Rights of OW. Not married to my father. My parents not divorced.

[IdoHaveAName]

Last year, my grandmother died leaving her house to my father. He already owns the farm as his father signed it over to him before he died.

I had reason to need to stay at my grandmother's house last year for a few weeks. My father was happy with this.

Anyway, I invited my own mother to visit me and the OW (who has been with my father 20 years) went apeshit.

Anyway, facebook was involved later that day. Consequently OW drove out to the farm/house to tell me with outstretched arms that 'I OWN ALL THIS'.

I told her that she was as thick as shit and my father is still married to my mother. She owns nothing.

My parents are legally separated but not divorced. Am I correct in thinking OW owns nothing but the shit on her boots?

Look, you're freaking out about nothing.

There's no way a man that tight would instigate a divorce. They cost about 10 grand, last I heard. Solicitors fees are insane. I'm only getting conveyancing done to sell the house and the fucking fees are going to cost thousands and thousands.

So a divorce ain't gonna happen.

But she might get something. You say she's been declaring Lone Parents. Not after 20 years she's not! So she could well be declaring living with him now. And life is long and she's got years left. Don't be naive and assume just because she kept herself seperate to get the Lone Parents that she's better off keeping that status. Unlikely, considering the recent change in law about protecting co-habitees.

She'll be entitled to something in the end I'd say. But that doesn't mean it nullifies what your mother would be entitled to as I imagine Spouse still trumps Co-habitee in Irish Inheritance Law.

When she was roaring I OWN ALL OF THIS she was presumably referring to the provision in Law for protection of co-habitees. But she is naive. Cos it doesn't give anyone ALL OF THIS. It just may give you a small slice of the pie.

I think she's so defensive because she knows that her position is so tenuous. My uncle's second wife is the same (would never call her auntie). She was a bar maid with a daughter and a single parent and went after him because he had money. He was just as bad because he knew that he had a wife and two kids. What she didn't need to do is write his wife spiteful letters about the things they did with each other and how he was hers now. My stupid uncle got led around by his cock. His wife left him and found another, better relationship and he barely ever saw his children again.

And the OW has spent forty years guarding against his ex-wife and family. She is so jealous that he has to sneak off to see his grandchildren. And that comes from a place of insecurity. Because she knows that he never would have left his wife if she hadn't left him. And she also knows that my uncle would, even now, go back to his ex-wife in a heartbeat.

But she's made her bed and he his. It is pretty sad. I bet this woman has the same issues. She can't ever be 'safe' or secure because their relationship started with lies and deceit.

Lol - very John B Keane indeed.
Vulval - no contact since the event until I nearly died then weekly contact during the day while she wouldn't have been there and now no contact since he wouldn't answer the phone to me in an emergency in the evening time (while she would have been there so he wouldn't be able to answer the phone).
Yes, my brother is very much keeping on side. Goes there twice a year and helps with fencing or something haha.
I know for a fact she doesn't declare living with him. My father has always declared that he lives on the farm. She draws the dole. She wouldn't be entitled to dole if she declared living with him as income too high.
They're a right pair.

Bluntness - she wasn't 18 - she was 38 when they initially got together. I was 18 at the time.

To be honest, it wouldn't have bothered me if she got anything out of it until she declared I OWN ALL THIS.

Ah, ok sorry, I misunderstood your post, I thought she was a year older..

When she was roaring I OWN ALL OF THIS she was presumably referring to the provision in Law for protection of co-habitees

I think people may be over-estimating this new law. You have to apply to the court for redress, and it's far from certain she'd get anything at all.

And that would be difficult for her to prove abigcupoffuckyou as she has never declared cohabiting. *Fist bump!

The people telling OP to get over it seem to be glossing over OW having a roaring fit because OP had the temerity to invite her own mother to visit her in her own grandmother's house. Funny how so many OWs madly resent the wronged spouse. Must be the guilt.

I also want to go out for a drink with the OP

OP
I feel for you.
But I don't use the word c*nt.
I don't like it.
If it were me Id report her to social welfare for claiming to be a single mother if she is living with your father.
My taxes are paying her good money
Find out from a solicitor what the story is re your Mother and the inheritance.

Is a farm in Mayo really worth that much?

The farm isn't in Mayo. My father is originally from Mayo. At a guess house and farm worth near to a million.

I'd be delighted to go for a drink with you lot. I shall walk into the bar and declare I OWN ALL THIS!

Get a round in then

Holly, it is financial abuse imo, leaving her on benefits. She wouldnt be on benefits if they lived together and had joint accounts

If you don't like the word cunt then don't use it, but don't tell others what they can do.
If it's been 20 years it's unlikely she has any active claims with welfare, so not much to report now.

Hang on. Your dad has assets worth a million, but won't divorce the woman he left twenty years ago because of solicitors fees?

And he doesn't have a will because he thinks he won't die?

Is he spectacularly naive? Does he have a solicitor at all?

You're in England, you say? Drinks where???

I am not an OW never have been but this woman has been on lone parent allowance because her partner was / is mean. Doesnt mean she's not delusional and aggressive but my God I feel a bit sorry for her. I wasted 8 years as a co-habitee (not on benefits til I left him and he didnt leave a marriage to be with me but I recognise that he has backed her in to a corner by being financially abusive and mean).

She should start her own thread!

Did he leave her on benefits or did she simply want to continue getting free money off the state, while enjoying the benefits of her boyfriend's property.
Having her cake and eating it, springs to mind.
I don't see how she could claim a 20 year cohabiting relationship without also declaring herself to have been a benefits cheat.

Who wants to be on benefits if they feel secure though. It is uncertainty and insecurity that leads to this type of fraud. I do hate when couples claim one parent family allowance for their joint pot though. Most opf recipients who claim somewhat fraudulently arent in a relationship with a man with assets of a million euro.

Your dad has assets worth a million, but won't divorce the woman he left twenty years ago because of solicitors fees?

Assets doesn't mean you have much in the way of actual money.

And he doesn't have a will because he thinks he won't die?

OP has said that this was a joke and she is certain he has a will.

ut this woman has been on lone parent allowance because her partner was / is mean

You're projecting here. She hasn't been on loan parents for many years, obviously, you have no idea if she is claiming anything now, and you have no idea what money they share. For all you know he could be keeping her in the lap of luxury.

I get why you are irritated, but this person isn't the OW. Your DF isn't still in a relationship with your DM, he is in a relationship with her, so she is either your step-mother or your father's DP.

I feel a bit sorry for her, actually, as you are right that she has no legal protection in terms of her position. But she has clearly been your father's partner for a very, very long time -- decades.

In other countries (for example Canada) this would make her your father's common-law wife and she would have legal protection, which I think is completely appropriate. However this is not the case in the UK.