Sleep, thanks fo rkind words. I am now facing another hurdle - my doc thinks my immune therapy to avoid mc might work better if i gave up sugar and gluten, and even fruit in first trimester in case i fall pg. I hope I can do it while retaining no restrictions mentality, i.e. eat as much as I want, even if I can not eat all I want. Luckily I have not my cycle back yet, so can wean from sugar and wheat over a couple of weeks, not give up at once. This is going to be tricky, as restrictions always mean a binge. shall see how things go.
Running, unfortunately I think you need to give up on restricting, seriously. We all know this feeling that we cannot give in to triggers, as they will only lead to binge which then will lead back to resteictions. Trouble is, you really need to go off restrictions to get off binge/diet cycle. The only way to better relations with food goes through removing restrictions, which I admit is scary thing to do. Take your time to prepare for the plunge, do not do it before you are ready, all we can do is tell that without restrictions, even if weight fluctuates short term, long term there is not much of a gain from removing restrictions. true, there is not much loss neither, but stability is all you need - being at normal weight, as I understood. I am like you - was really afraid of letting go, but finally realised I have dietd myself from low normal to high normal weight over 20 years, so diets are not an answer to my prob. Every diet ends in binge. it is absolutely sure. And then weight gets regained and the yo-yo continues slowly upwards. I also have overexercised a lot to compensate fo rmy binges, am trying to limit that as well. Am down from running 40-60 km per week to never exceeding 35. Limiting long distance to half marathon, never training for marathon anymore. And also making sure I do not run more than two half marathons in one season. I feel I need to kill this obsessive behaviour as well, even if still want to keep running. Also, am varying with roller skates/bike as well, which I previously did not do as running kills more calories per hour of workout. Am trying to make sport a wellbeing thing,not a weight loss tool.
Margo, sorry for the reaction to added weight. I giess tou have two options - learn to accept the weight gain weeks as well or give up on this place where you need to weigh in. Maybe ask them if they would accept you without weighings, if you explain weighing in triggers always a resteiction-later binge cycle in you? Even if that is not true, it might be a good excuse? If tou ptherwise like the group meets, maybe it is a solution?