MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

[CrispyOnionsOnly]

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble

I think you are wrong in assuming she lied. Sometimes if viral load is low it might take two or three tests to show up.

Yeah it doesn’t make sense she’d lie the first time then tell the truth a day later.

My son has had covid and we haven’t isolated him within the house, I got a cold and assumed it was covid but nothing. It is entirely possible you won’t get it at all.

@Bluntness100

What health condition do you have which makes you vulnerable please?

They think it’s somewhere between a cold and flu and kills one in forty thousand, so depending on your underlying health condition is going to give the answer to your concern.

Past that, are you seeking help for your anxiety?

I dont think its catching Covid thats the reason Op is angry, its because her MIL lied to ensure she got help with her move, thats the issue, its a trust one if MIL did actually lie. I get it.

I think if she were lying she wouldn’t have said she has covid yesterday.

[quote Bluntness100]Op, hypochondria and health anxiety are the same thing. You’ve stated repeatedly you have anxiety about your health, this is clinically hyphochondria. It’s not an insult?

www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/health-anxiety/[/quote]
Oh, get off the grass.

This.
Plus if you have DC in school your risk of exposure is probably higher than MiL’s even if you are being careful and she isn’t

Agree. OP your kids are probably exposed to covid in school all the time.

This isn't a MIL problem, it's a DIL problem. Why shouldn't she be living her life and going on holiday? Who are you to dictate what your extended family do with their lives because you have mental health issues. Unbelievable levels of entitlement.

Guess what, COVID is here forever and you will almost certainly get it at some point. The chances of you dying are so ridiculously low and you have much much much more of a probability of dying of cancer or the like.

As others have said, it's one thing to ruin your own life but you can't expect others to tip toe around you because you have anxiety. That is unbelievably selfish

@Autumndays123

This isn't a MIL problem, it's a DIL problem. Why shouldn't she be living her life and going on holiday? Who are you to dictate what your extended family do with their lives because you have mental health issues. Unbelievable levels of entitlement.

Guess what, COVID is here forever and you will almost certainly get it at some point. The chances of you dying are so ridiculously low and you have much much much more of a probability of dying of cancer or the like.

As others have said, it's one thing to ruin your own life but you can't expect others to tip toe around you because you have anxiety. That is unbelievably selfish

What a foul post. Shame on you.

@milkyaqua which bit is foul? I'm just trying to explain that every day illnesses like cancer are hundreds of times more likely to kill someone than covid, just trying to put it in perspective!

People don't STILL think they can avoid covid, do they? Wow. 😆😆

[quote Autumndays123]@milkyaqua which bit is foul? I'm just trying to explain that every day illnesses like cancer are hundreds of times more likely to kill someone than covid, just trying to put it in perspective![/quote]
I agree with you wholeheartedly.

If she was going to lie it would be
A that she had tested when hadn't
B it was negative

@toomuchlaundry

Why is she expecting your DH to go over when she has tested positive?

She's nearly 80 and needs help moving home

I love how MIL is also vulnerable due to her age but is fit and healthy so according to OP will be fine even though she actually has covid. While the OP herself hasn't even been directly exposed here but thinks that she will most certainly take it and be terribly ill.

I know you have health anxiety OP, I have emetophobia so I get that there are things that frighten you and you can't help it so I would suggest some counselling, it helped me.

However I would also suggest some empathy for your MIL who is probably not lying and who actually now has Covid. She has a right to live her life and I can't see what she has done wrong here apart from expecting your DH to go there today.

www.healthline.com/health-news/covid-19-does-not-pose-a-greater-risk-for-people-with-asthma-researchers-say#What-doctors-are-saying

Like others have said, it's possible she didn't lie. A friend of mine had a heavy cold in the evening but tested negative so went to work and still felt bad in the morning so did another which was positive. There is a chance she had symptoms and tried to cover them up though.

I don't think my asthma is 'severe' as I haven't been hospitalised with it yet, and I've been diagnosed for forty years. I had Covid in Feb 2020 (yes, quite early) and felt dog rough but only had two nights that were really problematic. And even then, I didn't call for an ambulance. I used my breathing exercises, my steroid inhalers etc.

I hope you'll be fine.

[quote NameChange070421]www.healthline.com/health-news/covid-19-does-not-pose-a-greater-risk-for-people-with-asthma-researchers-say#What-doctors-are-saying[/quote]
OP describes her asthma as severe and if she does fall into that certain section of asthmatics she is at increased risk.

With all kindness meant, you are suffering from anxiety and this poses more of a risk to your children than the risk of Covid. Asthmatics are not regarded as clinically vulnerable.

DH has had a telephone call from old neighbour who has some of MIL stuff in her freezer asking when DH was collecting it today as she's going out. DH explained MIL tested positive last night and he won't be collecting the food to drop it off and would she mind storing it/if not use it or bin it.
Neighbour said well she (MIL) had it Thursday so what does it matter you can just drop it at MIL door.

It's the lying that's upset DH. He's called her told her what the neighbour said and asked why she lied.
She is very sorry and I truly believe she is but the stress of delaying the house move was too much for her and everyone will get it anyway so she lied.
DH is now going to call the removal company and tell them.

I really do appreciate everyone posting and again the rational side of me is fully aware I am much more likely to catch it from DC. I have no idea why I am more anxious suddenly and I really don't blame MIL or anyone for catching Covid I am just upset she lied I think.

he can collect the frozen food surely?
leave it on her door step

so sorry she lied to get your help op.
selfish and irresponsible.

@Autumndays123

This isn't a MIL problem, it's a DIL problem. Why shouldn't she be living her life and going on holiday? Who are you to dictate what your extended family do with their lives because you have mental health issues. Unbelievable levels of entitlement.

Guess what, COVID is here forever and you will almost certainly get it at some point. The chances of you dying are so ridiculously low and you have much much much more of a probability of dying of cancer or the like.

As others have said, it's one thing to ruin your own life but you can't expect others to tip toe around you because you have anxiety. That is unbelievably selfish

Oh, how different this little nasty post would be if it was the DIL who lied to MIL about having covid just to get help with a fucking move. As someone else said, shame on you.

She's nearly 80 and needs help moving home

FFS! She shouldn't be fucking moving home when she has covid. What is wrong with you?

He's not going to catch covid from frozen food.

He's not going to catch covid from frozen food.

He doesn't think he will he's just not up to running around after his mum today.