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Original poster

Rights of OW. Not married to my father. My parents not divorced.

266 replies

IdoHaveAName · 03/08/2017 17:12

Last year, my grandmother died leaving her house to my father. He already owns the farm as his father signed it over to him before he died.

I had reason to need to stay at my grandmother's house last year for a few weeks. My father was happy with this.

Anyway, I invited my own mother to visit me and the OW (who has been with my father 20 years) went apeshit.

Anyway, facebook was involved later that day. Consequently OW drove out to the farm/house to tell me with outstretched arms that 'I OWN ALL THIS'.

I told her that she was as thick as shit and my father is still married to my mother. She owns nothing.

My parents are legally separated but not divorced. Am I correct in thinking OW owns nothing but the shit on her boots?

OP posts:
abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 13:09

What has the UK got to do with anything?

AvoidingCallenetics · 04/08/2017 13:13

I don't agree with the notion of common law spouse. If you want the rights and benefits of marriage then get married. Marriage is a deliberate decision to bestow legal protection/inheritance rights on another person. Cohabiting means you just fall into it, rather than actively choosing.

hollyisalovelyname · 04/08/2017 13:16

OP is your father and partner in UK or Ireland ?
Different laws, different jurisdictions, different countries.
Has your father's partner been living with him yet claiming single mother's allowance?
If so, I'd shop her to Revenue.
I have no time for anybody involved in adultery. I'm old fashioned.

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 13:18

Seriously, what bit of not claiming lone parents allowance are you not getting? How would she have a child under 7 with someone else when she's nearly 60 and has been with OP's dad for over 20 ?

NotMyPenguin · 04/08/2017 13:21

Oops, sorry -- just saw this under Active Threads and didn't spot that it was on Craicnet.

St01c · 04/08/2017 13:29

Not sure if that's directed at me or not but the point is surely if she's still in receipt of any sort of social welfare payment at all then her long term partner is not exactly there for her. But that's her own thread. Maybe it's on rollercoaster.

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 13:31

You don't know that she is on anything, so why assume and then start slagging off the partner? Talk about a leap!

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 13:38

My father has a solicitor and is extremely shrewd. I suspect that's why he hasn't married her.
She claimed lone parents until her youngest turned 18. Then she did a course, then was on the dole and during the few weeks I was actually back in Ireland, she started work. I suspected she commenced work at this stage as she intended moving into my grandmother's house with my father, so wouldn't have been able to claim dole.
To those asking, they are in Ireland - different laws. Hence craicnet..

OP posts:
St01c · 04/08/2017 13:43

I can imagine the pressure put on her. If she decides to divorce him now she can say that she tolerated being legally separated as there was pressure on her not to go ahead with the finality of a divorce, but being screamed at by OW when a guest of her daughter's, well, she thought, time for divorce now. His solicitors will paint her as a gold digger out to get her share before he dies but if they do, just lean towards the judge and say ''yes, if shares in the marital home are being squabbled over by three parties then I have to speak up, yes.@

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 13:43

I did report them to social welfare fraud. My father hasn't mentioned it since my near death experience so I've no idea whether they were investigated.
My father is very tight with money. As a previous poster said, he wouldn't be that flush with cash, but the assets are worth a lot. He likes to play the poor mouth. For e.g. he wouldn't fund any of us through college.

My father always claimed my mother was a divil for spending his money so I suspect that's why OW always had her own money (fraudulently). So he wouldn't tar her with the same brush.
If anyone ever watched The Field, you'll see my father in one of the characters right there pmsl.

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 13:47

Basically she has now been with him longer than he was married to my mother. My mother reared three children for him though.

That bitch has done nothing for any of us. She can rot on the dole as far as I'm concerned.

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 13:52

I also think that a pp was correct in her analysis that the cost of a divorce would have put him off.
When I told my mother about the argument etc., and she was expecting divorce papers, she chuckled that 'good - I might get another few quid out of the tight bastard'.
As you can tell, they're on very good terms lol.

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 13:54

As I said I don't know why he never divorced her but I do know he has pretty much semi-annual appointments with his solicitor (farm stuff mainly, but I'm sure he discusses the ins and outs of his marital and extra-marital affairs).

OP posts:
MrsWobble3 · 04/08/2017 13:57

I know your father is not in the uk so this might not be relevant but in case it is: the father of one of my friends left his wife and had a gf. He died suddenly and the gf moved into his house before the body had left hospital and then claimed to be financially dependent. To avoid a long and expensive legal dispute my friend paid her to leave - on the advice of solicitors. So she may have no legal rights but don't assume that means she gets/expects nothing.

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 14:00

MrsWobble - she expects she owns the lot haha!

OP posts:
StormTreader · 04/08/2017 14:02

Umm, you were 18 when he left? So, you were an adult then?
I thought from all the "she took a married man with a child" that he left your mum looking after a little child on her own, not a grown woman.

How long was he supposed to stay in a relationship he no longer wanted to be in? Forever?

hollyisalovelyname · 04/08/2017 14:02

Who runs the farm?

abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 14:05

I thought from all the "she took a married man with a child" that he left your mum looking after a little child on her own, not a grown woman

OP has a younger sibling.

How long was he supposed to stay in a relationship he no longer wanted to be in? Forever?

Who said anyone has to stay? They generally should leave before they start fucking someone else though.

chips4teaplease · 04/08/2017 14:05

He's a Mayo man and a bit astute with money
That made me smile!

OP, put aside your anger for a while and get your mum to take proper legal advice.

Then, when it's sorted, get yourself some counselling. You are probably justified in every word you've written, but you'd feel better if it didn't make you so angry.

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 14:07

abigcupoffuckyou - you're correct on all counts - both last and previous posts.
I was a very naïve 18 year old who adored my Dad.
My younger sister was 12.

He could have left any time he wanted. He left when us elder two turned 18 to avoid maintenance I suspect.
My father owns and runs the farm.

OP posts:
abigcupoffuckyou · 04/08/2017 14:09

I know plenty of Mayo farmers, OP Wink

Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 14:10

I'm not actually angry! I hate that woman and I would be seriously angry if she got her grubby mitts on any bit of the farm, but I'm mainly curious. Honestly, I rarely give this a minute's thought, it was just a film I watched yesterday reminded me of her!

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 14:11

God help you abigcupoffuckyou! LOL

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 14:13

I suppose I still see her as an intruder into our family though. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes I know, I know, my father was as bad as her, but she plonked herself right and centre in my bloody family and broke us apart.

OP posts:
Original poster
IdoHaveAName · 04/08/2017 14:22

On a positive note, I think my father has an other other woman as when I was back in Ireland his phone kept ringing one day (repeatedly) and he kept hanging up. ;)

For all you wronged women - yup - they keep on keeping on...

This is the man who would never not answer his phone (unless from me when yer wan is there). And if it was one of his farmer friends they wouldn't have kept ringing repeatedly. So yeah, he has another woman.

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