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Binge Eating Disorder Support 3

994 replies

FightingBed2014 · 13/04/2015 18:49

Welcome, this thread is for those that have disordered eating / Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and need support. We are all working towards a better relationship with food, together. Everyone is welcome to join in and share as much or as little as you like. Our focus is on learning to be happy with who we are right now and moving away from our negative self image, thoughts and eating patterns one step at a time.

Previous threads can be found here:

Thread 1 March 2014
Thread 2 October 2014

My blog following recovery from BED can be read here:Fighting BED

Many of us are following Dr Fairburn's Overcoming Binge Eating Second Edition book Here This is also used by a lot of Eating Disorder services in their treatment programmes.

Although we have no rules, we would ask that people either avoid talking about or be mindful when it is necessary that the following can be a trigger for those with an eating disorder; asking advice on how to start a new diet, talking about specific weight and clothes sizes. Please also remember that those supporting you need support too.

This thread was started by a BED sufferer and the majority of contributors are Eating disorder sufferers and not professionals. As with any online forum, it is best to supplement support on here with real life support and advice from professionals

OP posts:
FightingBed2014 · 12/05/2016 09:00

How is everyone doing today? We have sunshine here which makes getting up easier. If you haven't seen the summer F&F clothing range at Tesco yet, highly recommend a look!

I bought loads of trousers!! (unheard of for myself, I normally get tops and either can't fit in or face trying on another pair of trousers to only end up with disappointment). This year they have really upped thier game! Lots of choice, good sizes across the whole range and some of the most comfortable clothes I have had in years. I left with a whole bag full without breaking the bank and only one item was a top Grin .

This summer my challenge is to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about what I have on. No clothes are going to make me instantly look smaller but I can choose to make choices that I feel good about. So my usual same old outfits are getting a break and I am trying anything and everything new to see what suits me as I am, rather than longing for being smaller. Yesterday I felt good on the school run wearing my new super comfy trousers. I might give a skirt (with comfort shorts under) a whirl today.x

Binge Eating Disorder Support 3
OP posts:
IronMaggie · 12/05/2016 10:31

Great to have you back Fighting, have thought about you lots. Well done for taking the time to re-balance. Liking your new approach to summer dressing, I really struggle with it and end up feeling uncomfortable for months at a time, because being shrouded in black from head to toe is easier than the anxiety of not...

I had a run of good days last week, followed by some bad, and suspect the reason (yet again) is lack of sleep. Yes, work is really busy, but even so I don't help matters by faffing /worrying / eating when I should be sleeping. I need someone to follow me around telling me what to do!

Margo, I read that article too. Love her, but some of the comments below made me a bit cross / sad.

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 13/05/2016 19:46

LOVE the trousers fighting - they look comfy and fashionable - win, win. I have bought a couple of dresses for forthcoming parties and whilst I didn't like buying my actual size, it means I have a couple of nice outfits. Feel fortunate to be able to buy new clothes, appreciate not all can.

I haven't seen my counsellor since Feb. I had to cancel 2 appts as I was working so much which cost me the fee each time without any benefit as she obv has a cancellation period. I am contemplating going back, but I also feel I'd got to a stage where I was struggling to think of what to say. But if I am finishing I need to 'finish off' well, as I have a habit of ending it abruptly/badly and then I feel I cannot go back to them....

Maggie - how can you get to sleep? What can you do in order to do that...?

And never read the comments on any 'consumer' publication article! They seem to extract both extremes. I like the Guardian app as you have to click for the comments, so you can happily read without looking at them!

Had a really sucessful work event yest, a year in the planning but all I could reflect on was a comment from my client on a v small aspect that wasn't as positive. I think people were expecting to me to beaming at the event but I think I was probably 'coming down' from the worry of it going ok/not ok. My client sent me some flowers too. Wish I could accept compliments well :(

Focuing on a day at a time is really helping me at the mo. It just means I can challenge any thoughts as put them out of my mind. It feels really refreshing. Will see if it lasts!

Hope you have good weekends. What have you planned? Kids parties here, although I am checking out venues for my 40th with a friend, so looking forward to that.

Bonnie152 · 15/05/2016 07:21

Hi everyone, long time lurker/occasional poster to this thread.

Have been reading back through the recent posts and looking at some of the links you've posted - the one about intuitive eating is very interesting!

I've had a few recent developments. A few months ago I joined SW which was great for 6 weeks, I lost a stone and didn't binge. Of course like every diet before I couldn't keep it up so tumbled back into binging eventually.

I had a sort of 'aha!' moment where I'd just had enough and knew I couldn't carry on with constant diets. I researched and listened to lots of podcasts and read lots of articles (Isabel Foxen duke is my fave - she talks a lot of sense) and realised that I need to completely allow all foods and stop waking up each day aiming to be thinner.

I'm starting to accept my body and think nice thoughts about it (which is hard at times as I'm a size 22 and desperately would like to be back down to my 16/18 pre children size) which is pretty liberating. I've been putting more effort into my general appearance and investing in new clothes so I feel good. Before I'd always just buy clothes that would 'do' for now because I was always thinking I'd slim down.

At the moment I'm eating lots of treats and foods I like without feeing guilty but my body's starting to not feel great, sluggish and bloated. So I feel I'm at a place where I can start choosing food that will make me feel good.

Interestingly, when I had my 'aha!' Moment I realised that the only time since I was about 12 that I've eaten normally was during pregnancy. I ate a completely balanced diet, having things I fancied, choosing things I knew would be good for me/baby, not trying to lose weight, not worrying too much, loving my body because it was carrying a baby. I'd love to strive for that again!

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 17/05/2016 18:57

Hello Bonnie - thanks for sharing, sounds like you are doing well on recovery/the path to recovery (however you see it).

I know being kind/being nice to myself for today was a bit of a moment for me. I love IFD too.

Have you noticed yourself treating yourself more kindly mentally? I know for me that is a big thing.

I liked this [[http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/may/13/successful-women-pursuit-perfection article ]] about what successful womendon't do. There is so much pressure to do things...this article suggests that actually if someone is doing Y & Z, then they probably aren't doing A & B, despite what they might suggest/one might think.

As a perfectionist I find it difficult to accept the idea that I cannot do it all and do it well....which is frankly a recipe for misery...

On a more postive note, I was browsing some plus size online shops on my Tube journey home. I noted how one store insists on most things being called 'cover up'. Which I find such a depressing term and something we have discussed on here when I first joined.

Interestingly I didn't feel as emotional about it as back then, which is good. They are just clothes and what the clothes store wants to call them, is up to to them, if I like them I could buy or not. The concept of 'covering up' doesn't feel as difficult. Not really sure if that makes any sense but it feel positive to me!

How is everyone?

FightingBed2014 · 18/05/2016 10:58

Hi, can't believe it Wednesday already, the week is flying. We had a rather busy weekend with a joint birthday party for both DS. The training with our new puppy is going well and I'm loving having company at home. I am back on my medication (although a lower does) as my temper was awful! Its been hard to not allow self defeating thoughts come in, especcially as it appears likely I will always be on them. I can cope with needing them, its just a chemical imbalance / wiring issue after all but the side effects of being tired and lethargic all the time is something I don't want.

Bonny, lovely to have you with us on the thread. You sound like you have made some rather big changes on your own already, well done!

Margo, well done the long planned event. Hopefully you are feeling some sense of relief now? I understand how you feel regarding the counselling appointment, its a kind of biting the bullet descison, easier said than done.

I hope the week is going OK for everyone. I am off for a nap as I'm falling asleep Blush .x

OP posts:
rla0402 · 19/05/2016 21:31

Hi there, I've been scrolling through this feed and find it inspirational how well you've all done. Binge eating is something which I've battled with for years and it was only during my last pregnancy (my second child is 9 weeks old) that I managed to control it because of constant sickness. Unfortunately , its reared its ugly head again what with a new baby and a nearly four year old to look after. I've recently joined Weight Watchers too and wonder if that hasn't helped. It made me realise when I spent most of last night in bed agonising over what I could eat today as I've had a bad few nights with my little one coupled with coming down with a cold - back to the usual of using food as comfort. I know why I do it (tiredness, stress, anxierty mainly and even boredom) but still slip into old habits. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

cbigs · 20/05/2016 18:59

I haven't read the full thread but does anyone find its either on , and you cannot imagine it ever going away, or its off , and you don't know why you struggled so much before? Unfortunately more on in my case although much more in control at the moment than it has been.

IronMaggie · 20/05/2016 22:52

I know exactly what you mean cbigs - I'll sometimes have a run of good days where I think I might have imagined it all. Only to be brought back down to earth with a thud a few days later....

Do you find that there's any pattern? What's different about the times when you feel in control?

IronMaggie · 20/05/2016 23:34

Welcome rla, it sounds like you have an awful lot on your plate at the moment, that certainly doesn't make things easy! Have you managed to have a look at any of the resources that the guys have mentioned? There's a program of cognitive behavioural therapy that one of the books goes through (Overcoming Binge Eating) which has helped a few of us, and talks about finding other ways of dealing with the situations you mentioned. Could there be other approaches to your stress / tiredness / boredom, that would actually help you?

And I don't know a lot about weight watchers but if I've learnt anything over the last year it's that dieting and restriction is not the answer! It took me a long time to realise that for some reason...!

KindDogsTail · 21/05/2016 00:02

I have not read the full thread, so do not know if anyone else has mentioned this:
As well as Fairburn's, a helpful book is Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen.
She advocates eating enough so the brain will not think one is starving (Fairburn advocates three meals and two snacks a day) and a form of mindfulness to be aware of urges while not needing to follow them - but this is a simplistic description about a book that has a lot to say.

To get through emotions another helpful thing can be Emotional Freedom Technique Emotional Healing in Minutes: Simple Acupressure Techniques For Your Emotions by Valery Lynch

IronMaggie · 21/05/2016 06:47

Hello Kind, I definitely found Brain over Binge really helpful. I read it a year ago and immediately afterwards had my longest binge free period yet. (I know she says not to count but I couldn't help it - it was 5 weeks, which was amazing progress for me at the time)!

She takes a slightly different stance to others in that she's decidedly anti-therapy. And I know that some struggle with the personal responsibility vs mental illness dichotomy. But I love the way she articulates the upper and lower brain principles (or whatever she calls it), and talks more about the hard, physiological reasons for bingeing. That really struck a chord with me because until then I'd struggled with the fact that I, a rational, intelligent person (kinda) was doing something that I clearly did not want to be doing. And seeing how a crash diet led me to where I was really helped me to understand how dangerous and unhelpful restriction is.

But because I know that people get a lot out of CBT & talking therapies too, I think Fairburn is a good general starting point for most.

I definitely haven't ever looked into acupuncture though, very interesting indeed! Do you have personal experience of it?

Thanks for the recommendations Smile

KindDogsTail · 21/05/2016 12:52

Iron the book I mentioned Emotional Freedom Technique in minutes is brilliant and not acupuncture, though certain points of the body are touched hence acupressure is mentioned.
I do have personal experience of that book, and was immensely helped by it
for cravings for nicotine - but you would need to read it to see. I think it may be a form of mindfulness mixed in with touching these certain points. THe mind responds like a peeled onion revealing layer after layer of a sort of under thought and the body responds too - involuntary yawning and sometimes crying in both cases acting as a release.

I have read that even better than CBT can be, I believe is DBT for binge eating - it is CBT with mindfulness but I do not know who does it in the Uk. But maybe that is why Kathryn Hanson is so helpful.

Her description of the physiological response of the body/brain balance is very useful I think.

Iron I should explain I was somewhat affected by an eating disorder at one point, but my reading was through experience and concern over a relative.

KindDogsTail · 21/05/2016 13:01

Lou
Not so good ... now I'm back at work I am absolutely struggling again, severely restricting. I just find the working environment so stressful and there is a culture of not breaking for lunch or eating at all.

In my opinion modern work place habits with no proper breaks and no adequate real good food available is probably the cause of massive ill health and eating disorders developing.

There should be a campaign to stop it. Probably one of the worst offending employers is the health service with nurses working long shifts with no breaks and just fast sugar snacks and caffeine drinks available.

Fairburn says that the single most effective cure for Binge EAting disorder
is eating three meals and two snacks every day. Kathryn Hanson says when she finally got better she never under ate.

Binge eating disorder is often triggered by starvation and then becomes locked in to a person's brain.

KindDogsTail · 21/05/2016 13:11

Has anyone tried not restricting, but adding?

70 grms of protein a day, including omega 3 oils, spread through the day (5 or 6 times) with plenty of vegetables?

KindDogsTail · 21/05/2016 13:27

Binge Eating disorder can lead to a form of malnutrition. People forget this because of worrying about being over weight. It is often triggered by starvation and on off eating, eating a lot of sugar and high fat food (that drains the body of nutrients then trying to compensate by eating too little.)
Then the starved brain gets caught in a circle.

Given that binge eating is an eating disorder the other side of the coin from anorexia, what about zinc?
www.youreatopia.com/blog/2013/6/15/zinc-supplementation-for-restrictive-eating-disorders.html

Here is an article about the role of vitamin D3
www.livestrong.com/article/457020-low-vitamin-d-levels-fatigue-with-weight-gain/

B vitamins with vit B 12 play an important role for mood and energy. Also there can be an element of compulsion with binge eating. Here is an article about B12 related to OCD.
www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3271502/

FightingBed2014 · 21/05/2016 14:11

Hi cbigs , I can also resonate with the idea you asked about. Even when I went for treatment I still wondered if I had imagined it. Not so much when I had eaten to the point if it hurting though. Do you think its perhaps our brains way of maintaining a coping mechanism, denial serving a purpose?

Maggie , always good to see you! We have indeed been here a while now and done so much. Work can be such a hard place to navigate eating and a balance. Do you find it comes down to a choice between being seen to be brilliant at our job, or concentrating on eating well?

Kind I have completed my DBT course with the Eating Disorder Service, it was invaluable to all of us on the course. Those if us that completed made great progress. I wish I could share the material but have been asked not to as they feel it needs to be done so with a professional guidance. There is a website link in my blog to someone they recommended looking up.

OP posts:
KindDogsTail · 21/05/2016 15:58

FightingBed2014 it is interesting you think DBT has helped. Would you just say if it's true that it has a mindfulness component, as I have read?

Also, do you know where a person can get DBT outside of the Eating Disorder Service which probably needs an NHS referral and a person to be in the right area?

jassS · 22/05/2016 15:35

Hi all, was away from Europe for 3 weeks almost, long holiday with kids and husband. Ate all I wanted, got back home and once more realised that the best strategy to weight control is no control. I was the same after holidays, exactly same, to last hundre grams. Yes, we ate a lot, but we walked about 10km daily, too. So my body, an astonishing thing, needed all the stuff I was putting into myself..... Hard to believe the body knows and I really must not try to control it. I still struggle to accept it, even if I kmow it is true.

Welcome newcomers - and indeed, I found adding food in is better than restricting. Fruit and vegs need to be eaten, good proteins, too. And absolutely no missing meals! The rst willxslowly follow.

As of being finally free - I am closer to being free than I have been for years. But I still occasionally overeat. I have decided it is not the binge, just normal - everyone overeats occasionally, people without BED must do it sometimes, too. They just do not dwell on it , or punish themselves by restricting next days.

Interestingly, I am now also starting to feel the benefits of relaxed eating around my body image as well. I think better of my body when I try clothes on in shops than I did when I was young, beautiful and slim. Then always something was wrong. I am now getting much better in finding clothes that make me beautiful rather than trying to fit myself into stuff that by definition will not suit me. I.e. I buy wide-legged trousers instead fretting about my thigs being to big to look good in regular trousers or even worse i slim fits.

I shopped a lot while away (cheap summery stuff). I found so many clothes which looked beautiful on me. As I was at the other end of the world I had no fixed ideas about how their style of clothing should fit me, had more open mind and came home totally enlightened. I even tolerated quite lightly that I almost always had to by the largest size in their shops, a fact which would have badly hurt me a couple of years ago. Was in Asia, forgodssake, I am a giant by their standards anyway at my 5ft9, so it seemed reasonable I had to look at big sizes.

I still occasionally wish my ribs showed better under my skin or weigh myself too often, so defo not cured, but in remission. I have fiven up on any hope that BED might be cured. It can only be contained. Accepting this makes life easier, as I know it will resurface at some moment and then I again have to make sure I move on. Prviously it was damn disappointing thinking you are making progress and then relapsing.

Sport is worrysome - I will,never run again. My disks are in degenrative state, so running will forever be painful. But bikes, skates etc. is allowed. Secretly I feel relieved I will never run a half marathon again, even if I thought I liked my sport. Maybe I did not, after all? Or did originally and then was afraid to quit? Or liked the "being good" aspect of it? No ida. But relief is unexpected. Yet I have it. I mostly walk daily now, and it is good not to have to change for sports, just go out and walk. If i feel I need more I get the bike out.

I will stick with you girls now again, I hope I can be on often enough to react more promptly to posts here.

KindDogsTail · 22/05/2016 16:08

Very inspiring jassS.

cbigs · 23/05/2016 09:02

And this is how it starts... I eat my lunch on the way into work because I'm bored or it's Monday or whatever then it starts the day badly might as well write today off etc etc then need to go and buy lunch as my made lunch became breakfast just so annoying . I'm annoying the shit out of myself at the moment . AngrySadCakeCakeCake

jassS · 23/05/2016 18:07

CBigs, was tour breakfast big enough to last you until lunchtime? Did it have protein in it, it lasts longer? It is easy to misjudge the amount of food one needs and trying to save calories for later in the day. But I have actually found that huge breakfast and proper lunch is one of the best remedies against evening binges.

cbigs · 23/05/2016 23:48

That's interesting actually... I leave early for work ( early for me) so tend to do cereal bar type things . But I think the eating lunch early is as much bad habit and comfort eating as hunger ... It's the short term gratification monkey on my back all the frigging time. I imagined hitting it with a brick today Blush
But that's something I've not tried...

KindDogsTail · 24/05/2016 00:16

cbigs something like porridge made with milk or with some seeds plus two eggs and a piece of toast for breakfast might really help. Truly.

You could have a cereal bar too if you like them, but it does not have enough protein on its own and if it is sugary you will feel hungry in a short time so it needs to be extra - not the mainstay of your breakfast.

Then you would still need a morning snack with protein in before your lunch,
then a lunch with protein and vegetables.

Then a tea with some protein and maybe an bit of fruit.

Then dinner with more protein and vegetables.

Add these meals.

Fairburn says the single most important thing to do is eat throughout the day.
Breakfast snack lunch snack breakfast and maybe snack again.

Others also promote about 70 grms of protein per day plus complex carbohydrates.

If you make a mistake just quickly notice your breathing and try counting it, and if you keep getting thoughts like "Oh I have wrecked everything now" you just notice the thought. "Ah, there you are again thought. Yes, I am thinking I have ruined it all."
Then carry on noticing your breathing counting your breathes. Have a glass of water. Clean your teeth. When it's time for your next snack or meal, have it.

MrsMargoLeadbetter · 24/05/2016 02:57

Jass sorry to hear about not running again, although sounds like you are coming to terms with it. Flowers

Cbigs I'd agree with the others. I think you are hungry which is why you are eating your lunch. What are the timings of the cereal bar and then eating 'lunch'? I would try something more substanial too. I do think cereal bars are a handy 'in the bag' snack as they are robust, last ages (not that I leave them in my bag that long!) but there are more filling foods you could have for breakfast.

Also, there are lots of negative messages out there about food/eating and lots of positive messages about restricting/dieting/getting thinner. Prior to trying to recover I approached every bit of food with thoughts of 'I shouldn't eat' in my head. Is something similar going on for you?