Binge eaters accountability thread

[LucyLatimer]

A thread to check in and say how we are feeling with no judgment. Taking one day at a time.

Omg and a bag of Malteasers.... 😱😱😱😱

Thanks notaflyingmonkey and all.

I'm not sure what my trigger was, that's the thing. Tiredness? Boredom? Habit? I can't actually pinpoint it. It was like I was in a fog, just going through the motions of getting up and getting more and more food.

Some of it was what would be classed as junk (crisps and sweets) some would be classed as healthy food as part of a normal day's food intake (granola and a tomato sandwich). It was more the amount of it. I was aware I was already full and bloated and uncomfortable but kept going. I could hear a voice saying "you can stop this now and you won't do anymore damage " but I kept going.

I woke up feeling physically and emotionally rubbish today. A bit like I have a hangover. Regret that I've done this to myself. And i can also hear my thoughts drifting to reduce/deny/diet/starve mode and self hate/disgust/disappointment in myself.

It sometimes feels like I'm either in control or completely and utterly not in control.

I know it's said often by people who binge but it would be a lot easier if I could just stop eating altogether. Like alcohol. I wasn't very good at moderation so I stopped altogether and now it's easy, I don't even think of it. And I can count days or weeks or months or years that i haven't had a drink and that gives me a little dopamine hit so i keep going.

Food intake is such a grey area. I need to eat. But where is the line of where it tips over into binging? If i could separate eating for fuel and enjoyment from binging then I could let go of binging and count the days like I do being alcohol free.

But the thing with alcohol is, I know I can drink any amount of alcohol as I like, just not the first one. That is my trigger. If i had one glass of wine I would think fuck it and have the bottle. How do I not trigger a binge episode when eating is the trigger?

Maybe I can count days where i don't binge? So, today is day 1 for me. I'm going to do the same as i did with alcohol, put a little gold star on day 1 when i get through a day without binging.

Sorry to hear you fell into that hole last night too bustergonad. I hope you can have a gentler day today to be more present. * *

I'm working til 9 tonight but I'll try to clear* *that fog. I can have an hour or two of peace now after the school run before I start work.

Thanks! We're only hunan but the best plan for me is to just forget about it. Also for I wouldn't count days of not binging as that will then became something you have to perfect. Iyswim. Don't make any adjustments to your eating plan today. Give yourself 48 hours to get over it and move on. You're still in self destruct mind at the moment.

Thank. Yes, maybe counting is another way to control so maybe not. God, why is this so hard? And how do people who don't do this live life?

There's part of me that thinks it's natural to eat less today as i over ate yesterday and I'm still full. But I don't want to get into fasting or missing out meals. Maybe just a lighter diet today but not missing out. It's all so exhausting to think about constantly isn't it?

The 48 hour thing is interesting as I usually want an instant fix, which is enlightening in itself. Food (ha!) for thought.

Put half a pound on. Not bothered at all though as I’ve had a really great week and feel really good. Haven’t binged and I’ve been allowing myself to eat what I like in normal portions.

PashunFroot can we please not talk about actual weight gain/loss as we are all trying to get over our fixation with weight and diets and isn't helpful. This is not a diet thread.

I’ll leave the thread then

You don't have to leave but we are all trying to leave diet culture behind, we are all trying to not obsess about our weight so it isn't helpful to have someone on here talking about weight gain and loss. It is triggering for us and makes us question ourselves all over again. I'm done with not having a go at you or trying to mean but this is a safe space for us who have had enough of the poisonous culture we've all become obsessed with and that has screwed us up in the first place.

*I'm not having a go at you.

Just a quick one as have to go out, just wanted to say about compassion / kindness, we are all at different stages, letting go of the dieting mindset isn't easy. Shall we try and keep dieting / weight talk to a minimum but just remember we are all on the same path

Agreed. I didn't mean to sound harsh. I just do not want this turning into a diet thread. I hide those purposely.

No it’s fine I’ll leave, you’ve actually made me feel so unwelcome and shit so thanks for that. Literally this was my only lifeline I had. Good luck everyone hope you manage to get yourselves sorted.

Please don't leave, I will take everything back. I'm very sorry. I will not comment again. I'm truly sorry. I'm in a bad mood and I've been really snapy. Please stay. I'll will leave this thread for a bit and come back when I'm feeling in a better mood. I'm the one that's been a bitch and ill go for a while. Xx

Hi all, I’ve been watching this thread for a little while but have been scared to join.

I’m a MASSIVE binge eater. I’ll eat a 6 pack of crisps in one go. I’ve just had my second baby who’s now 2 months old however when I was pregnant with him and my DD (11 month age gap) I was literally ordering food a minimum of 3/4 a week. Even if I didn’t want it, I’d order it. I’m a massive comfort eater. I don’t smoke, don’t do drugs and rarely drink so eating is my thing. If I’m happy, I eat. If I’m stressed, sad, depressed or anxious, I eat.

My son was in NICU for the first 6 weeks. He’s been home for 3 weeks now and seeing as life is somewhat under control, my eating has calmed down massively. I’m no longer in a relationship with their dad who was causing me a lot of stress and upset which made me eat more. I have a good routine with my two kids so far which is great. In the past two weeks, I’ve had fast food once. ONCE!! Within that time frame, I’d usually have fast food at least 8-10 weeks. I’ve been having breakfast which I never usually do. I’ve been trying to have less snacks in the house. I currently have no crisps and just a pack of biscuits that I’m hardly interested in.

I’m not sure of the rules of this thread so sorry if I’ve said anything out of turn. I can see by the previous comments that we shouldn’t talk about losing/putting on weight as this isn’t a diet thread? Is it more about accepting how bad our eating is and trying to do something about it? Let me know and I’m sure I’ll be able to support you all on our journey x

@PashunFroot please don't leave, I think it is really important that those of us who need this thread are able to say stuff here that may help them. Weight loss/gain is clearly a triggering thing for some.

I was interested in seeing how alcohol is/was an issue for others on here. I went 20 years without drinking, and now manage an occasional drink, but I am v aware that it can be one of my self destruct triggers.

Hello.

Can I join?
I had a really shit day yesterday. Ate chocolate and crisps till I felt physically ill. Didn't eat anything proper

Today I've ate all protein and just 3 squares of chocolate. Am proud of myself

Welcome to the new joiners. The only thing positive I can think of to say is that I feel better for knowing I am not alone in binge eating. As a PP said, recognising that act of getting up and down to the kitchen to grab whatever else may have been lurking in the cupboard is a significant journey for me and I want to stop and recognise it for what it is rather than just hating myself for it.

I hope you do both come back pashunfroot and bustergonad.

I think it's a conversion worth having. What our triggers are, everyone will have different ones and we can be respectful and supportive of that.

I had a much better day yesterday. I kept to my plan and ate well, my stomach seems to be settling down after my binge on Tuesday night.

It's reminding myself that it's about how I FEEL after a binge, physically and emotionally rather than focusing on how i look to others and weight gain/loss.

I was tentatively reading about serotonin and how it seems to be linked to the gut. Does anyone know anything about it?

Out of interest does anyone else have gut issues? I have a few allergies food wise and IBS. I often wonder if its related.

The drinking thing is so interlinked for me. It's interesting to hear you stopped for so long and now moderate notaflyingmonkey. I know I'm* *no good at moderation when it comes to alcohol so I choose to not have any. I do sometimes think I need to do the same with my trigger foods (crisps mainly) but I am trying not to make any foods bad foods.

I did do a thing in March about not having any crisps for a month to see if I could break the habit and it did work to a certain extent. I do eat less of them now. They really do seem to trigger something in me to keep eating more and more and then binge on other things. And i get a crisp hangover. All the salt and fat makes me feel a bit sick the next day. I'm also aware if I over eat sugar I get a sore head. I'm trying to focus on these things rather than how i eat all tied up in my weight, how I look but most importantly my self worth.

A few years ago I was doing some therapy and it was like a lightbulb moment when i admitted that my mental health is so tied up with my weight. And that can change daily depending on if I am feeling slim or not. Lots to unpick there I imagine.

Hope today goes easy for all.

Oh please don't go both of you!

Hope no one departed yesterday, that would be such a shame.

Currently trying to get through the utter horror of the IT system at work and I'm absolutely desperate to comfort eat.

I'm not hungry, I've drunk plenty today, but the hassle and time wasting is such a huge trigger. So I'm posting on here instead.

Don't like this new site!
So, why am I sat here thinking about buying a "treat", why?? I'm taking my daughter to a club shortly and thinking about buying something on way back and secretly eating it. But why? I'm piling weight on which I don't like but yet I want to buy something that's sweet and "forbidden."
Boredom? Fed upness?
It's not hunger.

Did you cope?

I just about managed. A carrot doesn't count does it? I'm not sure. The craving messages still got rewarded - sort of. I'm not sure. I'm just glad it was a carrot. That feels like a big win even if it's not exactly breaking the cycle.

I'm having cheesey crackers.
Not sure that's a win.
I've got a consultation on Monday for hypnosis!

cheeseisthebest let us know how the hypnosis goes. I've* *often thought about it. I do a lot of meditation and a friend who has become a hypnotherapist said it's very similar. I did the rubbishy online one from Paul Mckenna a year and a half ago when I decided to work towards stopping this and it did help a lot actually. So, i would think doing it with a trained therapist would be so much better.

I have been doing well the last few days. Keeping to my plan. I didn't manage every meal and snack yesterday as I was busy but didn't fall into binging later. Some thougths of being unhappy with my body crept in during the day and I could watch these thougths with interest rather than react with food in one way or another. Got a busy day amd working tomorrow so I probably won't be so likely to tip into Friday binge mode. Fridays in particular and days where I'm not working that day or the next are my nemesis a bit. Same as when I was drinking. I need a different release to let go and relax than food.

*Thoughts