Binge Eating Disorder Support 3

[FightingBed2014]

Welcome, this thread is for those that have disordered eating / Binge Eating Disorder (BED) and need support. We are all working towards a better relationship with food, together. Everyone is welcome to join in and share as much or as little as you like. Our focus is on learning to be happy with who we are right now and moving away from our negative self image, thoughts and eating patterns one step at a time.

Previous threads can be found here:

Thread 1 March 2014
Thread 2 October 2014

My blog following recovery from BED can be read here:Fighting BED

Many of us are following Dr Fairburn's Overcoming Binge Eating Second Edition book Here This is also used by a lot of Eating Disorder services in their treatment programmes.

Although we have no rules, we would ask that people either avoid talking about or be mindful when it is necessary that the following can be a trigger for those with an eating disorder; asking advice on how to start a new diet, talking about specific weight and clothes sizes. Please also remember that those supporting you need support too.

This thread was started by a BED sufferer and the majority of contributors are Eating disorder sufferers and not professionals. As with any online forum, it is best to supplement support on here with real life support and advice from professionals

And, consider going to bed to avoid the binge. I do that sometimes.

DP has devised a plan for me. Breakfast, filling lunch, filling dinner.

I don't think snacks are wise. Generally, these are my downfall. I can't snack. I must eat more.

I am on a weightloss mission at the same time. At this point, I think they are one and the same so should be ok. This may change later.

I'm on my way to bed. As soon as I can be bothered to move

Hi,

Thank you for such supportive posts! I still plan to be part of the thread if that's ok but I may be lurking more :-)

Having read your posts I still have a long way to come. I am planning to do the following:

Breakfast: Decaff coffee, white tea... whatever I fancy (chic, cereal bread) just to eat slowly

Lunch - protein + piles of veggies (and bread if I fancy it - as part of a meal)- I haven't been actively avoiding bread but I'm suspecting it's making me really tired (I'm not coeliac, I think it's just a carb- serotonin thing) but I don't want to restrict it at lunchtime

Supper: Protein -piles of veggies (plus pasta or bread if I fancy it as part of a meal)

I am allowing myself chocolate or whatever I fancy as snacks or at the end of a meal (apart from breakfast I can't shift the 5 - 6am chocolate and coffee addiction, I'm like a woman possessed... but, for now, I'm going to forgive myself, enjoy it and just focus on getting myself healthy - mentally and physically! I'm hoping I can work out a way to get over this! I need a reason to get up with gusto in the am! ). Please feel free to say if you see potential flaw in my plan (I know it's not perfect and I will gain some weight but as I mentioned this should be more nutritionally balanced, help overcome some of the flagging energy levels).

It's odd, as we need to avoid too many rules, but having some kind of plan, I am hoping may help. I calculated for yesterday and currently I am consuming over 2000 kcal but I've decided to scrap caring for a bit and focus on not bingeing... I'm not sure if this is a great plan....we shall see!

I have noticed the two times I tend to comfort eat when I feel most tired and grumpy (!) 6am, 10.30 am and 3pm, also when stressed (!) I am tempted to try the vape idea! I may try snacking on something at these times (I love peppers, edamae, pomegranate, apples etc so for the moment that may keep my mouth busy!).

A while ago IF did help, restricting until 2pm then having whatever I liked, I may try that again but at the moment I am just going to see how I get on as this regular eating seems to be working for you guys! I am nowhere near to how well some of you are doing (go gals!!).

I am not entirely convinced restricting has caused BE for me, but it may have, but now I am trying to find ways to cope with anxiety or that stressed tense feeling (you know what happens after that!)... that's the biggie...

Apologies again for removing previous posts. I think looking ahead is a bit more positive and accepting when things don't go to plan.

Take care all, I will be lurking, I will only share what isn't working or what is :-)

Good luck to all. I am feeling very forgiving (to us all) today after reading our posts, and I do think we have something that makes us genetically susceptible too (I am not absolving responsibility, but I am absolutely sure they will find a gene linked to this... I could be wrong... but I am going to do my upmost to find a solution!). xx

PS - the reason I am mentioning the protein and veggies, it sounds quite controlled but this weekend I had panini with avocado at lunchtime and felt like going to sleep afterwards, I realised I don't have much protein during the day.. and sleepiness = frumpiness = trigger

Elfin that sounds like a good plan. With the 'no rules yet some rules' thing it can be useful to think as you do with dc's - assuming no foods are banned for them. They (you) might ask for crisps but you, as the parent, probably think about what else they have had that day before agreeing, refusing or offering them a more nutritious alternative or addition. Do the same when you fancy eating anything yourself, consider how it fits into the whole picture of what you are eating that day? Have you eaten the things you really need? If not then try and do that and then see how you feel.

You are right on the protein and veggies Elfin, although I suspect your sleepy feeling had more to do with the panini than the lack of protein. I'd also suggest making sure breakfast includes good fat and protein, it somehow sets the tone for the rest of the day and studies show that a sugar/carb based breakfast mean we crave more of the same as the day goes on.

Carrie three meals sound good but beware of avoiding snacks as a 'rule', it will be self defeating if you get so ravenous by meal time that you eat too fast, too much and possibly make poor choices about what to have. This process is about getting back in touch with hunger signals and satiety, not denying them as we do when on a diet .

Hello I'm new here, is anyone else Bullimic? I have been Bullimic for around 11 years and have had about 2 years in total where I haven't purged in that time, at my worst I purge everything from meals to cups of tea, at the moment I'm managing it but doing it about once a day, my binges aren't huge so it's more of an anorexia/bulimia than a binge and purge bulimia.

I am completely obsessed with food, it's all I ever think about, talk about and I always feel hungry. So fed up.

High Royal, here we have binge eating disorder, a relatively benign form of of ED. have you seeked professional help for you rbulimia? However, we all get the feeling that food is the only thing in our heads ans our only interest. Our way of copying is teying to let go of resteictions, hence making food less intersting, and focusing on getting good stuff into us rather than not eating "bad" stuff. I know nothing of bulimia, apart from the fact that when I first started yo-to dieting then in gaining periods I tried a couple of time to make me sick after a binge, but could not luckily.You have my sympathy!

Carrie I agree with no snacking. If meals are plentiful snacks are not needed, but do not be too strict! We tend to limit portions and may actually undereat with our aim to eat healthily during mealtimes, so it may happen you sometimes need that snack, then allow yourself to have it. But it is teue for me for example that if I had a proper meal it does last for 4 hours and an urge to snack is often in reality thirst or boredom. Bthw, how much you all drink water or herbsl teas? I go through at least 2 litres of these liquids per day, it seems I am now able to pause before I eat if it is not mealtime and check whether I really need a snack or is it thirst in reality.
On being also om weight loss trail - as Lou said, earing normally may mean we do not lose weight - why should we, if eating normally? Of course some weight loss may happen if you get the binge under control, but there is an urge to be more limiting with portion size or food choice if we notice weight loss is missing, whoch is the way back to binges. It really is tricky to find the balance....

Elfin, I would think twice about fasting until early afternoon. I feel for BED sufferers this is tempting fate! Do not do it, it may lead to bad binges!

I have had 2 gorgeous days of three meals, and nice full feelong lasting until next meal, for roughly 4 hours. Am really starting to enjoy that real normal hunger I feel at mealtime. My meals are at 8, around 1 and then already 6ish, which of course means evening carried the snack-binge risk. But I can not drag out longer the break between lunch and dinner, as I would feel deprived and certainly binge thereafter. If I get hungry again 9ish, I eat something small and rush off to the bed!

Royal you sound just like me. It's in my every waking thought. I've never purged. Until I had DD and many a sickness bug, I was terrified of vomit. Nowadays, I often consider it. You have my sympathy. It cannot be a nice experience and it must be affecting your health very seriously.

Elfin, post as much as you feel necessary. We promise no judgement. We are here for the often and occasional. I think it sounds like a good plan you have

How did everyone get on today?

I'm almost at the end of day 2. Today has been odd. I was really tired this morning. I snoozed my alarm for forty minutes in my sleep I missed my opportunity to exercise in my healthy lifestyle revolution. Maybe tomorrow...

I've had strange feelings all day. I'm not sure if it's aching in my arms from a small amount of push ups yesterday or what but it's similar to when you're really hungry and all limbs go a bit weak and extremely clumsy/lacking spacial awareness. Basically, I've been dropping and knocking stuff over all day. Apart from just before my lunch, I've not been physically hungry. I've had the mental desire to eat/ravage/annihilate any food I've been near but no physical hunger. DD had an aero and offered to share. I knew it would be the start so have resisted.

Snacks just don't work for me. I have to stick with the no snack mentality.

I told my very ladylike polish friend of my healthy eating. She gave advice saying eat x y and z, x times a day and 'after one week, you have the better skin and you know when you do the fart? It won't smell' I hope that makes you chuckle like it did me

Welcome Royal, one of the ladies here on the thread has Bulemia. We are very similar in our eating disorders, BED has the absence of purging. So I think you will likely find this a good place for support. We're here to help each other and everyone is welcome to join in.

Cassie, Your post made me wonder if you had eaten enough through the day? It may not be that but your description is how I would be had I restricted, just a thought.

It's great that you are on focus to change things. Try not to put too much focus on this being a whole life change right now. What I mean by that is, when we (those with ED) went on diets and plans to lose weight in a big way, we set ourselves unrealistic goals put the pressure on ourselves and when the resolve inevitably crashed we felt we had failed and began the self loathing process again. Taking an approach to change that is calm and accepting of good and bad days is more likely to be one we can stick with. Bear in mind to get to where we are today took years, it will take a long time to break away from habits etc.x

JassS, Sorry I didn't get chance to respond before. So glad you had a great time in London. I can see how you could only do the busy scene short term, I'm the same. Well done not just in running amazing distances but the progress with acceptance is wonderful. It's so nice to read your comments on running and being able to see how well you are doing rather than worries of shape etc. You sound very strong and healthy in body and mind, very inspiring.

Maggie, I read the book you recommended (free trial part). It's a good read and I am keen to know what it was that changed for her. I have a pile if books to read already so I may wait and let you tell us when you find out.

Dusky, the last post I read was positive, hopefully you're still feeling that way?

Margo, How is the mirror work going?

Royal, I meant to say higher up the thread us a page with lots of links to info that may be of interest to you.

Elfin, Good to see you will be lurking.x

I was talking about that today fighting. I think I have been like this for several years now. At least four. This is my third cycle of 'recovery' if it works.

The habits I have picked up are simply that, habits. They can be broken but it will take time. I think a lot of time and it will be a long hard slog.

I have eaten my normal breakfast, 2 x peanut butter on toast. Lunch, two chicken breasts with sauce/flavouring and salad and tea, 3 sausages with salad and a protein shake.

I think that's enough? Not 2000 calories but healthy and filling. I normally plan for veg for tea but I eat at work on a Tuesday as on the go so had salad twice.

Cassie, I did laugh quite a bit at your friends comment.

I have had a good couple of days, really feel like I have started a new chapter. I have a sense of being close to recovery which I haven't experienced before. I'm no longer using 'fake it til I make it', without realising at some point so many things have clicked into place and are my natural reactions. There is a new post on the blog which goes into the details but I feel more confident and firmer with boundaries. The biggest change (still a pleasant surprise) is that my emotions and food seem to have separated significantly in my head. Early days but something I hadn't expected for perhaps years yet.x

It sounds like a good approach to expect it to take time. having no end date in mind helped me a lot too.

I don't know if it is enough food or not. Sleep could tell you though. I have no grasp of that element yet, waiting for help from EDS to relearn how to eat. All I do now is try to keep a balance of foods i need (but don't have anything off limits) and make sure I eat regularly. For me I have to snack, I've always been that way, more of little and often. It's funny how our bodies can have different needs to work well.x

Eds?

It is funny how our bodies are meant to be machines, apparently. Yet here we are.

I can't sleep, want to eat and eat...

Cassie - Just a really quick post, obviously your diet is quite low carb, from my own, limited experience, I found when I was eating very low carb I couldn't sleep. I now find I need carbs before bed - when I reintroduced carbs before bed my sleep improved no end! That's just me. I have read others have had improved sleep with low carb so I could be wrong... There are some studies showing a high carb snack before bed can help sleep though (I researched insomnia is no fun!).

In terms of kcal, as you know it it would depend how tall you are, how much you weigh, how much energy you are expending - how much peanut butter you put on the toast, how big the sausages were etc.

I hope you don't mind me butting in. I just wanted to share my experience as maybe it could help you too. xx

ps sleep - thank you, that was a great way of looking at it, treating myself as I would my dc! thank you :-)

Cassie ED is Eating Disorder.x

Hope everyone's day has got off to a good start.x

It wAs the S that confused me

Yes it is quite low carb, I never thought of that. The breakfast is my carb fix I suppose but I do have lots of veg. I had a cuppa soup today as I forgot my protein shaker. I did feel fuller after. I think carbs keep me going but they say it's protein that fills you...

Carrie tbh it was the lack of fat that jumped out at me more than anything. Lack of that has all kinds of horrible side effects, including a sense of deprivation and lack of satiety . What was in your salad and did you have dressing on it?

It was just from a bag of salad from Lidl. It had lettuce, grated carrots, something purple but doesn't look or taste like an onion.

I have to say today was so much better than Monday or Tuesday. I didn't feel the same weak/unable to think feeling. I did have lunch earlier but it was so much easier to not eat more than I needed. I feel like I've taken a big step today.

I need to google chicken recipes. DP has cooked for me for three days (Tuesday I'm at work til 7.30 and tonight he'd put it in before I got home at 5ish so not really sure how I could have cooked) and he's already pissdd off about it.

Cassie, well done to sticking to your plan! i do not count calories anymore, so I cannot go there and do it for you, I have forbidden myself to do any calorie calculations and after some years I start forgetting how much everyhting is!
On the other hand, since you try to eat healthy, in addition to sticking to normal quantities/meal times, I am not sure about sausages and protein shake. The first is certainly many calories for small quantity, so you will have that hungry feeling creeping in. If you were just chasing the three meal goal, it would not matter, but I see you want to have these meals nutritious and not too calorie-packed. The latter - protein shake - fails the suggestion that we should only accept as food the stuff our great-grandmothers would have recognised as food if they have seen it. I find it very useful gauge on whether to touch something or not. Of course, if it is sth you really like, then go for it, I think no restrictions are more important to beat BED than eating 100% healthy. But since you say you want it healthy, too, maybe some fruit would be useful? Might help also with the carb issue, fruit is carb but low calorie, if indeed the hunger/sleeplessness are a link for you as someone suggested.
Anyway, it is not meant as criticism, I just looked the quantities you eat and I would be seriously biting my nose off from being empty on your menu. Which would then mean I would binge thereafter. But maybe you have not eaten yourself as silly as I had and keep happy with these quantities. Good luck!

I,have a terrible cold so a normal person would probably go off food. Nothing kills my appetite! Nothing! Not even absolutely not feeling the taste of things!
But I have not overeaten, I still had to work and am too weak to drag myself to kitchen. Which is another sign the food is losing its power. Kept to my three meals, and no snacks here too. Feeling virtuous, which normally ends with finding some half a kilo of chocoloate in the house and polishing it off. I feel it coming, as soon as I get better, have to eat more tomorrow before the too little turns again into binge.

Fighting, well done for feeling tou are turning the corner! It must be better behind that corner!

I know that feeling too Jass. I've never gone so long binge free. It's great to not feel guilty. I don't think it's possible to constantly eat less. Your body will cave at some point. I thought today would be my day.

Until this week, I always started the day off well and as soon as I got hungry I just thought, sod it. I'll start again tomorrow. It's funny not the right word but not sure what is what you can get your brain to think.

Yes I just had sausages as they were there. Prob double the cals of chicken but I'm ok with that. Trying to alternate the meat.

I like what you are saying about what our grandparents ate/would recognise. A lot of my friends to caveman training. I'm not sure of the exercises but I know the eating is 'if cavemen didn't eat it, you shouldn't'. Its a good philosophy.

I've been tired all day so said I'd get an early night... I'm now the most awake I've been all day.