Adult eating disorders support

[thesootherfairy]

Hi
Was inspired by the teen thread. Looks really supportive and was wondering if anyone else would like an adult support thread?

I'm 47. Have young pre-teen DC, a DH and a family cat. I work full time self employed. But I've had anorexia since I was 12. Had no help (not well known about back then so no help offered). Recently been diagnosed with anorexia.

Now face a 2 year wait for treatment.

And you?

Just me then

Sorry OP, only just seen this.

I am 50, single parent with two sons (21 and 11). I work full time in science.

I am under the care of the ED team. Next appt with dietician is 2 weeks tomorrow. I email her weekly. I was having psychological therapy but it wasn't working out, whereas I have clicked with the dietician so at my review we all agreed I would continue to work with her and review again in 3 months.

I love to run, and also bike and swim (when the darn pool is open) and attend classes (when the darn sports centre is open).

Hi, I have an undiagnosed binge eating disorder. Haven't worked up the courage to see my GP yet but tick every box on the NHS and eating disorder websites. It completely takes over my life and I spend most of the time loathing myself.
I did speak to DP about it last week but he's not the most understanding so it's hard.

I'm 37, part time carer with 2 kids

Not just you OP.

I'm 25, have been bulimic since I was 18. Trying to get a handle on it with workbooks, but finding it very difficult. It feels like instinct at this point. I'm worried for my teeth and afraid of heart attacks.

I'm too afraid to tell the GP. I don't know why. Probably shame.

Not just you. I think my diagnosis is EDNOS (or whatever) at the moment is my BMI is above the range for an anorexia diagnosis. I would describe myself as a functional anorexic and it's only part of a number of other issues. I see my psychiatrist weekly. I'm currently on maternity leave after having my son last year.

Hi all,

im bulimic too @bluechairs and a very similar age. Have been ill for the best part of 7 years but it started as anorexia before morphing into bulimia...i would say i have been severely bulimic for the last 3-4 years though.

I have the same concerns as you but at the same time generally feel surprisingly well in myself all things considered (probably denial i know...)

I have spoken to my GP (promise its not scary once you do it, they are so used to it and wont look down on you at all) and have tried treatment but unfortunately haven't been able to commit to it and give it my all. I know exactly what you mean about it being second nature, i almost cant imagine my life without it now. I hate to think of it as a 'friend' but it sort of is, especially now where life is otherwise so slow and empty.

I think this thread is a lovely idea OP...eating disorders aren't just for teenage girls who end up growing out of it...they really can affect anyone.

Sending you all hugs x

Hi all,

I've just made the brave decision to speak to the Gp after many years of trying to get well myself.

I have anorexia and the first lockdown has spiralled me out of control.

I'm 45 and have two daughters. My wish is to be able to sit at the dinner table and enjoy a meal with my family without worrying, feeling guilty or reprimanding myself afterwards xx

Hi @Luckoftheirish @pr0crastinating @mynameiscalypso @bluechairs @HerbErtlinger @TheOrigRights

It's nice to "meet" you all. Although I'm sorry you're all also suffering.

I too want to be able to enjoy a family meal without being on edge, trying to avoid eating without anyone noticing or feeling bad/needing to compensate afterwards. I just can't see how that will ever happen at the moment.

I feel so down over finally having plucked up the courage to ask for help (as we are constantly reminded via the media to do!) only to be told there isn't really anything.

If I do ever get to the top of the waiting list, I'll be receiving treatment somewhere that doesn't even have chairs for adults. They have the same chairs as they do in my sons primary school.

All I've got is a "self help" leaflet written for teenagers (talks about school, Snapchat and tiktok ) and an approximate 2 year waiting time.

Hoping you'll all get on much better.
💕

Hi OP. Can I join the support group too- you're definitely not alone! Well done for talking to your GP! Do you think this year has made everything worse for you? I certainly feel that it has for me.

A little introduction for everyone:
I'm 26 and first developed anorexia when I was 12 after the death of my Nan. Over my teenage years I dropped down to 5.5 stone (I'm 5"6 for reference.) I developed co-morbid depression and anxiety also and once I got to college found recreational drug taking to be a great way of reducing my calorie consumption further. From about 21 I was a "normal" weight and felt relatively ED free. I had my son two years ago and am also studying on a very intensive academic course and I have noticed the counting and control sneaking back into my daily life.

I really enjoy the control I feel that I get from restriction, it almost feels like a "high" and a part of my doesn't want to give that up, but I really want to try and stop this behaviour for the benefit of my son. (I don't take any drugs any more and haven't since years before I was pregnant before anyone worries about my son!)

Hi @TheVeryHungryTortoise

Mine started at around 11 or 12. V low weight (BMI between 12 and 14) until I met my husband at 30.

Slightly better during mid to late 30s when the DC came along.

Started to slide early 40s and now very rapidly going down hill.

I stupidly always imagined that if I asked for help it would be available.

Where I live they have an "all age" Ed service. Only they don't. They have a service for under 18s. The rest of us are on the scrap heap.

I was aged 20 or under my treatment would have started within 4 weeks of referral. Not "at least 2 years"

I didn't think public services where allowed to discriminate on the basis of age?

I too am suffering!! I am 45 and a “professional “. I undertook several years of CBT 2013 to 2016 and thought I was cured ! However due to working from home etc etc my weight has dropped and I have now self referred back!! My journey starts again in a couple of weeks and I am petrified!
I can not pin point when this started again but I know it’s down to lockdown!

Welcome @likestoski

Sorry to hear it has returned!

Although hearing you had cbt which worked for while gives me hope.

Was it NHS CBT??

If so how long was your wait, did you see same therapist throughout?

Sorry about all the questions. I need information please. I've never had any treatment from NhS before and just keen to hear experiences.

Hello, can I tag on? I’m 38, married with children. I’ve had an eating disorder most my life but things came to a head 2 years ago. I was lucky enough to start treatment within 5 weeks of referral. I’m diagnosed with anorexia nervous and see a psychologist weekly and a dietician and psychiatrist when I need to. My GP is also superb with monitoring me too. I’ve been in treatment for over a year already and know how incredibly lucky I am to have such superb support.

Welcome @Star8181
Glad to hear you're being looked after so well. You're very fortunate.

@mynameiscalypso. Are you being treated on nhs? You sound like you have great support.

To all of you who have come to this thread today; I now feel less alone. Thank you

[quote thesootherfairy]@mynameiscalypso. Are you being treated on nhs? You sound like you have great support.

To all of you who have come to this thread today; I now feel less alone. Thank you [/quote]
No, I'm not. Sorry, I probably should have mentioned that first off! I was under the NHS mental health team when I was pregnant but most of my treatment has been private other than that. I know that I'm incredibly lucky both in terms of being able to afford it but also in terms of the psych who I stumbled across on google who has changed my life.

Sending lots of love to everyone. I'm stuck in a cycle of restriction and then mainlining sugar/carbs partly because I'm so knackered with my toddler. It doesn't make for a very happy combination. I know if I could just eat three normal balanced meals a day, I'd feel better but that just seems like a world away right now.

I'm really interested in this thread, I'm a sufferer too. Xxx❤️

@mynameiscalypso how did you find the psychiatrist? I'm wondering whether to try to go private.

@thesootherfairy I was seeing a different (private) psychiatrist who was recommended by my GP but I felt like she was useless (I later ended up taking legal action against her - a very long story!) and one day I discharged myself from her and looked on the Beat charity website and found the details of someone else and referred myself to them. He has a particular interest in eating disorders and worked in the NHS for years on ED units so is very experienced although he will only treat me up to a certain point - if he feels like my weight is too low or my behaviour is too destructive, he's made it clear that I will have to be referred to the NHS for crisis intervention.

I decided to contact Bupa as I hoped that would be a quicker way through. Sadly not at the mo. I spoke to a psychiatrist and he just asked a lot of questions told me he would refer me to a dietician and a councillor but I've heard nothing back. I had a health check with Bupa they wanted me to get more bloods done. After a two week non urgent appointment doc called me yesterday. I cried in the phone. She is going to do bloods herself and then get me referred but they cannot send referrals with up to date bloods! It sort of feels like you make a decision and you want to beat it but then have to jump through so many hoops.

Problem is I won't allow myself to eat anymore as I'm waiting for help! Wish there was an off switch for one day with no consequences!

Thanks for this thread OP, and thanks to everyone else who has posted.
I'm 43, currently under the ED team for a relapse of anorexia. First episode was about 12 years ago, but I didn't have any support then (was referred to ED team but not accepted as my weight wasn't low enough with a BMI of 17.7)
Very different experience this time, when I first spoke to my GP in January I was still healthy BMI, but losing weight. She referred me straight to ED team and I had an appointment within 5 weeks, by which time my weight was the lowest it had been. I'm lucky the services are so good here!
I'm currently doing group CBT, which is ok, but I find it hard to open up with others. By working with a dietician and trying to follow a meal plan, my weight is back in the healthy range, but the mindset is still not great

@TheGratefulWitchCried welcome. Sorry you find yourself here with us.
You're fortunate to have treatment and so soon.

I don't know what would change what goes on in my head. All I know is I want it to happen.

@pr0crastinating hi!

Yes, it's partly difficult because I feel so normal. I don't hate myself or anything and I'm a normal weight (slightly at the high end of normal), I don't have massive binges or anything and don't even have to use my hands. I eat normally, just a bit too much.

So it feels like... a non problem. Except that it is. And I know that it could kill me.

I want to be over it, but it feels like it's just part of my life. Almost like everyone does it but just doesn't say. But I know that's not true.

It almost feels like I should be able to just say 'right no more of that' except when I try to... I can't commit. I can't stop myself. My self control goes totally out the window until I've compensated.

Honestly, the urge feels exactly like the urge for a cigarette did when I quit. Except that was easier. So maybe it's an addiction.

Also I'm meant to be transferred to a new drug for another condition I have which I've had to push and push for over 2 years to get into and it could be life changing. I'm worried that if this comes to light then they will remove that drug treatment from me. They don't seem related anywhere I've read. It is a worry though.

Back ground on me - went on a diet when I started uni and dropped two stone. I felt horrendous whenever I 'cheated' and went over calories and this manifested in purging.

My sister was bulimic growing up and dropped to 5st so I likely modelled it on her.

It started off just when I had eaten too much and now is after pretty much every meal I eat. Even salad. I basically find the feeling of being full unmanageable.

My best friend is a recovered bulimic (do we attract eaChother?) who managed to stop entirely thanks to a private therapist so I've considered this. She has put on around three stone since though... so that scares me.

For those suffering from Bulimia/Binge Eating, Fluoxetine at 60 mg has been absolutely brilliant for me, takes usually a few days to a week to kick in but then the urge to overeat is just gone.