Adult eating disorders support

[thesootherfairy]

Hi
Was inspired by the teen thread. Looks really supportive and was wondering if anyone else would like an adult support thread?

I'm 47. Have young pre-teen DC, a DH and a family cat. I work full time self employed. But I've had anorexia since I was 12. Had no help (not well known about back then so no help offered). Recently been diagnosed with anorexia.

Now face a 2 year wait for treatment.

And you?

@TheOrigRights

Hello.

I have a dietician zoom this afternoon, where I will need to tell her I have slipped in the progress I had been making.

I am going to get back on track now we I am back to work, DS1 has gone and DS2 is doing home school.

Thankfully the provision in secondary is so much better than what he was assigned in primary (he moved to secondary in Sept) so he is better able to work independently and is more motivated.

That said, he still needs my input and support and the interruptions to my work mean I am not entirely focussed. My employer is great and understands the situation.

I can still run and cycle, but with DS2's exercise curtained due to not being at school or his football club, it does mean I need to chivvy him along and there's only so many hours in the day to fit it all in. He's struggling so needs to be my priority, the result being I end up doing an enjoyable walk with him, rather than the sport I really want and need.

This is truly amazing news, really. That final para!

I have to encourage DS out for walks too, but he'll only do a two mile loop, so at weekends we often split halfway and add another few miles and a steep hill and he walks home on his own. I liked it in the summer term when they did PE everyday at school. His martial arts have been cancelled and he isn't usually a sporty teen.

Sup1979

Thank you for your positivity. I'll have some if you're sharing!

My last paragraph was actually more of a moan really. While I do love my walks with DS2, when they are instead of my own sport I do feel a little peeved that I've missed out.

I am getting out today - however busy I am, or however needy other people are. So there!

But @TheOrigRights

You prioritised the walk when you could have said “ok you stay at home and I will go for a run”

Someone right in thick and on downward trajectory would have done that.

You didn’t

That's true, though I am not always sure that DS doesn't sense my resentment and subsequent antsy mood, or my frustration that he didn't get out and exercise himself.

My exercise is important - very important - but it doesn't rule my life.

Hi everyone.
All ok? Just checking in to see how you all are.

Not great here. Feeling low. Not anything to update with here.

Hey@thesootherfairy it's so hard at the moment isn't it? I'm really struggling too and this lockdown really isn't helping.

Back at the docs today fir more blood tests and ecg. Got another video session with eating disorder clinic. Nothing has really been done for me yet so hoping on Friday I may be told what's going to happen

@Luckoftheirish at least you have monitoring and some therapy contact.
I've been left with nothing for the next year to 18months. My GP rings me once every couple of months to ask me whether I've heard from the service and inevitably I've not.
My GP has written to them and complained but they've not even bothered replying to her. They're useless and not fit for purpose.
Make the most of the support you have.
I hope you're therapy call goes well.

Anyone tried the priory for help? Any good?

Hey

How is everyone? Struggling here, I've hurt my knee so my exercise has gone out the window. I seem to be gain weight rapidly with no rhyme or reason and it's very upsetting. Anyone else has this? Feels like my body has just given up on me.

@thesootherfairy I tried the priory where I live but due to COVID they were very slow on the uptake and by the time they got back to me I had already gone down the gp route. Although now I have been told it's at least a year long wait to get any form of counselling 🙈 xx

Hello everyone
Just checking in to see how we all are. My nurse has had to reduce our appointments at the moment due to the high volume of new cases they have.
I feel like I'm in free fall. I don't think lockdown helps. I'm in a cycle of restriction.... laxatives and being sick.
I'm going to call the clinic in the next few days to see if I can get a call from my nurse.

Hope everyone is getting on OK. Lockdown makes things so much harder

Just reading back through previous posts and I'm disgusted for you OP
How can there not be help for you ? I'm so sorry you have been let down

I feel very lucky to have the clinic I attend.

Hello, I have long term issues with body image and eating but don't know if I officially count as having an eating disorder - though I certainly have disordered eating. I have real anxiety around eating at the "wrong" time, and would not have anything but water until 10pm, but have been working on this and now am able to eat at lunchtime (midday). I don't know why I'm like this. I don't think I'm scared of gaining weight and atm that's all I really want to do, but as soon as my weight reaches a certain level I start to think I'm fat and to hate myself - or at least that's how I've always been in the past.

I have been able to gain a couple of pounds recently but my BMI is currently at 16.2 which I know is still low, and I am struggling with very low energy levels and other issues related to my weight. I feel like I need help but I don't really know where to turn. I have a bad relationship with my GP and don't feel able to speak to her. I hope it's ok for me to hop on this thread for advice and support, but if it sounds like I'm in the wrong place then feel free to say so.

My big worry at present is that it's so hard to gain weight. It took me weeks to gain those couple of pounds yet I thought I was eating loads. I'm not sure where I'm going wrong with that.

Gosh we are all really struggling aren't we? You just feel like you are in a vicious circle of hell desperately trying to crawl out the other side.

I try and be positive every morning but something always goes wrong and my immediate thought is restrict so all good intentions go out the window.

I have been abusing laxatives for years and years and now they hate having such a negative impact on my body it needs to stop. I'm gaining weight due to the vast amount of laxatives I am taking which is obviously not the reason I was taking them in the first place.

So today is day one of cold turkey. I will gain more weight I will feel horribly bloated and miserable but if I want to crawl out of this hole that's what I need to do.

Hi everyone
I'm usually on the teen thread but as my daughter is very nearly 18 we're starting the process of transitioning to adults. I know many of you on this thread (and my heart goes out to you all - coping with a child with an ED is one thing but coping as an adult with families to look after as well seems mind blowing to me) have struggled to access support - but for those who have would you be able to outline the type/level of support/intervention you receive from EDT -I know it will be different and presumably at lot less than we're currently getting at CAMHS but not sure exactly what I should be expecting...

many thanks

Hello. I hope it’s okay for me to join this thread. I lost a lot of weight last year due to stress, I came totally unable to eat. This unhealthy relationship with food persisted and now when I have a bad day I just don’t allow myself to eat. My BMI is 17.5 now which is not dangerously low but I’m so tired of this now. I don’t know why I’m writing this. I just want to eat and be well but at the same time I don’t. It’s exhausting.

@myrtleWilson I never accessed it, but I was told it would be CBT twice a week for four weeks, then once a week.

@myrtleWilson welcome.

I have been very fortunate in the support I have received over the last 4 years and over two different counties.

First time I saw psychiatrist 4 times over a period of about 5 months.
Along side this I saw the ED/MH nurse mostly every 2 weeks, sometimes once a week and then about every 3 weeks.
During the last 6 months of those appts I also saw a clinical psychologist (I needed to wait until I was more stable physically and emotionally) every week.
I wasn't recovered but I had learnt a huge amount and had reached a point where it stops being beneficial. I sobbed and sobbed after I was discharged.

About a year later and with a different surgery I was re-referred. My initial assessment was a week before first lockdown. From April to Oct I met with the psychological therapist every 2 or 3 weeks (via zoom). That relationship didn't really work; she wasn't teaching me anything I didn't know and I didn't like the style - too formulaic.
She suggested I meet the dietician (who I'd met at the initial assessment) and I have warmed to her. I meet with her every 3 weeks or so, but email her weekly.
I think I have the tools and the knowledge and a truck load of self-awareness, but putting it into practice is proving to be an almighty challenge for me.

My physical checks were quite sporadic during my first treatment, but this time round I have a blood test every month.

I don't know whether I've just been lucky to be able to access this support or whether I am in denial about how unwell I am. Because I get on with my life (work, family, exercise) successfully I think I'm OK. Then I read a clinic letter or something and I have to pull myself up.
Deep down I know I'm not OK, but the ED is smarter and stronger than me at the moment.

I try every single day.

Today has been a good day actually.

I have an ED didn't know until my therapist told me I binge then use laxatives don't know how to stop !

thank you to those posters who have shared with me (either on the thread or via PM) their experience of adults as we begin the transition with my daughter away from CAMHS - it is much appreciated and I wish you all the very best for your futures.

I had a joint call with my dietician and care coord this afternoon.

My 'homework' for last week was to write some meal plans.
Of course I know what a proper meal plan looks like, but it was meant to be a meal plan I could work towards.

It was so much harder than I thought, which was a useful exercise in itself.

It ended up being a mix of what I am doing now, what I think it should be, and what I think I can manage.

We talked about it on our call, made some tweaks and came up with some goals. We meet again in a month.

DS going back to school cannot come soon enough, I am done in with trying to do my job, supervise his remote learning and above all support his emotional wellbeing as he struggles.

@TheOrigRights are you receiving psychological therapy at all? I followed your thread and it seemed like you've had dietician and nurse and occasionally a psychiatrist but very little therapy.

Getting you to do meal plans without helping you psychologically isn't going to do a lot is it?

I feel like everyone thinks it's about eating. That's just the symptom. The real issue is what underlies the symptom (ie the eating issues). That being what I'm using the ED to hide.

@TheOrigRights. I hope you don't mind me saying this.

I suppose I'm just angry at the decades without any help or support at all.

Both my GP and I complained to the local ED service about how I was treated by that therapist.
I rang up to return the call of the Manager of the ED service. Spoke to one of the staff who said "so is this about your daughter or your son" 🤦🏼‍♀️
Same as when I went for the appointment and their reception staff kept asking whose mum I was 🤦🏼‍♀️
This is supposed to be an All age ED service. Useless. The manager of the service was pretty horrified when I told her.

Anyway they agreed to change me to another therapist. I've spoken to her a couple of times. She seems nice.

Hopefully she will be able to help.

How's everyone else doing??

@TheOrigRights That sounds like a positive step forward. It's different knowing what you should be doing and thinking of it in terms of something to actually work towards isn't it? For me it's all about making small decisions and following them through each day, one day at a time.

I'm doing much better, though I feel bad posting it here when others are struggling. At a healthy weight (just) and maintaining. When I'm eating properly and maintaining a high enough weight then the thoughts fade away, when I slip up they come back. It may be different for me as I've recovered before when I was younger, then this relapse in the last couple of years, I don't have the perspective of barely knowing a life without anorexia.

@thesootherfairy does this mean you are starting to get some support, or are you still on the waiting list?

I am in a real downward spiral at the moment, so hoping I get some therapeutic input soon.