Binge Eating Disorder Support

[FightingBed2014]

This is our second thread, helping each other through the ups and downs we experience with binge eating. The original thread can be found here
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/new_blog_posts/2029166-Eating-Disorder-Recovery

This is open to anyone, no mater how good or bad things are for you. We are all here for support and help to recover from our disordered eating. Talking about how we feel has been the first step to recovery for us. There is hope and life without it.

I blog about my recovery as I go through each new experience, if you want to have a read it's here

ellechapmanblog.wordpress.com

You are doing really well Fighting - keep remembering the fake it to make it mantra . Also are you doing your photography and getting outside regularly? Come back the health cairn and consider what areas might be particularly out of balance at the moment? Can you think of how you might bring that area back a bit into line (sex, affection, a rant, time to yourself)? Don't be afraid to ask others for help with this - from us, your DH, your IL's - remember it's not solely your issue, it affects everyone and everyone can and should help address it .

Thanks sleep. I'm not doing my photography at the moment. in the last month or so it has been out the question as getting dressed and school run was all I could manage. Today is a 'work day' and I tried to plan going out to take pictures. I couldn't face it. I have a complete block on confidence with getting shots, which is daft. I'm trying not to punish myself and just try another time. I think I will go out with DF when I see him, he will help massively.

I have been getting out for simple things this week and feeling much better but I am trying regularly to remind myself about not expecting everything to be totally fine instantly (hard when you want to be doing things but can't).

My DH, DF & DSM have been amazingly supportive. I struggle with guilt that I'm not who I should to be for them (I give all my energy to DC so thay are ok). DH often has to cook our dinner as I can't cope with it. I know it's only me putting pressure on as not one of them is expecting anything from me, they want to help me to get better, nothing more. I need to focus on each day but my mind wanders to long term things like getting well enough for full time work when DC2 starts school, being better and doing all the jobs a SHM should do instead of poor DH who works FT. I have spoken to DH and he was great simply said if im not well enough then I won't work. I just don't know why I can't accept that and relax.

The thread and MN is helping massively. Helping others helps me too.x

forgot to say, (in my novel there) that health wise I haven't been well. We have been on an illness train since Jan, thankfully DC are ok now.

I can see with this and my previous post I am just expecting too much of myself. If this were someone else's post I would be willing them to slow down the expectations and say give yourself time to recover....I will work on that. A positive is that while driving home mulling things over I was thinking I don't want or ned to binge, best I get writing to help myself. Its another notch on the progress chart & I'm still not over eating this week.x

That's brilliant Fighting - really. Perhaps it would help to take some supplements - they don't just help with building you back up after illness, the act of taking them to take care of yourself is a positive one (and so reinforces the fact that you are valuing yourself) too. Do you take anything at the moment?

Oh fighting. Try to focus on the short term. You taught me to try to live for now not for the future, the work situ is a bit similar? DS2 going to school is a way off, anything could change between now and then...You might win the lottery.

You have done so well to-date. Try not to be too hard on yourself. The house work can wait. And never forget you have helped so many of us on here (along with sleep).

Great you are riding out the binges (if that is how you see it). I have managed that too since Fri, feels like a massive step forward.

I also shared with a friend that I am going to the CBT group and she confided her DH has similar issues so I suggested the Fairburn book. It felt good to talk about it.

Big hugs fighting.

Hello Little and Grateful

Sorry to hear you suffer too.

Have you read the Dr Fairburn book on overeating? A few of us on here are following it. It gives good background into BED/binging and a practical programme to follow. I personally have found it very good.

Sorry, I meant to welcome little and grateful too. Tell us some more about your situations

Thanks sleep & Margo, you encouragement means a lot. I know it's a dip and I will get back to where I was eventually. Just need to keep up the mantras. The reminder of my own advice is good margo.

I don't take supplements regularly but I think that has to do with the habit of not looking after myself properly. You are right taking them does reinforce the positive mind set. I'm aware I have said on here before I will take them but it never lasts, perhaps I need to make it part of my daily meds routine.

How is everyone else doing with this week?

Margo, well done on the confiding! So glad it revealed your not alone in your social circle. I hope it creates long term RL support and confidence to be you.x

I hope today is a good day for you all & you have things to look forward to this wknd. If not then remember we're always here if you need to talk.

Hi Fighting, just popping in to give you a reading suggestion for all you are dealing with at the moment. Check out Pema Chodron When Things Fall Apart. I think you might find it comforting and inspiring

Thank you. I will take a look.

i am sorry to be a vit missing, I have just found out I have lost my baby at 9w3d, its heart seems ro have just sropped suddenly. I will be back soon if I feel like I can deal with BED again. Right now it feels a non-issue frankly.mI have started to,look pg so now need of course to get rid of that look, hopefully spring, sunshine and fresh air will help and I will be able not to restrict food.

I hope Fighting you keep writing to help you. I find writing very therapic as well,just do not dare to do it, as it makes this BED thing so real. I am OK writing here but do not want a journal somewhere in my house about it.....

Jass I'm so sorry . If journalling helps you then maybe write as much as you like but then destroy the paper?

Take good care of yourself

I'm so sorry you are going through this jassS. My thoughts are with you and your family. We will be here when ever you feel ready to return.

So sorry for your loss Jass. Take care of yourself.

Have had my miscarriage management and feel much better, as if together with the procedure some mental pain hasalso been erased. Looking hopefully into future, as this baby made it to the heartbeat and none of my previous mc did.
So back now to also keeping my eating healthy and worry-free. on positive, I do not feel the urge to restrict. I am allowing myself to eat proper meals and if there is something extraordinarily good in the fridge I accept any normal person would overdo it. But I also realise normal persons would stop before they feel relatively sick from overdoing it, which I still can not manage.

Obviously I am still off sports, resting after eprc, so plan is next week still to take it easy and during easter break get gently back into some running, starting from 2-3 km and building up. But not to excessive amounts again!

Will now read back properly, as I have missed you all for some time. Actually feel like the whole life was on hold since I started spotting at week 8......

Hi to newcomers! I used the approach of telling myself "I will never diet again, even if I massively binge today" to first arrive at the exit from binge-bust cycle. Eat all youwant in the beginning and promise you can do the same tomorrow etc. If you keep to that promise tou realise you start stopping sooner and sooner, sometimes, not always. Because you gradually start believeing yourself that the diet days are over. And if there will be no diet days, you do not need to binge before you diet. I learned this from overcoming overeating book.

Have patience! I think it took me about a month before I started to relax. Then the binges got rarer and sometimes I did not eat past full because I knew I will feel uncomfortable and also I knew I can eat tomorrow.

Of course, I still binge sometimes, but I have started to remind myself that normal people also overeat sometimes, not only BED people. They just do not think it is an issue. So I try also not to think it is an issue.

Best result? Well,while I added with yo-to diet-binge cycles during 20 years considerable amount of weight, I am stable since I managed to stop dieting. Even with some overeating I am relatively stable! OK, with my lost pg I now gained 3 kilos, but I almost made it through first trimester, so that was to be expected! Now comes an intersting experiment to see whether I manage to restabilise my weight to pre-pg level without diet. Because I will not diet. I refuse! I am still in normal weight range (upper end of course) even this plus three and all, that is my mantra - so, no dieting has to continue!!!!!! No discussion like "I need to lose it before I try again". Forbidden, strictly....

So sorry to read this jass, I lost a baby at about the same gestation, all appeared to be going well and then suddenly no heartbeat. It was 13 years ago but you always wonder why.

Thanks for the welcome, I have had BED probably most of my life. It's obviously been worse as an adult as I now have free reign. I am a yo yo dieter and I know that has to stop, I lose and regain around three stones each time and end up back at 17 stones. I am pretty desperate at the moment.

I read the Fairburn book a few years ago but struggle to adopt the principles of it. I strongly suspect I have ADHD and autism (like DS) and am waiting for a psychiatric appointment to discuss that. I will probably bring up the BED at the same time.

Crisps are my trigger food and I shouldn't allow them in the house. I will also buy binge foods most days and have a binge followed by the regret and self loathing that come afterwards.

I really liked the post further back where the poster said what BED gave her. I think that's about acceptance isn't it? It gives me a way to cope with my feelings about loss of control in the house and my life (chaotic). Ironically I express it with a loss of control around food.

I also experienced sexual abuse as a child and I struggle with relationships. A therapist once suggested that I have replaced relationships with food and I suspect she was onto something there.

Anyway, it is good to talk to fellow sufferers and to know I am not alone out there.

Hi grateful, it's a hard journey but I'm glad you feel like your not alone now.

How is everyone else doing?

I feel a bit more positive today and even managed to cook dinner last night. Small steps and all that.x

I had an idea recently for helping with seeing our positives and achievements using a visual aid. I know some of you are like me and find seeing things physically helps.Its explained here, let me know what you think:

building the positives

Fighting, good to hear you feel better snd thanks for the links.

Grateful, I think keeping chips out of the house is possible, if you really are lucky to only have one trigger. On the other hand, zi think when binge hits you, and chips are not around, something else will trigger it anyway. uou could test this theory out, but my feeling is binges happen not for only some foods, but for some feelings inside us. And then they find the way to come out, as I have said before, you see it coming on like a truck and you can not move ou tof its way. Its best to accept it snd tey to reduce their seduction gradually by agreeing to never restrict.

Thanks for sharing Grateful. So sorry to hear about the abuse you suffered.

I was advised to start with self-acceptance. Have you tried that? I wonder too like Jass about removing the triggers...It is so difficult though.

Fighting glad to hear you are feeling better. Like the blog. I might try to draw a picture of my good qualities.

Jass how you feeling?

Struggling a bit here with anxiety around work. However, I have managed not to binge. I kinda feel that I need to feel the uncomfortable feelings to deal with them. We shall see, I also wonder how long this can last!

I made the mistake of checking out some full-length pics that were taken when I was mid-presentation. They were not nice! Trying to banish the diet/must get thinner feelings.

Went out for a run at lunchtime which felt like a good distraction from the stream of anxiety.

Things are easier with DS, so I am pleased about that.

Had a nice weekend away at a spa. I felt relaxed around the food, so that is a positive.

Thinking of you all. xx

jassS I agree, as scary as the thought is at first, removing the hold a binge has over us is the best way to kick it for good. It takes a lot of time to get to that stage which is daunting at first.

I weighed this morning and after 15 months of not restricting my body is starting to regulate its self again. I am very slowly losing weight and that can only be down to giving my body time to realise no starvation period is coming. I eat what I want and because nothing is off limits the draw off eating out and piles of food in the evening has well and truly lost its power over me. My choices are often what I need for energy and nutrition because I feel like it rather than forcing myself to be ultra healthy. My handbag looks like it was attacked by Naked bars wrappers inside lately. x