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Covid

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Original poster

MIL lied about having Covid now my anxiety is through the roof!

225 replies

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 09:18

This is not a MIL bashing thread as I genuinely do love her but right now I am beyond angry with her.

MIL despite being in her late 70s hasn't really taken covid seriously.
Think still meeting up with her friends during the first 2 lock downs (her friends have the same mindset) going on holiday at every opportunity both UK and abroad.
In a way I kind of understood her point but DH and I made it clear we would not see her until she has done LFTs as I am CV. She agreed so we have met up and see her at least once a month.

This week she is moving house so we of course offered to help. She mentioned on Thursday that her friend who visited the previous weekend has tested positive for Covid. DH told her she must do a LFT as she was having a removal company in yesterday and DH helping too. She called back later to say it was negative.

So Friday DH spent all day there helping her move and I was due to go over with him today to help sort things out. Anyway at 10pm she calls DH and said "oh I have just done a LFT and it's positive, so just you come tomorrow and not Crispy".

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move. I am also angry but more anxious. I have so far avoided covid, I am very careful and now because she is selfish I will most likely get it.
I am trying to tell myself I am triple jabbed and I will be ok but since losing my father to cancer recently at 68 and exdh being diagnosed with heart disease at 51 all with 3 months I have developed huge anxiety around my health.

I barely slept last night and all I can think about is if I catch it I will probably die and leave my poor children with no mother. I know this isn't rational but at the same time I cannot stop the thoughts.

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

So sorry for the long ramble

OP posts:

BoodleBug51 · 08/01/2022 11:24

No one catches Covid deliberately. Or passes it on to anyone deliberately. And everyone is vulnerable to viral and bacterial infections..... you don't ever know how your immune system is going to respond.

This MN venom aimed at anyone who dares to catch Covid is frankly tiresome as fuck.

Cbeebiesrehab · 08/01/2022 11:25

My dad has severe asthma and a heart condition as well as a high BMI and has just had Covid and it was no worse for him than a cold. Hope you’re doing ok.

Newrunner29 · 08/01/2022 11:26

@ZenNudist

You need to get a grip.

For someone with anxiety its the equivalent of telling someone to walk who has no legs in a wheelchair! 😠

Original poster

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 11:26

Hmmm, so he spent all day with her yesterday and didn’t know she was lying, but one phone call and he did

There was alot going on yesterday and he didn't quiz her about it. When she phoned last night he asked her was it a positive on the first test and apparently she ummed/Ahhed said no no then changed the subject.
He knows her better than me but as I said it doesn't really matter now.

And in less than two hours since starting this, you’ve decided you’re no longer angry and not sitting thinking you’re going to die and about your poor children

Of course I am still thinking that but I am trying to be rational and not let the anxiety take over like it was when I first posted. Reading that others with Asthma have had it and been ok does help with that.

OP posts:

Orchid876 · 08/01/2022 11:28

She's completely out of order expecting your DH to still go round when she's tested positive. I can understand your anxiety, but I do think that even if you get it, as you're triple jabbed, that you'll be fine. And your DH may well not test positive, noone else in our house did when DD had Covid. And even if he does test positive, you may well not. There's so many scenarios that have not yet happened, and you don't know your MIL lied, LFTs can take a number of days to get a positive result. Yes be cross that your MIL has a shitty attitude to the risk she poses to others, if she's happy to expose people when she has Covid. I'd probably be quite distant with her in future, as it says a lot about her character. But you will most likely be fine, so get some paracetamol in, get an oximeter just incase, and try not to worry about things you cannot control, and things that have not happened.

Crinkle77 · 08/01/2022 11:29

A colleague of mine has severe asthma and she caught covid a few months ago. It didn't bother her chest but it affected her stomach. She couldn't hold anything down and ended up in hospital as she was dehydrated. She is all well and good now.

Sowhatifiam · 08/01/2022 11:29

DH is fuming he believes she actually tested positive Thursday but lied due to the move

But you don’t actually know if she lied?

For context, at my school, we had a child test negative on the way in at 9am this week who did another test when she got home at 4pm which was positive.

Bluntness100 · 08/01/2022 11:29

I think maybe speak to your gp about your health anxiety/hypochondria, it’s the bigger issue to be honest, and you don’t need to go through this, help is available.

For your husband, I don’t know, does he also have anxiety, or anger management issues, prone to extreme reactions?

Faevern · 08/01/2022 11:30

My friend and her family took a test on NYE morning as they were visiting his parents that day. They were all negative. That evening she felt a bit poorly took an LFT and it was positive. So within about 14 hours the result changed.

She didn't lie or deceive and didn't feel poorly on the morning. The rest of the family all had negative LFTs but all took a PCR. Herself, his DM and one of her DDs tested positive

It's not a given that someone else will catch it or that someone has lied. We have to live with this, we can be careful but we can't avoid it.

Bogofftosomewherehot · 08/01/2022 11:33

@ZenNudist

You need to get a grip.

@ZenNudist The OP says she has health anxiety so your comment is probably the least helpful. It's a bit like telling someone with a broken leg to go for a run.

nannybeach · 08/01/2022 11:37

Such bile on here! Just popping in to say,CV grandson,tested positive Thursday,and asymptomatic. He was shielded for 3 months 2020. Only tested because his DS has it

5128gap · 08/01/2022 11:39

Please don't let the what ifs, maybes and highly unlikelies spoil your otherwise good relationship with a MIL you describe as lovely. And please don't label people as selfish because they have coped with things differently, and have a different view of the risk. Ultimately you and your MIL are acting in your own interests, and neither is more or less selfish than the other. You don't know she lied. It's not certain you will catch it from her. It's highly unlikely if you do you will be ill. One day anxieties around covid will be just a memory, but the damage to families these sort of divisisions cause could last much longer.

HandWash · 08/01/2022 11:39

This isn't a normal response OP. It was in the early days of Covid, but things have moved on.

I think it's great your MIL has been out and about, enjoying holidays and living her life!

You'll be around people all the time who are positive for Covid and have no idea and so will your DH & DC Unless you homeschool, work from home and never leave the house?

Original poster

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 11:42

I know it seems pathetic to some that I am so anxious about this and until recently I never reacted this way. Even the several times I have been admitted to hospital due to sever asthma attacks I was never "health anxious".

Bluntness I am not a hypercondiac nor does my DH have anger issues but I appreciate your insight.

OP posts:

NYnewstart · 08/01/2022 11:45

What did she say when he presumably refused to go over today?

HandWash · 08/01/2022 11:45

@CrispyOnionsOnly

Bluntness I am not a hypercondiac nor does my DH have anger issues but I appreciate your insight.

Not pathetic at all! I suffer from anxiety and recently finished a course of therapy that I found very useful.

milkyaqua · 08/01/2022 11:45

It is a perfectly normal and understandable response.

I think, being asthmatic, and knowing what it feels like to not be able to catch a breath, has made this whole pandemic more vivid for many of us.

I am glad to read you are triple jabbed, and also that you are calming down. I completely get your anxiety around this.

FourTeaFallOut · 08/01/2022 11:49

Anyone else with severe asthma caught Covid and been fine?

I have jumped from your op to post so may have missed relevant details but, fwiw, I have had vaccines and my booster and my asthma is severe enough to classify me as cev from the outset of the pandemic. I have covid right now, on day 6, and my breathing has been rock steady even when the symptoms were at their worst at the beginning.

Faevern · 08/01/2022 11:50

@5128gap

Well said @5128gap

RestingPandaFace · 08/01/2022 11:51

@CrispyOnionsOnly

Bluntness I am not a hypercondiac nor does my DH have anger issues but I appreciate your insight.

Don’t be daft, so many of us that were classed as CEV never had anxieties about our health before because you just deal with what’s in front of you. I know that for me, and a lot of others, receiving the shielding letters and guidance made me look at my health in a whole new way. I’d always treated asthma as a minor inconvenience before, even when in hospital, but I now think of it as much more serious.

The NHS spend a year putting the fear of God into us that if we caught this thing we’d be ill, we’d die, we might not get ICU care when we needed it (note when not if) we all spent a year living in fear of this thing and under enormous stress, and that doesn’t go away overnight. Rationally we know that things are different, we know that Omicron is less serious, jabs will help etc. but it will take a while for the fear to evaporate.

Original poster

CrispyOnionsOnly · 08/01/2022 11:51

What did she say when he presumably refused to go over today?

All the heavy lifting and important unpacking was done yesterday but she struggled to understand why he couldn't just drive to her old neighbours house and pick up the freezer food she left with them and drop it at the new place.
DH did a supermarket shop for her before he left so she has plenty of food but she is fixated on collecting the freezer stuff.

She's very fit and active so what's left to do she can manage perfectly well.

OP posts:

whynotwhatknot · 08/01/2022 11:51

not necessarily lying but she does realise she cant have anyone round now or go anywhere

your dh must stay away from her for at least 6 days until she tests negative

whynotwhatknot · 08/01/2022 11:53

He can drop the food outside her door but she has to stay in

MajorCarolDanvers · 08/01/2022 11:53

What's wrong with going on holiday?

Qwertykeys · 08/01/2022 11:54

No one can go now she should be isolating

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