21, on apprenticeship. Mum wants half my wage each week.

[Helloworld469]

So im a 21 years old female, i get apprenticeship wage (dog grooming) 5 days a week which is not much. I clean up in the house, i wash everyones clothes, i cook for everyone when mum says she wont which is often. I HAVE to make everyones breakfast before work ( have to be in work for 8:50am.) I come home to cook my brothers teas and feed the pets take them out and do most things. My mum says i do not do nothing. I dont help with cost for food or anything even tho my half i do mostly spend on my brothers and not me. I give my mum 100 each week and i get 100. My mum says i should be paying her more so i should only get round 50 pound towards myself. Is this right or should i pay her more? I dont go out either and i dont socialise so im asking for advice.

Tell your mother to buzz off. You're doing more than enough.

Well done on the apprenticeship. It's a really rewarding job!!

When I started work (many years ago) I received £500 a month. I gave my mum £100; so 20% of my take home pay. I had to pay for travel from my 80%.

You are paying 50% and doing a lot of chores.

I don’t think you should be paying more.

And what are you buying for your brothers out of your share?

Spare room has this on average rents by region.

m.spareroom.co.uk/content/info-landlords/average-rent-uk/

The cheapest region is north east 544 per month. That wouldn't include bills etc.

If you earn 800 a month (you say 200 a week) then that would leave you with 256 pounds a month for bills and food.

For what it's worth I think your mum is expecting too much of you especially in terms of parenting the other two, but if you move out you'll be a lot worse off unless you can get a second job or are eligible for benefits.

Wow, I feel really sorry for you my love. I have a 21 year old son and he’s got the life of Riley. He doesn’t have to lift a finger and I still buy his toiletries ( and more ) out of the £200 per month he gives me which is only a small amount compared to what he gets. Your mum is taking total advantage of you.

my son is off on a lads holiday tomorrow and I’ve still bought him new clothes, trainers and all of his toiletries and sun cream etc and I’m not well off, we do what we can to help even if you’re over 18 or whatever, that’s normal to me.

If what you are saying Is accurate then you earn your keep already

It doesn't sound like your mum wants to support a grown woman when she is on benefits herself.

Time to stand on your own feet, get a proper job and out from under her feet.
She's told you she wants you to move out believe her, she's making sure you don't get too comfortable.
This is the second thread tonight about grown adult women living at home when it's time to move out.

I'd definitely do what another poster suggested and speak to your college cos they do often have grants and hardship funds that could help you, and not to give to your mum, but to maybe help you find a houseshare or even so you can put a little away each week for when you can leave.
If your social worker is nice, she could always contact the different funds for you. There's a website I used to use when I worked in social housing, that listed some different funds and grants, some quite obscure ones too. Could be something in that. I'll see if I can find it and post the link.

Treats and stuff. Taking them out to cinima and stuff like that we do t normally do

She is looking stuff up, by coming onto this forum and getting info from us.

If you've ever come from a household where you're neglected, you literally don't know what questions to ask to get to the right answer

I'm amazed that there is a dog grooming apprenticeship - but apparently there is.

When will you earn more money?

What ? This is not right

Once she's qualified she will have herself a decent wage! There's money to be made in grooming.

Just for comparison.. ds is 18 nearly and works for minimum wage, he’s agreed to pay me 20% of his income as a contribution towards bills / food. He also cooks some nights if I have a shift and he doesn’t. So I definitely think your mum is asking way too much of you.

She can't force you to give more - she can only make you leave.

You can point out that if you weren't there she would have less money.

If you are able to save money at all, make sure that it's safely in a bank account...and that your mum can't find your debit card.

I did >.< and she went ballistic at me. So i cant really speak up.

@spiceandallnice Have you been living under a rock of late and seen there is a housing crisis ? Not only that but the ridiculous cost of even a small property in some areas? Makes me die on here. People are so judgemental. There are huge numbers of adults living at home for a reason, they can't all be lazy and socially inept.

It’s nice that you are treating your brothers, but try not to spend too much on them. My son is 20, he has a part time job and goes to college. He does sometimes treat his sisters,

Perhaps try Saturday morning kids club for the cinema (if your cinema does this) as it is usually cheaper.

So she loses £80 child benefit so you have to pay £400

Making breakfast, cleaning the house etc isn't your job. I would say move out ASAP, you could live with a shared house while you save up a deposit.

If you’re in a college there must be a student counselling service. You’d also have a personal tutor. Either of these people can help you. They can give you financial advice ( such as claiming Universal Credit) and info on housing possibilities.
Talk to someone at college. It’s confidential , they won’t go to your mum.

The only thing is that its an online college. But i guess its all the same ^^

Ah ok I'm sorry if I triggered anything for you . Please do understand you never ever have to answer questions that you don't want to. You could report your reply to MN and ask them to remove it due to it being sensitive and upsetting for you.

Hey @Helloworld469

Id recommend you make a plan and post it here. People will help you when you get stuck.

So tonight and tomorrow you could look up rooms to rent near your job/college and find out rough costs.

Then go to entitkledto website and find out everything you can claim.

That way you'll know if you can afford to move out. Then take it from there.

www.entitledto.co.uk