Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

true Margo. I'm hiding from the DC for a bit .

since we are in this last 50 posts for this thread, does anyone have anything they want putting in the OP for thread 3?

So far I think we have talked about adding in Fairburn as a lot of us follow that programme and it is used by the ED services too. Obviously a link to thread 1 & 2. Pretty awesome that we are onto another one, lots of warm feelings thinking about that and how long we have been supporting each other. Long may it continue.

I am happy to write the OP again if everyone is ok with that? let me know what you think will be good to see in it. Those that are newer, what would appeal or make us easier to approach from your perspective?
x

I am very happy you are ready to write an intro to new thread, Fighting, pls go ahead!

I have also tricky relationship with my mum, She never bothered too much with bringing me and my brother up, it was all about her and her shitty life, never about us. But I have in my forties first realised it was as it was (previously did not analyse her parenting, but somehow started in my own middle age) and then accepted and decided to hell w it. Zpositive is She seldom calls me at all, and if i call seems hapoy but not so interested. Not clingy, and easy to forget. When we are together She never judges or anything, seldom risks to ve critical and never argues if I am critical of her ( She tends to be overinfluenced by chinese medcine and does weird orthorectic things like never eats gluten, anything red stc.). Maybe it is because of her I find it so diff to accept even kedocslly necessary resreictions to my menuz.

zhanks for all the encouragement on going sugar/gluten free. i am gearing up to do so but meanwhile overeating on white bread stuff, knowing it will be soon gone from my menu. I am celarly acting "diet" mindset - bingeing on the food I know will be rsteicted soon. I am not happy about it, but trying to observe and hopefully arrive where i need to be....

Difficult few days here - not quite sure why except maybe being on hols and having DH and DC around all the time is more draining than fun?! We are off to France today for a week to stay with DH's family. I always gain weight over there as we are stuffed with food from all sides. Hate the fact that I am thus made to spend a week in binge mode (if the food's offered, I find it very, very hard to say no), and am unable to restrict due to being a guest in someone's house.
I know full well that weight-gain is not inevitable (French women don't get fat etc) but I have just lost that gauge of what is a 'normal' meal, a 'normal' portion. Whatever I eat, whenever I eat it, I gain weight. There must be a way to eat normal food and not gain, right?! I am not a fan of MFP having tried to use it in the past and found it made me make stupid calorie calculations (who knew a kit-kat had fewer calories than a banana with natural yogurt and sunflower/pumpkin seeds?! Who knew peanut butter was the devil's food?!) so I just don't know how to have 3 normal meals a day. All I would like to do is maintain weight, for this week at least. But HOW?! At the moment I feel like all I have to do is look at food to gain. Yesterday I had a green juice for breakfast, with a small slice of toast and peanut butter. For lunch, cucumber, carrot and mange-tout with houmous, a tuna sandwich (it was a picnic), 2 go-ahead biscuits and an apple. For dinner, a bowl of homemade veg soup with bread and cheese, a bowl of salad with sliced turkey, then homemade lemon and raisin muffins with custard. This morning's weigh-in: 3lbs up on yesterday!!! I know I had a dessert after dinner, which was giving in to temptation as it was a stupid decision to bake but wanted to finish up ingredients in the fridge before going on holiday. But surely it wasn't a 3lb gain day?! Anyway, I am utterly unable to make sensible decisions at the moment about food. I know in my head if I eat 3 reasonable meals a day I shouldn't gain that much but I cannot put it into practice. My rhythm has just become restricting to undo the work of a bad day.
I saw a doc at ED service this week after GP finally referred me. She listened to everything I said, then concluded I was not depressed, nor clinically anxious, and didn't really have an eating disorder either as BMI has always been normal and laxative use obviously doesn't fit definition of abuse. She was really nice and I didn't feel patronised but I left thinking - if I'm not clinically anxious then god help those who are!! Leaving I felt a little bit more positive about my body so allowed myself to go into a bakery as have been craving hot cross buns all Easter and not had one. Bought a pack of 4, opened it, took one tiny sliver, ate it, felt like I couldn't control not eating all of them and binned it. I feel like an utter freak walking around in the body of a fairly normal-looking person. Yesterday I was packing for France - it's really warm over there now - none of my summer clothes fit any more so I had to dig out my fat jeans from a few years ago, which are snug now. Feel utterly wretched today. Cannot face the decisions around food that today will bring.

Lou, that sounds really tough - re-training yourself to eat what your body needs is surprisingly hard when you've been eating in a disordered way for a while. It sounds like you're doing all the right things with regular meals. Would it help to introduce a couple of small snacks during the day so you're eating more frequently? How would that feel?

And is there any way you can avoid weighing yourself every day? Our weight naturally fluctuates on a daily basis so that 3lbs (most likely of water) will probably go away as easily as it went on. Once a week seems to be a sensible frequency, although I'm actually avoiding the scales altogether at the moment, as weigh-ins send me off on weird spirals too.

The other thing I'm working on is not restricting at all - the Fairburn process says you get back on track as soon as possible, which can be hard and sometimes I can't face breakfast if I've binged the night before. It's especially hard when you can see your weight going up. I'm also wearing a bigger size of jeans as of yesterday - I admitted defeat and got down an old box of clothes I'd neglected to get rid of post-DCs :(

I'm sure someone will be along to give advice but just wanted to let you know you're not alone. Do try to enjoy the break with family - hopefully once you're relaxed and enjoying yourself there'll be less focus on food, and with people around, you can take cues on portion size from them too? Bonne chance!

Lou, it definitely was not a 3lbs gain day from the food you ate! Hence the weight gain was meaningless, and indeed weighing every mprning is dangerous when you are trying to recover from BED. And indeed, with normal body weight and no visible health issues like we are doctors do not see where problem is. Often I believe physically there is no problem, but it does not make our problem less real or serious. Just we need to help ourselves, as medical profession will do nth for us.

For French week - try to enjoy the french food and wine and not to think about weight at all. Make it your goal for this week to be happy about noce stuff offered to you, and try to not tragically overeat, just try to stop before too full. But not before full, i.e. do not try to eat ridiculously small amounts! Eat until you really feel this comfortably full feeling, then stop. What I find good on hols is that leftovers do normally not stay with you, if they are in someone else's fridge. Eating at mealtimes whatever is on offer until you feel good should not take you over any calorie limits, with normal portions it is wuite tricky to gain weight, if you do only eat at mealtimes and do not endlessly snack. This is hard to believe, but this is true. Do not make any additional goals than just eat at mealtimes and enjoy it, and stop when you feel you start to feel a bit stuffed......

Hey,

Can I join? Will I wait for new thread?!

Join us now Gum, everyone is welcome. Maybe tell us a bit about you/your experiences with food? Or what you hope to get support on through the thread...?

Hi everyone, just ongoing unhealthy relationship with food. I am an alcoholic, sober for 6 years through AA but since stopping drinking food has taken over. Days of binging then fasting to try to balance it out. Very punitive and struggle to love my body or even respect it when it comes too food.

I know what foods trigger me and I can't eat sugar, white carbs or even fruit without binging but I struggle to get through the day sticking to that. Saying that I am now in bed (on holiday so an hour ahead!) and have had three meals today, no binging. I just hope tomorrow can be the same.
Any support would be much appreciated x

Welcome Gum

Hey Lou you've had some great advice from the others. The fact that a 3lb weight gain wouldn't be as a result of eating what really doesn't sound like a remarkable amount of food in one day bears repeating again. Weight fluctuates all the time due to so many different factors.

If you can't give up the scales completely then can you commit to using it less-no more than once a week perhaps? If that is too difficult then maybe start journalling (over a week) your feelings every time you weigh yourself. This might help clarify what weighing is doing for you... how the scales rarely have any kind of positive effect...this may then help you ditch them or at least wean yourself off? Are there going to be scales handy in France?

In France - try and enjoy the food and remember that (I'm assuming), whether salad or dessert, it will be good quality, prepared and served with love, so it will be great for your body in terms of nutrition. Try and match your eating pace to the slowest eater at the table and savour the textures and flavours. Think about how nourishing this kind of meal can be - not just in terms of the food but also the conversation, companionship and love involved. See how that goes. You could tell us here about how you are getting on?

Hi everyone, well I'm day 2 hoping for another binge free day.

Sleep your post really helped me, I know it was meant for Lou but something around enjoying company ect and focusing on the company rather then the food really resonated with me, what are you all up to today?

Welcome Gum, I'm glad you're finding the thread a good support.

I have had an up and down weekend but overall not too bad.

Day 2 binge free here. Is the thread quite quiet or was it something I said!!

Hi Gum! No, we're still here, and congratulations on another good day :)
Do you tend to binge earlier on in the day? And can you pinpoint anything that's been different about the last couple of days? Was there something specific that you did or felt that you might be able to repeat next time?

I've had a busy but good day so far - saw an old friend for lunch, went for a longish walk with the DCs, did some decluttering etc. Keeping active is sometimes the key for me not being fixated on food. Am going to try to go for a run in a bit as well as fit some work in. I like to get an earlyish night on Sundays so will see how I get on. Hope everyone's managed to enjoy the weather today? It's been glorious here!

Avoiding sugar is the only way I don't binge. So just sticking to salad, veg and meat has meant the urge to binge has been reduced but not sure how long I can do this for.

Do you guys try to follow a plan, does certain stuff trigger you!

Don't worry gum, weekends tend to be a bit quieter.

Some of us follow Dr Fairburn
http://www.amazon.co.uk/Overcoming-Binge-Eating-Second-Edition-ebook/dp/B00DG1H8V4 Overcoming Binge Eating second edition

It is a book in two parts, the first looks at different aspects if disordered eating and the second is a step by step plan to follow at your own pace. I personally found it life changing and would recommend you take a look.x

sorry link fail

Hello. Can I please join in too?
I need to stop eating all the time. Starting tomorrow. I have no one in RL to talk about it to. So it would be great if I could just share and learn from other people's experience.

Hi tea, I'm only day 2 binge free so new around too! Welcone

How do you do it... Just how... I either starve myself - I can seriously live on nothing or close to nothing for days, or eat and never stop.

Welcome tea. You may find it helpful to read through the two threads (the first is linked in the op) It gives you an idea of where we started and how we have progressed.

It does seem like a mountain to climb at first but it is possible. Small steps and getting to know ourselves is key .

Hello, thank you. This is my plan for tonight. I'm half way through the older thread. It is possible then, good to know

Welcome tea

Well done Gum - that is a great achievement. I know when I first started on this journey I struggled to imagine a no binge day, so I know how much it must mean to you.

I went to my CBT group on Fri. We talked about unhelpful thinking styles. They shared a version of this particularly accurate (well to me!) sheet - www.getselfhelp.co.uk/unhelpful.htm I can related to most of these :(

The weigh-in was ok actually. And I realised that everybody there was struggling with it. The group leaders talked again about why they do it - to help show a pattern over time, to help dispel myths etc - so I feel a bit better about it. We also talked about portions and looking at mine.

I have noticed I am being kinder to myself. I ordered the wrong printer last week, which means it doesn't do duplex which I wanted it to. I am hoping I can argue over the company's misleading website listing...but that is another story.

Instead of berating myself I just feel it is one of those things. I also acknowledged that I ordered it in a rush as I had little work time last week due to the school hols which I feel is a step forward too - self-empathy I guess?

Have had a nice weekend. Went to the Olympic Park twice. Once for swimming yesterday and then to go the park today. It was great and the DC enjoyed. DS & DD ran around together. He said "It is great having a little sister", which made me well up a bit!

Anyway, another thing they talked about at the group was having balanced approach to sleep/work-life balance etc will all help managing our emotions easier. So, on that note I am off to bed! Hope you all have a good week.

I am starting today. I'm planning on getting some fruit and yogurt for my breakfast.
One meal at a time. If I manage breakfast, I will not feel guilty at lunchtime and maybe I will manage a small healthy lunch too.

That sounds like a great plan tea.

Hope everyone has a good day. So far we have gone straight back into school morning routine for our first day back. Getting myself up early again was a bit hard.x