Spoke to GP

[BraveButShaking]

He is referring me for psychiatric help.
What does this mean? I thought standard was counselling.

It has never been so hard to be honest. I need a hug...anyone?

Thank you satin

She suggested it as my trend is still to lose weight and community support isn't changing that. I was too afraid to ask how it worked but I believe you go each day for a period of time.
I'm a single parent. If I had to I could manage the childcare, but I've just started a new job and obv they know nothing of my condition. It would be a disaster.

Sisters are great. My older sister is really the only one who speaks very frankly to me. From a place of kindness and concern, but still.

I feel encouraged that you've had a better run. Well done. How hard was it (is it?).

No, it's not so low, it's more the behaviours and the trend.

I'm not doing very well at all.
ED nurse informed me that support will stop if I don't start to respond (and there is a limit on number of sessions anyway), as research shows that ongoing appointments when someone just isn't ready to recover are counter-productive.

I do feel a bit like I haven't had been given a good shot though as I was told I would get CBT, but they don't have anyone in the ED team at the moment.

ho hum

It's not working for me (I realise I'm talking to myself here).

I missed my last ED nurse appt because I hadn't been able to do what we agreed I would try.
I did go to my psychiatrist appt only to find the Dr I had been seeing has left and I got some new chap who knew NOTHING about me. I'd had an awful morning and just fell apart. It didn't occur to anyone to tell me it wouldn't be who I was expecting.

No sign of CBT.
Emailed Jo at Samaritans because I'm worried if it gets too much I'll overdose, but they haven't replied either. I collect my repeat prescription tomorrow which makes me nervous. I don't know if I can keep myself safe.

I haven't posted but I've been reading your thread and I'm so sorry that find yourself in such a dark place. Sending you lots of good thoughts and hoping the CBT comes through soon; it sounds like you have been really failed by the system

How’s it goingBrave?

In my mental health journey o would absolutely prefer psychiatry. They are doctor trained and then have specialised in their subject which means they can also prescribe medication if needed and also refer you on to CBT counselling etc.

I would take it as a positive.

Well done on your bravery. I had a friend in a situation close to yours and she simply was not brave enough to get help.

Today I am feeling OK. More on top of everything (work, life, Xmas prep).

Thank you for your kind words of support.

Samaritans have been great. I can tell them anything.

My ED nurse contacted me and we have made an appt for next week. I think we both accept there will be little improvement in my ED until I start CBT (have been referred but no idea whether I will be accepted and then how long the wait will be).

This is a heartbreaking thread to read, I really feel for you, OP, and admire you for seeking help.

Is the option of the hospital day unit still open? Could your sister - who knows about your ED - provide childcare while you go to hospital?

Please tell your ED nurse and psychiatrist that you are getting suicidal thoughts.

Thank you.
I presume the day unit option is still available, I haven't discussed it at all, it's really not an option. I started a new job in Oct and I can't just bunk off for weeks (?). This is the main block - I could sort out childcare (not with my sis, she's hours away), though my son really needs his Mum at the moment (all tied up with why I find myself in this place).

I realise the irony in saying that my son needs me, but I'm not willing/able to take the help to be the Mum I need to be.

I am too afraid to tell my ED nurse and psychiatrist how I've been feeling. I actually feel stronger for having this bunch of meds here but that I haven't touched them.

Hi Brave,

I’ve just read through your thread and you’re so strong. I’m going through something very similar with the over exercise and eating issues so I can empathise with how you feel.

If you’re feeling so low, use the support of the ED team that’s they’re there for even though it’s such a difficult thing to bring yourself to do.

Keep going and fighting

OP - if you had cancer or complications from diabetes, you wouldn't hesitate to go into hospital, work notwithstanding. Can you not treat your ED the same?

You need to be alive and strong for your DC (and for work) - you cannot continue this way indefinitely. You have been so brave seeking help and telling your sister.

The specialists think they are coming to the end of the line with you and are (or were) recommending the day unit. Do please reconsider.

Thank you for your kind words. You all speak sense, I know that.

I suppose the whole control element of the ED is overriding rational thoughts.

I’m ok. Busy but good weekend ahead. Collecting DS1 from uni. DS2 to football and father Xmas tomorrow. Both my boys with me

I am completely dreading work Xmas meal. Had to pre-order so I know what I’m getting.

Any tips on how to eat small amount w/o drawing attention?

Just concentrate on enjoying the occasion, watch other people having fun. Don't think about the food.

Just east as much or as little as you can so you don't need to purge in the restaurant toilets. If someone comments on how little you are eating, just mention something about a gippy stomach

I don't think people really pay that much attention to what other people are eating. Alternatively, talk a lot and then look faintly surprised when they come to clear your plate and there's still a lot left. Take care

How about just eating the healthy stuff.

So you can then eat a good meal of lots of veg and maybe some of the white meat. So then a) you’ll enjoy it because you know not lots of calories b) you will be eating nourishing food c) everyone will just think you’re very healthy and don’t like sweet stuff / roast potatoes etc

Thank you. It was fine. We all know each other very well so it would have been hard to blag my way through. So I just ate what I wanted and talked a great deal. Either no one noticed or if they did they were considerate enough not to comment.

Well done.

Saw ED nurse on Thursday. Still very underweight but didn’t lose any since last time.
Nothing happening with CBT.
Dreading Xmas food and change in routine. I’ve got a cold as well.

Have wrapped zero presents.

No loss is a real achievement, well done.
I'm glad you have your boys home for Christmas, that will be a lovely thing.

Xmas is hard. The food and expectation and the change in daily routines.