MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

[CrispyOnionsOnly]

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble

My husband had Delta (which is much worse than omicron) in August. He’s on two different inhalers constantly and was absolutely fine!

best of luck, you have had your jabs,
your mil feels fine and i hope you if you catch it also feel ok

i thought asthma was not a concern anymore?

Yes your MiL is an arse.
No, you’re unlikely to die.
Weirdly, even with omicron I know many people who are remaining negative even living in a house with it (well, il assuming it’s it- people diagnosed in the past couple of weeks who aren’t spreading it on).
Hope you can relax a little today.

It isn't a given you will catch it I know plenty of people who have lived with a positive person and not caught it. Your DH spent time with her on 1 day persumably carrying boxes etc not in constant close contact with her.

do you have a rescue pack, ie steroids?

Take a breath, you say yourself this is not rational.....

Is there some reason you think MIL tested positive before, why did she bother telling you at all ?

Are you shielding? If not your reaction is very concentrated on your mil, in reality any interaction is a risk, it doesn't sound like your MIL is doing anything she shouldn't currently.

Even if you did catch covid more than likely you'd just feel rough for a few days as your triple jabbed.

I have asthma, was 40 and overweight and my covid at worst gave me a sore throat and made me sleep.

The likelihood is even if you caught it, you'd have nothing worse than a run of the mill cold.

your mil was right to go on holiday at home and abroad when able.
what sort of life is it to be in permanent lock down

Well she’s unreasonable to ask your dh to come over now she’s admitted she’s positive

Hopefully neither of you will catch it. I didn’t when dh did despite sleeping in the same bed throughout.

I do think generally we just have to get on with things now and accept the risk.
My dad is cev and I know just how difficult it is to accept that

Why has your DH decided that she lied? It perfectly possible that she tested negative one day and then positive the next.

@ZenNudist

You need to get a grip.

Not a helpful thing to say to someone who suffers anxiety!

DH is severely asthmatic and caught covid pre jab. He actually recovered faster than the rest of us with no long term side effects, we do think the steroid inhaler he’d been on anyway was a factor in his quick recovery.

She’s an arse.
But this is your health anxiety. You may well not catch it. But even if you do you’re triple jabbed. That’s a HUGE amount of protection.
I was shielding. Immunosuppressants and asthma too. I met with a friend who then tested positive later that day! I didn’t catch it.

You’ll be fine.
But you need help with the anxiety my lovely. CBT? Meds? Even try some mindfulness.

My brother has severe asthma (multiple hospitalisations) and he caught covid before he was eligible for vaccination (he was in a priority group but it was Jan 2021). He had a miserable week with headache, backache and so on but no respiratory symptoms at all.

Your MIL sounds an arse but at end of day you can't avoid covid forever.

@MrsLargeEmbodied

your mil was right to go on holiday at home and abroad when able. what sort of life is it to be in permanent lock down

Agree completely with this. If I was in my late 70s like fuck would I be wasting a single day of the time I have left locked away in hiding.

I know a number of people with asthma who have had covid and been absolutely fine. Another is single parent to two young kids who both had covid and never caught it herself. DP's best friend has COPD, has covid now and is fine (a big relief).

Please seek help with your anxiety, it sounds like it's causing you more harm than covid likely would.

Being CV and being careful is eminently sensible @Yummayumma I am not sure you understand how anxiety provoking covid has been for those of us who have very real conditions and vulnerable.

I hope things are fine OP. I would keep away from her (and your DH too clearly if she has it) and test regularly. If you get it, I believe that there is now some medicine cleared for use for a particular set of vulnerable people. The list of those who are eligible are meant to be passed on via GP surgeries. It might be worth calling your GP if you do get it and enquiring. I cannot recall the name of it now and it is very recently being rolled out but keep it in mind.

good luck.

My son caught Covid at school last September. Neither DH nor me caught it. My brother stays with my DM (in her 80s) for work occasionally. Last time he was here he tested positive whilst staying with her and she didn’t get it. My friend’s DH tested positive a day after they’d taken a long car journey together. My friend didn’t get it.

I know you’re worried but I think you’ll be OK. The stress of worrying won’t do you any good at all.

I think you are wrong in assuming she lied. Sometimes if viral load is low it might take two or three tests to show up. How is she feeling?

I am sorry you have been put in this situation. The layers of stress and trauma add to how we process information and your response is not unusual. I hope you find a way to reduce your adrenaline levels and remain calm. Hugs.