay now we're out the house.

I've not read the book yet, I've started it. It's alot bigget than I expected! Now things have settled down a bit and the holiday is off I can just chill out and I can finish it.

Make sure you get some of your favourite stuff too. I treat myself to Walkers short bread fingers and hide them so no one else scoffs them.

Glad to have you back @MistyRock , sounds like you are having a tough time of it so well done on not binging. Thanks for the tip on the swimwear, will have a look at their site.

I went to Aldi last night and bought a shit ton of salad stuff. Not convinced it was my best move.

It's the puch up bikini and swimsuit. With the pads.

I'm glad you're back!
I'm having a shocker of a day, week, month.
What do you do when you're totally fed up about your weight and the only thing that cheers you up is eating? Feel totally stuck and powerless. 😢

I wish I knew the answer? Is there any particular thing in your life that's causing you to be unhappy? I know that this year I've spent it mainly eating because non of us, in the family have been particularly happy, and I've always, since childhood felt responsible for everyone's happiness so to feel so helpless has been awful. It's so easy to turn to food for joy. What would make you feel better about your weight? Is the pressure to be slimmer just from yourself? My husband make a joke about my weight once, when we had been drinking. It hurt me to the core. It was a couple of years ago but it's hard to forget. I'm ultra sensitive about it as I'm not used to be so much bigger. It's sad.

Me too, I was slim until my thirties.im now the biggest I've ever been.
My husband thinks it's just a matter of deciding to lose weight and doing it cos that's what he's done! I now weigh more than him and I'm 5ft 1 and he's 5ft 10.
I don't think anything in particular is making me unhappy, was just a couple of minor things today.
I do hate my appearance in general and constantly feel envious of other women.

I started putting on weight after moving abroad (6 years ago), I was no longer working and generally being bored at home. I think losing my friends and social life was a big part of it. I've yo yoed within a range of 2st and I'm at the very top now. I'm hoping our next big move will be a happy one and I'll gradually get down to my 'average' weight. My comfortable weight. Not my dream weight! 😂 That's too far in the past. Every view about myself has changed. I'm not the same person anymore. I'm trying to accept who I am now and some days I wake up happy and with some life in me and others I just want to curl up and hide away from myself. I did get some new jeans today but the 16s were too big on my legs and weirdly below my tummy. So I got a stretchy pair of 14s which I'll just have to stretch the waist out on. All my weight is really around my middle. I've had fleeting moments tonight of dieting. It's crazy as this morning I was feeling really positive, but I have eaten a lot today. Not binged though. Just eaten a lot of stuff.

Tomorrow I'm going to dedicate some time to reading my book. Now the holiday is off I will just enjoy my time at home. Everyone is home now as school finished until September so my time will be more full and hopefully no windows of opportunity to binge.