Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

Thanks for starting a new thread Fighting.

Thanks for your advice sleep

I do have butter on my bread and sometimes have cheese instead of jam. Tbh this week is not typical as we have visitor, normally I often have home made veg soup or tuna salad for lunch, but haven't had time this week, sandwiches have been easier.

Yes I mainly snack in the evening when watching tv. It starts as just wanting one, but then I seem to crave more and more.

I can't face eggs a lot of the time, as when I used to low carb I ate too many!

I think the problem is I deprived myself of carbs for so long that I'm fed up of meat and veg. .

I don't want you to ban carbs Carrie, just think about the quality and variety of the ones you choose (the less processed the better) and make sure you are getting good fat and protein with them. There's no such thing as an essential carbohydrate, but if your body is lacking protein and EFA's then it can't repair and regenerate itself properly and you will feel hungry (and very likely anxious, and grumpy, and possibly have headaches, skin complaints and digestive issues) because of this. You interpret this as craving sugar but that's not really what your body is chasing. You could take an Omega 3 supplement, that would also help?

How are you today Fighting?

Thanks sleep. I know what you mean. I'm eating a lot of sweet stuff at the moment. It has been forbidden for so long. .

I generally don't eat white bread because it does cause me digestive problems. The rye bread is 100% wholemeal rye, the cheese goats cheese., this is something quite new for me.

I take a vit d3, evening primrose oil capsule, magnesium tablet and psyllium husk capsule every day.

Hi. Thank you for the lovely message Margo. I wouldn't be where I am now without you lovely ladies. I think about you all.

Today I am feeling particularly proud! Reading posts on the last thread from Purple and Margo was very uplifting. To know you have had such major breakthroughs is wonderful. Carrie I love to see that you are feeling able to explore areas to change, I know its not easy but you're doing so well!

As for me, well making the decision to see my GP for the depression and anxiety, has really lifted a weight. I'm not panicking about not coping now, its just something I will find a way to cope with. Ironically I haven't even been yet!(takes a while to get in). Work has been busy today but its my best time. I lose myself in it and don't really worry about anything.

My eating has picked up a little. I admire your steps to consider reduing what you eat purple. I will leave it for a while and see how I go with other things. Like Margo I tend to backslide when implementing changes like that. I weighed myself last week and I have lost a bit of weight. I think it's just the slow changes I've made. My clothes are a little loose. The challenge now is to break the mental cycle because normally at this stage of a diet I would eat more. I can't explain the thought process other than I felt it was ok because I weighed less. That and looking at my control issues sleep touched on. I definitely need to be in control of things to feel ok.

Fighting, glad that the decision to see your gp has helped you feel a little better.

I have a tendency to binge when I either lose or put on weight .. don't know why though. So these days I stay away from the scales most of the time.

I am so grateful for this thread, to find people who understand. I don't want to feel that how I look is important, but I can't shake that off yet. Please continue to be patient with me.

It's ok to have the sweet stuff Carrie, but give yourself choices when you feel like you want to snack. First try and identify if it is actually hunger you are feeling or something else (boredom, habit, anxiety, sadness, tension...is food going to help or could something else be better - a bath, a call to a friend, a walk outside for ten minutes, doing your nails, chatting to us, punching a pillow ?) If food is the solution then keep alternatives to sugar available - like nut butter on apple slices, or Greek yoghurt and fruit, some dark chocolate or a couple of oatcakes with a bit of cheese. Whatever you choose, try and eat it mindfully so you get maximum enjoyment and register where on a scale of enjoyment it lands and how you feel afterwards.

Carrie it's normal (and healthy) that how you look should be important to you. That's not the same as saying you must/should be a certain size in order to be attractive .

Sorry, remind me because a few people joined the thread at the same time as you - do you believe you need to lose weight?

Fighting have you given any thought to what purpose your 'unwanted' weight might be serving for you? If your reaction to losing a bit is to act in a way that will lead you to regain it then it's likely that you need it in some way....a safety blanket, a disguise, a distraction from the 'real' (tougher) things in life that need sorting, an excuse for not fully participating in life somehow perhaps....?

I have a quote for you guys that I love - a different way of looking at ourselves....

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? Marianne Williamson

Yes sleep, I am overweight, could do with losing 1.5 or 2 stone, I'm no longer at a healthy bmi.

I'll try to pick healthier snacks, I've just been extremely stressed this week. I lost it with my son earlier, then when he snapped back I started crying Very embarrassing. I need to get a grip.

However, this evening I've had a mini snickers and a small bag of crisps. Not so healthy. But I did try to eat slower and enjoy it.

Carrie there is no race or deadline for what you want to achieve. We don't have expectations for you, just a listening ear and support as you go through this.

Sleep yes I do hide behind my weight. I really don't like to stand out from the crowd and being overweight means I can slip under most people's radars. its not something I had given much though to for a while but I am aware I do it.

As the quote you posted explained, I fear being good at things. I equate that with being obnoxious and arrogant (just for me). Simply put if I dumb myself down I don't run the risk of being like some close to me and offending others. I don't really have many examples of being openly confident without the arrogance, around me.

With regard to fitting a tightly defined definition of attractive...I met this woman after a (particularly hot) hot yoga class recently, we were both struggling to recover, I was a mess, she somehow looked amazing , we got chatting and she told me she had just moved here and what she did. She has been through the whole weight loss thing (on The Biggest Loser!) and back again,

Sorry, posted too soon...

She was incredibly attractive, beautiful (obviously), but it was her utter comfort in her own skin and charisma and sheer smilieness that made her stunning.

She looks great! Sadly very different to how I look However, I also know that I've lost weight in the past, got down to size 10 and still didn't like what I saw in the mirror.

Same here. Before I started this, no matter what size I've been, I have always felt fat and unattractive. Inevitably I would at some stage look back and see how I really looked and felt sad I wasted time feeling bad. Yet it would still continue.

I much prefer learning to like myself rather than punishing. Still a very new and novle concept for me but one that fits so much better! I may be big but I my DH loves it and I have boobs Gok Wan would be proud of.

Well most of us don't look like models, slim or plus size so that's normal Carrie . I think it's good to have examples of attractive women that don't have BMI's under 18 though and I find her journey with regard to her weight and body image fascinating and it illustrates that slim does not = happy, healthy or comfortable in your skin.

Carrie keep doing what you are doing with food, just think of the choice of what you feel you need at the time, sweet stuff is an option, just not the automatic thing when you snack . It will take time to really believe you can eat as much as you like and then the attraction will fade, you've only been doing it a week or so, give yourself a break . As Fighting says, there's no race or deadline and we are here to listen and pick you up if you feel you fall along the way .

Fighting I remember talking to you here about mirror work, you were horrified by the thought and you were actually avoiding mirrors altogether at that time. What is going on with mirrors and you now ?

Hi. Just popping on to mark my place. Work and home manic at the moment. Have got the weekend off but have cakes to make so will try to get back on while the cakes are in the oven.

Good luck with the cakes purple.

sleep I worked on what my thoughts were when I looked in the mirror. It was almost a physical hurt to look at myself before. That couldn't continue as it would 'feed' my need to binge and my self loathing. Instead, each time I looked in the mirror I had to identify one positive thing for myself, even if it was a tiny part of me. (Oddly I have never had an issue with my stretch marks from DC. I see them as a bagde of all I went through to have my wonderful little people).

It has taken most of the year but it has worked. I have accepted how I look to me. Thats not the same as loving all that I see, don't get me wrong I would like to be slimmer. It just means when I look I can see if I'm looking ok or on occasions when I make an effort, good and even pretty. Who would have thought I would look nice in a dress! I think a lot has to do with improving how I see myself on a whole. I had to allow myself to think nicely about me. There are good points I can see now and I have achieved so much this year I feel quite proud.

I still worry a bit about what others think and being with certain people can make me anxious about my size but the rest is ok and I am happy being me. Maybe one day soon won't give a shit at all.

I even got a few looks when out at the weekend (it was a nice boost to the confidence but Mr Fighting is the only one for me ). I still look the same physically but I guess being happier in my own skin has changed what vibe I give off to others.x

Fighting the progress you have made is amazing, you should be extremely proud - you wouldn't contemplate looking in mirrors when I first mentioned it! It's a very effective (though also v challenging) practice!

Please can I join you. I have a massive problem with binge eating and it's making me terribly depressed. I purchased a couple of self help books a few months ago but still haven't read them.

I've got to do something...I'm out of control. I'm also at the point where I'm avoiding doing stuff because I hate how I look so much.

Of course you can. Welcome house

If you have time read through the previous thread. There is lots of helpful advice.

Hi House welcome. As purple said there is lots of advice in past posts. We are here to listen to as much or as little as you'd like to share. You're in good company here, we all understand the feelings you are experiencing and how overwhelming they can be.x

Welcome house, tell us a bit about yourself

Purple enjoy the cake making , I was thinking about you and what you said about starting to cut back a little bit. I think maybe wait until you start your new job, I think if it brings the changes you hope for in terms of how much you enjoy it and how much more you can enjoy the rest of life (shifts etc) the you may find you lose lbs without trying. I think there may be an element of being 'stuck' in a job you weren't enjoying for so long and which had a knock on detrimental effect on other areas of life correlating with your weight being stuck too .